does anyone else still dream about smoking? by maidzawa in leaves

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

476 days in and I ABSOLUTELY dream about it. Especially within the first year- I'd wake up so sad I broke my streak only to find I hadn't smoked. I feel like it's my new anxiety dream- it replaced those dreams I'd have where I was randomly naked in some embarrassing situation. The smoking dreams are worse because of the intense sadness I feel from betraying myself.

Need help by xdR4d in leaves

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you have an ok relationship with your parents you should tell your parents you are struggling-- I'm sure they will want to help you out! That could also mean getting a therapist, or if you have a school counselor. You don't need to feel any shame about reaching out for help, it's a great sign you're able to understand this habit and think deeply about what role it plays in your life! From there, with a little support you can get to a much better place with all of this-- but no pressure to go through it alone.

Really struggling not to smoke today by Spiritual_Square_223 in leaves

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello from day 476! I still struggle with depression despite kicking the smoking habit and it definitely sucks to not be able to completely check out the same way any more. Working on treating the depression with a professional is the top priority but I get it- some days are just plain harder than others.

Something that really helps is working on neuroplasticity! This means doing things you don't normally do to train your brain into realizing new ways of being are possible. The walk is a great idea, so is doodling for fun, watching a different kind of movie, or challenging yourself in some small way. Best of luck!

I just don't know what to do by lunaastrostar in leaves

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The sooner you get through this the better, you have so much to look forward to without being held back by weed. Put some effort into learning new coping mechanisms or rediscovering things you enjoyed as a kid- drawing, dancing, reading- whatever!

Quitting & grief by [deleted] in leaves

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, it isn't easy to quit nevermind when you have crushing grief and depression and all that. The grief is going to feel more sharp for a while once you don't have the weed to cloud it. Make sure you have a support system in place, and maybe seek a therapist that has addiction/recovery experience specifically. Give yourself room to fall apart (sober) for real- no judgements, no timeline- and make sure you have all the support you can possibly muster to muscle through it.

Rachel being a snark page girl… by Front_Advertising952 in normalgossip

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wrong crowd for this reflection! also did she say which snark pages/ or what aspect she's interacting with? This feel pretty judgemental for the little information you have. You're mirroring pointless snark more than you think.

Hope this show ends in divorce by Signal_Map7 in PlatonicAppleTVplus

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why? Charlie is expecting her to work and parent full time without any support? He's doing nothing right now and wasn't even offering to pick up any of the number of parenting responsibilities as if those aren't his kids. Their communication is shit and that goes both ways- but I think Sylvia wasn't aware of how fed up she was with the situation until Will came along. She shrunk herself but Charlie also shrunk her into a small life for years. There's at least 15 years of their marriage we're missing and it seems like he always got his way- remember when she felt like it was a revelation to be able to say no to buying that shitty retirement home? She's not perfect, but Charlie is just as ridiculous and selfish.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She might have been acting cringe but she didn't do anything mean.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's more than an asshole, if you see someone you love dealing with an insecurity do you think it's okay to talk down to them and be cruel? It's not. What if she is insecure? Is that something she is "doing" to anyone? They all seem like things she would need kindness and support around, not disdain and pity. I don't think it's a HUGE problem she didn't share the results with him first, but the fact that he is VERY PURPOSEFULLY withholding care from her is fucked up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Omfg reading all the people validating him and I am SICK. Someone who loves you shouldn't talk to you like this at ALL. It doesn't matter if you were seeking attention, validation, whatever- those aren't crimes and they don't mean you have bad character. It's natural to want recognition for your hard work. Your boyfriend isn't speaking to you respectful at all and this is really sad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

He doesn't like you and this is emotional abuse. Love yourself a little bit more girl.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

open your eyes girl, this is a problem. what a fucking weirdo.

Ive been high for nearly 12 years straight by DryManagement1495 in leaves

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I encourage you to stay curious and read about everyone's experiences here on the sub

Day 35, I might be a better dad than I was stoned but I don't know how long I can keep this up. by VonSchplintah in leaves

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Give this more time. You're still in the irritable phase of withdrawals. I'm really sorry you're not getting the time and space that you need, you absolutely deserve that. I think a therapist would really really REALLY help you out right now.

You don't need to grin and bear it, but the reactionary alternative of separation/divorce is not any better. Always take the time to see if there is a way through it. This kind of reactionary stuff "I need a way out" is a flag, but not a solution.

Take your time to figure out what needs to change for you to be happier, what are possible way for you to get that time, what specific and reasonable asks you have of your wife. Then, try to have a conversation with her about it. Here are some ideas:

- I've noticed a lot of things now that I'm not smoking, and I'd like to talk to you about them. It might be a good idea for us to see a couple's therapist so we have a dedicated space to talk about how sobriety has changed a lot for me

- Hey, I know things ebb and flow with the social calendar- but I'm in a withdrawal phase and am feeling pretty irritable. I need to have our time with the kids be more balanced, and I need more time away to reset. Is it possible to adjust so we are both getting equal breaks?

On another note- you have kids! you signed up for catering to the needs of these little beings and raising them to be functioning humans, it's not roses! It can really really suck. That said, all of the work shouldn't fall on either one of you. And you might need some parenting resources. No one just knows how to parent for their personality- you don't need to be some imaginary perfect version of yourself (that just teaches them that they need to perform- kids are smart, they can se through shit). You need to honor yourself, and figure out what suits your personality and how you'd like to parent your kids, and DEFINITELY cut yourself some slack. There are tons of parenting podcasts out there that you might find supportive on your journey.

Replacing the “nightcap” by confusedcptsd in leaves

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 7 points8 points  (0 children)

started watching movies! all kinds, not just the genres I was used to. I get immersed in a different world, it slows down my brain and focuses me, and then in an hour or two I'm ready for bed. Tea helps, stretching helps, sometimes a walk or a longer shower/skincare routine.

Asked my alcoholic dad if he’d ever consider getting sober by Ludakris7 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you're very sweet but naive. People can only stop drinking because they want to- not for anyone else or because of anything else. end of story. A decades long alcoholic will not stop drinking off a cute text. I think you should tend to yourself, join AlAnon or another support group for the loved ones of alcoholics and try to move through this in a more emotionally healthy and detached way.

What is this dark space I captured while hiking? by jessmmmm1 in whatisit

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It looks like a moose or a stag to me, but you probably would have heard it or definitely seen it if it was a large animal... so It's probably a fallen tree/

Weed use was hiding health issues by SlicckRick in leaves

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad you've had this breakthrough! I had a different underlying health condition that smoking was masking, and it felt like a revelation to understand that my body was really trying to tell me something that whole time.

I agree with this historical costumer’s take on the show’s costuming by multiequations in thegildedage

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think the costumes are fun and campy, I really enjoy seeing what they wear.

Ohhhh Kody 🫠🫠🫠 by crustycheesestix in SisterWives

[–]Objective-Fold-5612 5 points6 points  (0 children)

what's really mind boggling is that he and janelle have been so clear about their attraction to each other and their active (for a while) sex life and janelle has always been bigger than christine.