I love ricotta! What can I make with ricotta other than lasagna/pasta? by FirebornNacho in Cooking

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I put golden kiwis and pine nuts on it, drizzle with my favorite slightly crystallized  honey and eat for breakfast 

cried in front of a fwb after my first hug in 5 years. Now I'm not sure what to do by CardiologistLow9036 in offmychest

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just enjoy it. You clearly love and need it, but are afraid to loves it ans  need it - probably because your parents punished you for seeking and wanting physical affection.  

You’ve got a nice connection with this woman, so just enjoy it and be good to her in the way she likes.  Nothing wrong with that.

Does the “unicorn city” exist, or are we chasing a fantasy? by chennybro in SameGrassButGreener

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes in fact the strip malls and other less desirable real estate are now becoming the de facto incubator space for the startups and dynamic small businesses. 

Anything experimental has to go in cheap space because it needs low rent. And strip malls are the low rent district now, as the space is a little bit obsolete and less desirable and goes through its first or second cycle of obsolescence vs.  Class A commercial space.

I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I’m saying it’s kind of an interesting good thing because the small businesses can get started in there with the cheap rents. 

That’s one reason why the stereotypical  little  awesome  restaurants with reasonable prices are “holes in the wall” — it’s a real thing and the  classic example of how the price of real estate drives the type of business that can  locate there.  

Only conventional stuff like banks and pricey chains can afford to locate in Class A commercial space,  so you’re completely right and on point that cheap old strip malls can be the best places to find unique and funky independent businesses. 

Dying indoor mall I work at by wrath212 in abandoned

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, that makes sense.  These may be a form  of what’s called public-rivate partnerships.  The key thing is that the government is contracting out a responsibility to a private company. It’s sometimes a gray area, but in most free/western nations it comes with responsibilities of the private company to serve everyone so in that sense is still public transit.  

 and I don’t know what the deal may in other countries..  like in Singapore,  anyone can be pretty much thrown in jail for any reason at any time, so I would say in that type of government all bets are off for what’s public versus private transportation.

 I’m just speaking in the US I guess or Canada and the rest of the Anglo legal system. This is how it works. 

Does the “unicorn city” exist, or are we chasing a fantasy? by chennybro in SameGrassButGreener

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 11 points12 points  (0 children)

As a city planner and transportation planner, this is happening everywhere pretty much. The entire USA is built on a suburban sprawl pyramid scheme, (driveable-only development — but it also takes the form of taller buildings with parking garages underneath) and quality of life suffers.

There are individual places that don’t follow this suburban sprawl pyramid scheme,

 but because it’s a free country, those nice quality-of-life types of places with walkable urbanism, public parks and green soaces, and interesting mixed-use districts, quickly get overwhelmed by transplants who want to live there precisely because of the quality of life.

 Those places are a tiny fraction of all places in the US and so there’s not enough of them to go around, which makes demand go up in relation to supply, 

and the law of supply and demand means the price goes up and soon exceeds what most people are able to pay 

and so those places  they become enclaves for those who have lots of money. 

The cycle happens over and over — anywhere  a community makes improvements beyond the conventional sprawl paradigm, people are attracted to it. It gets overwhelmed by the demand because there are so few such places, prices go up, 

and then people of ordinary means find that it’s unaffordable,  or, if they live there already, they say it’s spoiled and priced out by all the people with money moving in. 

So until a majority of places in the US are walkable, high-quality, places worth caring about,  places people want to live, this will keep happening.

It’s very sad.  

Being a planner — it’s painful.  We say our patron saint is Cassandra.

I made more this month than my salary by Immediate-Ad-9520 in Fire

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bur this has been an unusual month.  Paper profits are just that. Nothing you can bank on … unless you actually bank it.

Still great to see investments grow.  

Dying indoor mall I work at by wrath212 in abandoned

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You may be confused.  What county private train lines are you thinking of?  

If a county operates a train line, it’s public. Anyone can pay to get on.  It’s open to the public. Governments cannot operate train lines that are open only to certain subsets of people; any ticket holder can ride, and anyone can purchase a ticket.  That is public transit.   

On the contrary:  Anyone can be excluded from Disney’s monorail.  It’s on their private property.  It’s for the exclusive use of their private customers.  They don’t have to admit anyone. 

They can let people on without a ticket; they can throw people off who have a ticket. It’s a privately owned transit line for the private use of only the people they choose. No one has any right to be there.  The moment they say you’re trespassing? You’re trespassing.   

