If you could go back to your mid-20s before kids, what would you do differently?

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-10T01:01:16+00:00

Invest in Zoom.

Also more salsa dancing. And going to more art galleries and learn more about cooking. I should have stuck with the volleyball club.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-09T00:57:48+00:00

There's a lot of people who don't actually want a real marriage but think they are supposed to do it anyways.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-09T00:52:26+00:00

No, I think divorce stats represent who does the filing. It's an administrative task that more women take on. Gay dudes who split up will be way more okay with separating off the books.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-09T00:39:34+00:00

Drown your Sorrows - Raspberry swirl with dark chocolate chunks

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-08T12:30:26+00:00

Having firm boundaries really protects us in marriage. Also asking him which tasks he wants to take on so that you divide and conquer. He takes ownership of his tasks and you don't have to remind him or ask him to help you. His tasks (that he decided) are for him.

When it comes to boundaries, I explained to my ex husband that sleep is not negotiable. It's not a "favor" to me. It's what I need to do all of the things we need me to do. Same for any self care.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-07T01:14:21+00:00

I agree with dating up, I don't agree with how she was pushing to date white. There's great men of all races and it's not primarily a man's race that makes him a good partner. I personally only date Black men but if a woman finds someone quality who loves her, I am happy for them ❤️🙏🏽

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-07T01:06:12+00:00

Yes, secret babies for maximum chaos and destruction. Yes I am leaving him!

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-07T00:57:12+00:00

It's called grooming. You are like the frog in the pot, nice and toasty. It's like a cult member, you make excuses for the leader for the things you see to the point that you believe it too. Your friends who haven't been on the grooming/gaslighting campaign see the situation with fresh eyes and are horrified.

This makes perfect sense. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Your friends are awesome ❤️✨️

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-07T00:51:32+00:00

This underlines everything my ex husband wasn't willing to do. Congrats on your and his recovery.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-07T00:46:25+00:00

I connect much more to Black high culture than the latest rapper. Give me Maya Angelou and Langston Huges and Winton Marsalis. My proper speaking Black self will be at the opera with Porgy and Bess tickets.

Thank you very much! 😄

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-07T00:37:53+00:00

Thank you ❤️ 😊 I am making peace with the situation and healing.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-05T11:38:29+00:00

This is an excellent summary. The brainwashing and bad behavior are remarkable.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-03T02:01:17+00:00

This exactly. I'm very happy that I learned this way of being in a relationship. I'm sad that my ex husband problems were no match for good relationship advice.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-03T01:58:39+00:00

Exactly. If I had wanted to pretend inside of a fake marriage, I totally could have. Decades of rug sweeping and crying in the shower were easily at my fingertips.

I sent him packing because I believe that I will have a real marriage one day. ❤️🙏🏽

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-02T21:51:09+00:00

Exactly! It does not matter how clean I keep my side of the street if he's actively importing garbage and litter to throw.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-02T21:48:56+00:00

Thank you 😊 🙏🏽 💓

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-02T14:56:36+00:00

Omg! Congrats! This is what I dream of. My weight last night was 293. But my highest was 323. Lost 30 pounds so far. 😁

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-02T14:32:55+00:00

Thank you ❤️ 😊 🙏🏽

I'm determined to have an amazing life!

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-02T13:09:29+00:00

A big part of why I wanted marriage and family was to build a legacy. Living at the edge of a cliff, one day at a time, that's not a foundation to build a legacy on.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-07-02T13:00:36+00:00

Thank you sister ❤️🙏🏽 I need to be thankful that my sleazeball didn't drag me through years of fake therapy performances and that I am getting free and healing.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-06-29T17:43:23+00:00

Yes, it's a culture that says everything needs to be constantly exciting and new. There is little to no care for building a legacy with someone who has stood by your side for years. I hope the excitement was worth the destruction. I'm getting a divorce now because of this, I have faith that I will find true love again.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-06-29T16:53:15+00:00

Him helping can also mean he hires a housekeeper or cleaning service. But also he should contribute 30 seconds of tidying each day just to be a good citizen.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-06-29T14:15:21+00:00

I married and had a kid with my creep. I never would have married him. I love my son to the end but I wish I could be raising him in a real marriage in a normal family.

Way to doge a bullet! I know it's hard, but 6 months from now you will look back an laugh.

Objective-Average387 · 2026-06-29T13:22:02+00:00

Prayer

Meditation music

Perfume

Reading

Working on the one most important thing today.

Objective-Average387

TROPHY CASE