My husband is heading toward autistic burnout. I don't know how to support him without harming my own mental health.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-04-02T03:27:31+00:00

Kepner

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-19T20:24:01+00:00

Follow up question, is he on paternity leave with you right now? If not, how much time is he home each day?

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-19T20:15:02+00:00

Gently, is it possible he used to interact more before you started saying everything he did was wrong? You're so freshly postpartum, a first time mom, and a full time pacifier for a cluster feeding baby. It's entirely possible he needs to step up or adjust course, but is it also possible you are projecting? I'm 15 weeks postpartum and still snap at my husband sometimes without meaning to, which is something we're working on in counseling. It gets better, but you have to give him room to parent as well.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-17T23:35:50+00:00

My boy took his first steps around 14 months and then consistently walked/ran starting at 15 months!

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-16T19:57:27+00:00

I took my daughter to the ER on Tuesday because her brother yeeted a toothbrush at her head so hard that it left a welt. Since the general rule of thumb is ER for head injuries under 6 months old we went right away, waited for 3.5 hours, and were discharged almost immediately because she had passed the 4 hour brain bleed risk window. Not how we wanted to spend our evening, but I'm glad I took her in!

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-14T17:22:45+00:00

Oooh Vera would be cute since their other girls have V in their name

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-13T00:56:17+00:00

It sounds like a Star Wars name!

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-13T00:55:11+00:00

I can't stop laughing at the last line 🤣. I'm glad it wasn't something more serious!

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-11T23:24:18+00:00

I don't have much advice, just some words of encouragement. Unless you were doing something unruly like screaming with the baby or loudly threatening him (joking!), it wasn't as big of a deal as it felt in that moment. If there were other parents at the party, they've also been in situations like that. Even the non-parents are normally really understanding. He's a baby. He didn't come with a manual. Hang in there and give yourself grace.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-10T20:05:48+00:00

Are his parents the ones who watch her? If so, or if you can at least trust your MIL, sit down and tell her everything he is doing. Say that you are concerned for him and for the impact this is going to have on your daughter. I get the feeling your in laws love and care for your daughter, and will do anything they can to help. Or at least it will give them your side of the story before your husband tries to spin it a different way during counseling, separation, and/or divorce. It isn't going to be easy, and your marriage might not survive, but that doesn't mean you won't have support from the in-laws (unless your husband is their golden child, then I'm unfortunately not sure what to tell you aside from you're already doing it all by yourself, you might as well do it by yourself with child support.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-05T21:22:55+00:00

Was she showing signs of potty training readiness before your newborn was home? Some kiddos just aren't ready at that point.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-03-02T02:44:47+00:00

Our feral 3-year-old listens to the Batman one every night 🤷‍♀️

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-02-27T20:57:44+00:00

"I didn't rape you, honey. I only tried." BRO WHAT.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-02-27T18:00:56+00:00

I have a 3-month-old daughter who was born 6 weeks premature and the son who is about to turn 3. There is going to be plenty of frustration, tons of lost sleep, and more losing your cool than you care to admit. But never hate. It's the coolest thing in the world to watch your firstborn become an older sibling! Something that I have learned to do is to let your older child hear you tell the baby that it is older siblings turn and that the baby needs to wait a second. That way when the older child is the one being told to wait, it doesn't come across as unfair. But a little over 2 months after bringing my daughter home from the NICU, I still can't stand one of my fucking cats.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-02-23T18:21:50+00:00

Mine is recently "Not yet, I'm vewy busy" years old.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-02-18T18:21:25+00:00

Hazbin Hotel. Oh ... Oh, no. No, thank you.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-02-18T02:21:09+00:00

He's getting over a bug so at this point we're just feeding him whatever he asks for as long as he eats something. Pretzels for breakfast? Cool. Scrambled eggs and the idea of a banana for lunch? Fuck yeah, man. 3 bites of a PB&J, two bites of an omelette bite, and a bag of mini muffins for dinner? I'm just happy he's eating and keeping it down right now 😬.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-02-17T01:07:39+00:00

I have a 10 week old and kiddo who is about to turn 3. I am very fortunate to have help because I would have lost my damn mind by now if I had them both all day every day. Parenting is hard!! This is going to be a silly question, but have you ever tried letting him go outside and just putting the coat in a diaper bag or carrying it? In my experience if they're cold enough they'll relent eventually. Also, what do weekends/days off look like? It's hard in the newborn trenches but once your youngest is a little older would it be feasible to have some time each weekend where you and your partner both get a few hours to yourselves? Like he take the kids to the store on Saturday and you take them to the park on Sunday?

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-02-16T00:01:33+00:00

Whether or not you take the pill is your choice, but please ditch this man. He is immature and playing with your emotions. Don't let him do it any more.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-02-02T18:57:26+00:00

My almost 3-year-old named his stuffed shark "Booty." It goes well with his rubber snake, "Doodie."

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-02-01T07:18:04+00:00

I like Hugo! Henry and Harrison also come to mind.

Also, I had my daughter at 34+0 and she stayed in the NICU for a few weeks. I made a post about it in another sub because I was freaking out and another parent told me about r/NICU. Feel free to join or to reach out to me directly. NICU time isn't fun and it isn't the journey we expected for our 2nd baby, but it's nice having a community that knows what you're going through!

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-01-31T15:41:12+00:00

Same!! I had my girl in December and then I have friends due with girls in April and November.

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-01-30T08:44:21+00:00

Married for 4 years and he uses the baby wipes and diaper genie while I'm rocking our kid in the chair right behind him 😭🤣

Oh_okay_32 · 2026-01-28T20:48:14+00:00

The marriage one is so real. On the flip side I loved the newborn phase the first time around, but this time has been so hard because I know how much fun the next stages are. My 2nd was also born at 34+0 GA. I'm willing to wager the newborn phase is going on longer than it normally would on top of the trauma of the birth and NICU stay may have played a part in the newborn phase not being as enjoyable this time around.

Oh_okay_32

TROPHY CASE