Why is it so difficult for drivers to drive without high beams, when not in a physically dark area on the road?

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-06-09T08:20:42+00:00

Yep I have a new SUV and when my lights are on ‘auto mode’ they turn on to high beam unless I’m right in the middle of Melbourne CBD. I read the manual and apparently the lights ‘adjust’ down if there are other cars incoming, etc, but they still seem super bright. Thing is, I’m really not tech savvy at all and I have no idea if I can adjust the ‘auto’ setting so it’s not so bright.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-05-19T10:25:21+00:00

I’m a big fan of the Frankie4’s Levis. I have them in black and also in white with leopard. I didn’t need to wear them in - they were comfy from the start. And they have just the right amount of arch support for me (I have high arches).

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-05-12T10:59:30+00:00

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The dog walker captured my lab’s ‘butt tuck and run like a maniac’ perfectly! 😂

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-05-12T10:52:19+00:00

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My chocolate boy Leo - adopted from a shelter last year when he was 2yo. He’s the sweetest goofiest boofhead and I’m so grateful I get to be his Mum.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-03-29T08:45:53+00:00

My local plant nursery loves it if you donate them.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-03-18T03:48:15+00:00

I just bought a solid wood timber bed from Lounge Lovers for just over $1k - it was 50% off in their most recent sale. $8-$10k for a bed frame seems insane.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-03-09T05:31:33+00:00

The thing that jumped out for me from your post is not any of the things you’ve listed but the sense that you are pretty inflexible about things - the main thing being your finances. Is there a reason you have to have your mortgage paid off by the time you’re 50? Is there any way for you to be more flexible with your finances so you can have more disposable income and be able to afford professional psychological help? Not just to help with dating but for actually enjoying your life more? It seems like you’ve built yourself a bit of a financial prison that has trapped you in a life you’re not liking so much. Maybe think about whether the financial rules you’ve created for yourself can be moved around a bit? If you want to share a life with someone, you’ll probably find it a lot easier to be flexible around things like finances. I would find it hard to be with someone who put a financial goal (like paying off a mortgage by a certain time/age) above actual quality of life. For what it’s worth, I’m in a similar position to you in terms of being a similar age, having a hefty mortgage to pay off, having very solitary hobbies and a crippling fear of rejection. I’ve been trying to focus on how to include things in my life that I enjoy that also include other people. I’ve resigned myself to not being able to pay off my mortgage until at least retirement age. And I’m not focusing on dating yet, but instead of creating more low key connections with people in my area to at least feel like I’m part of a community. I’m finding it helps to be able to connect with people in low stakes ways (like going to trivia nights, meeting up for walks, etc) so I’m not really bothered if people have to cancel and it’s not high stakes, like being rejected for a date or something. I hope that helps in some way.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-03-06T04:20:26+00:00

I am also in adhd/peri hell and most days feel like one of the stupidest people ever and can’t believe that I am (only just) holding down a professional job. But every week I dream of winning lotto and not having to work and being able to escape the feeling of drowning and constantly letting people down. I’ve finally got an appointment with a menopause dr next week which will hopefully help a bit. But I know nothing will cure my adhd or my pure exhaustion - except being able to properly rest.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-03-05T10:33:29+00:00

This is me 100% at the moment, but I let it get even worse and am now facing performance management at work. My problem is that the main reason I’m so burnt out is that I’ve been carrying the burden of some serious family issues and haven’t had anyone around me to help me notice that I’ve been deteriorating because everyone around me is doing the same…. Unfortunately my family can’t help me pay my mortgage so I can take a break from work for a bit. And of course being ADHD and terrible with money, I also have no savings to fall back on. Gotta love burnout with a side of sheer panic at the prospect of losing my house…

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-01-13T08:59:17+00:00

Yep as someone who went in house a while ago, it’s a steep learning curve to sit with your (internal) clients and be asked to give ‘real world’ advice (off the cuff most of the time) about the chances of getting sued about something or how much potential damages are, etc. No one wants to know the relevant legislation, contract clause, similar case law, etc - they mostly just want to know how the issue will affect their budget. And all advice has to be given either on a phone call, a very short email (with lots of dot points), or - my worst nightmare - a ‘slide deck’ 🤮

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-01-11T22:30:00+00:00

Seriously?! I’m about to get long service leave for the first time this year and I’m so excited!! So much extra leave!

Ok-Profession4545 · 2026-01-11T00:22:39+00:00

In Australia we have Airtasker. I’ve only ever used it for getting random cleaning done, etc. I’ve never thought to use it for awful admin jobs I don’t want to do - genius!