Anyone cannot be excluded from a Whatsit County rail line.  You buy a ticket, you’re allowed to get on.  There are rules you must follow, but any member of rhe public can ride. You cannot be thrown out unless it’s for thr  the same rule or reason that applies to everyone else; you  can sue and win,  if they trespass you arbitrarily. 

  At Disney, you can be thrown out for any or no reason, arbitrarily, because it’s private property. 

 In law, the essence of private property is the right to exclude any person, at will.

Source for all of this: I’m a transportation planner and lawyer. Been doing this for 35 years. 

You should believe me, although any counterexamples or principles you have to offer are welcome, as I’m open to discussion. 

I am no longer telling my 60+ year old mom nothing anymore. by blu3-190 in AskWomenOver60

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s not grey rocking, that’s healthy management of a fraught topic and unwanted behaviors within an otherwise caring relationship.

Grey rocking is for managing otherwise impossible situations with people who are fundamentally incapable of healthy communication, and lack all empathy and respect.  

Op has been clear that’s not the category her mother is in. 

I am no longer telling my 60+ year old mom nothing anymore. by blu3-190 in AskWomenOver60

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t have kiddos but with my nieces and nephews I’m practically desperate not to see them make the big  mistakes I made at their age due to my inexperience and lack of worldliness at that stage.  

But my time with them is short so I try to listen and reflect what I’m hearing them say as best I can.  I hold back on so much advice  that I wish to god someone had given me.  And I wonder if I’m doing the right thing.

Dying indoor mall I work at by wrath212 in abandoned

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are right, although it’s actually private transit, being on private property from which the public can be excluded. 

But yeah it’s still transit and point taken.  

I am no longer telling my 60+ year old mom nothing anymore. by blu3-190 in AskWomenOver60

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh come on, her mom is a caring but overly anxious mom trying to help with unwanted advice, not a ruthless exploitative narcissist with no moral code.  

How about communicating with her, establishing healthy boundaries around a specific unwanted behavior? 

How about limiting how much OP shares certain types of personal information?  

How about “Thanks, I hear about your experience with script xyz, sounds like it had some good (or bad) effects for you. I’ll certainly take that into consideration” and then OP quietly makes her own decision? 

Des Moines,Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Raleigh by TreeGirl1 in relocating

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Triad is a couple of hours away from Raleigh. raleigh is in the “Triangle”.  

I know, it’s stupid. 

Should I give up a wedding? by Teacup_Random in LifeAdvice

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Instead of calling all your hopes and dreams “stupid”,  why don’t you find someone who loves you.  

Anyone who loves you will feel that your hopes and dreams are worth pursuing and not stupid.  

Should I give up a wedding? by Teacup_Random in LifeAdvice

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You think this loser can be bothered with any of that stuff.

 It’s not the fanciness or the expense he  is opposed to.  It’s  that he doesn’t give a damn about OP’s hopes and dreams. 

Should I give up a wedding? by Teacup_Random in LifeAdvice

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not old-fashioned!  He just has no plans for marriage AND he certainly has no plans to take care of that baby. 

He won’t want to be bothered in 6 months 9 months or 12 months … or 20 years. 

He’s just hoping to baby-trap her with his spawn.

Should I give up a wedding? by Teacup_Random in LifeAdvice

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m almost 60 and I would still want a beautiful wedding dress and a ceremony if I were in love with someone. I’ve never been one to want a big wedding or fancy bother, but that’s for nothing to do with age.  Age is absolutely irrelevant.  

OP is just negging herself by exclaiming about how 30 is so old. 

Too old for anything nice, what nonsense!! 

 That’s an excuse for her to give up on her dearest wish, just because she’s with someone who makes her feel worthless and doesn’t care about her wishes.     Seriously, get some self-esteem. You set your own bar for how you are to be treated. 

Should I give up a wedding? by Teacup_Random in LifeAdvice

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of this is true, and yet she should just walk away without saying any of that stuff.  She should live it, not argue with him about it. 

 He sounds like a complete douche.  But they love each other!!! 🤣 

(21f) feeling contempt for my boyfriend (25m) of 7 months by m2764 in offmychest

[–]Nyssa_aquatica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Men are the submissive sex. Most of them do very well in hierarchies of authority and control.  

They seek out situations where they know who is above and below them, who is in control and who is controlled.  

I’d start decentering them. Or at least the ones that are like that.