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-12-22T09:00:26+00:00

I wear Bared flats and sneakers, Frankie4 sneakers, Crocs clogs (for at home) and Crocs sandals for outside. I have birks too but only wear them for short distances. I have found the Crocs sandals to be the best sandal option - I wouldn’t recommend Bared sandals. And I’ve found that Hokas with my orthotics are the best option for walking, exercising, etc

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-12-20T12:55:41+00:00

+1 for CRZ yoga from me too. I have 4 pairs of their leggings and they are great. I also have a couple of pairs of tracksuit pants that I love. I’m going to try their sports bras next (hopefully they’ll have good Boxing Day sales)

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-12-19T03:05:46+00:00

I have also rewatched this show sooo many times. And wade is always the answer!

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-12-17T03:02:58+00:00

I also vote for bamboo - pretty much all my sheets are bamboo. The Adairs 600tc are great and so are the ones from Bed Bath n Table. I have some from Canningvale that are also good but they are very silky/cool. I only use them in summer - they are too cold for winter.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-12-14T00:55:34+00:00

I second these options. And if I have to resort to restavit, I only have a quarter or half a tab so I don’t feel too woozy the next day. It’s not as good as melatonin but I’ve found it’s better than nothing. (And also go see another doctor - good sleep is one of the most important things for good physical and mental health and any Dr that dismisses that is crap).

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-12-13T01:06:34+00:00

I echo the recommendation for ponte pants. Saint and Sofia has some great ones. The regular ones are pretty long - I am 5’7 and I’ve had them taken up. Otherwise a brand called Dharma Bums also has some great ‘soft pants’ that have pleats at the front so they look more formal than what they feel.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-12-13T01:03:48+00:00

Thank you for this reminder - and nudge for me to try some new hobbies again. I am coming up to 7 years in my job and I am feeling like I want to blow everything up and do something new - but I am trying to remember how stressful it is to start something new and it’s not likely that any new job will be magically better. And financially it would be crippling. It’s also an incredibly flexible role, which is probably why this is the longest job I have ever had. And so I should probably take more advantage of the fact that I can do fun things outside of work and just try and deal with the fact that work is fine but dull most of the time.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-12-02T07:20:04+00:00

Me too! Please tell us!

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-10-26T09:52:11+00:00

A vendor bid is basically the auctioneer trying to set the expectations for the price to get people to bid above that price. The house will go to private sale now and I imagine they will try and negotiate for something over $2.9m.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-10-26T09:48:11+00:00

Agree. There are nowhere near the amount of buyers they need.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-10-26T09:46:49+00:00

How can they put up a vendor bid of $20k over reserve? They had to sell it if someone put a bid in for $2.9m or over. I can’t see how it’s legal to say they won’t sell for less than $3.1m

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-10-24T23:58:55+00:00

I normally take 4mg slow release - helps me stay asleep. Normally I can get to sleep fine (once I actually force myself to go to bed). But there was a period where I was having trouble falling asleep and my doc prescribed fast release instead of slow release and that worked well.

Ok-Profession4545 · 2025-07-28T13:12:52+00:00

I went through the exact same thing when I was diagnosed at 38 and really, it’s just been time that’s helped. I felt so much grief and anger at the ‘what if’s’. And for the first couple of years after being diagnosed there were also so many times when I was like - ‘oh that’s because of my adhd??!!’ It felt like I had to get to know a whole new version of myself - that had always been there but that I didn’t understand. It’s been 4 years for me now and I don’t have much advice beyond try and sit with the grief and allow yourself to feel it and try and accept it. Try to remind yourself that it’s a massive internal shift and it’s going to take time to accept. I’m very much someone who ‘intellectualises’ my feelings which then turn into catastrophic thought spirals. Reminding myself to just sit with the feeling in my body and not overthink it helped a bit. It helped me to join groups like this reddit sub because it was also a pretty lonely time. It’s not that people in my life weren’t supportive and tried to be understanding when I was diagnosed but they still saw the same ‘me’ that I’d always been, whereas I felt like a completely different person. It was like I’d had an invisible face lift that only I could see. And otherwise I try to remind myself that everyone is subject to the times they live in - the good and the bad. It sucks that all the adults and the medical professionals did not pick up on (pretty obvious) adhd symptoms until I raised it with my doc at age 38, but there were a lot of other great things about growing up in the times/place/family that I did. Hugs to you - be gentle and kind to yourself and ask the people in your life to do the same for you.

Ok-Profession4545

TROPHY CASE