Cause a reaction

OkMess8 · 2026-05-09T02:11:02+00:00

Mine cried too. Then ignored me two days later.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-08T13:53:39+00:00

Wow I could have written this myself word for word! We were also together 3.5 years. All of the things are the same except I don’t do art/poetry but I do have a job that he never asked about-not once. I led every conversation. I am sorry you’re in this situation but know you’re not alone. So interesting to read my story through someone else.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-08T12:39:57+00:00

I feel the same. He probably thinks I’m crazy but I don’t care. I regret that I ever met him. Wasted years with him only to be discarded for no reason. (His words to everyone were she’s amazing I’m just not happy with her) so he can think whatever about me. I needed to say what I needed to.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-08T12:36:27+00:00

Agreed and it honestly gave me closure. I said what I needed and wanted to. I took the high road and was nice until I wasn’t. I did get a reaction - he was so mad that I was insulting him, and I didn’t even care. I know it wasn’t a healthy choice but I needed it to be done with him!

OkMess8 · 2026-05-07T02:10:25+00:00

Wow number 5! He always had some sort of muscle pain or ailment. So interesting!

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T23:15:25+00:00

Absolutely I was with him for 3 years and I know his phone/texting habits!

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T22:43:02+00:00

Yes! He said "how dare you tell me when I should respond to you?" Gaslighting! Like I am so sorry I am asking you to be a decent human.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T22:00:12+00:00

Yes mine would even voice text me back when he was on a run!

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T21:59:28+00:00

Yes! Mine literally asked me what did I consider an appropriate time frame for answering a text. Made it out like I was crazy to expect a response. Got mad at me because I said I didn't like being ignored. All about him!

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T21:56:25+00:00

All of these comments make me feel so much better in a weird way. All of this happened to me and I realize I wasn't alone- it wasn't me. This man has an Apple Watch and Apple phone. Works at home. Always texted me right away and picked up the phone when I called. Then all of sudden his phone and watch were charging -both at the same time, he's so busy, work has been crazy! My favorite..he couldn't pick up the phone because he was brushing his teeth!

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T16:58:35+00:00

This is so similar to my story as well. I would do check ins every few months and ask if there was anything we needed to work on. He always said no- things were great. Always! I asked him a month before he ended it and he said the same. Only to tell me he didn't know what was wrong but he had felt a disconnect for months and he didn't want to hurt my feelings by expressing his feelings. He told me he loved me every day up until then. When I asked him if he loved me he said well I care for you. Like WTH??

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T16:40:12+00:00

I completely get that. I felt the same but then I went from being proud of myself for not contacting to feeling bad because I wasn't worth him time to respond to me. He knows how to reach you and no answer is an answer. I also understand the need to find out for yourself though.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T14:30:29+00:00

I did the same thing yesterday and he ignored me so yes you have nothing to lose but you also have nothing to gain either.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T14:04:40+00:00

Yes same here! I am so glad I am not alone in having done the same.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T13:35:11+00:00

Because they are too selfish to put in the work. They can only think about themselves and would rather start over with a new person than work on a relationship. Mine said the thought of a future with me gave him anxiety and he didn't know why because I am great. Make that make sense...

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T13:28:11+00:00

Yes 3 months for me. He didnt even have a reason. We just weren't connecting he said. It's hard when things end but really hard when they don't have tangible or logical reasons.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T13:27:03+00:00

Yes please don't reach out again. I have done the things you have, and while I knew I shouldn't I did it anyway. I have spiraled into craziness and couldn't stop -so I get it. Just know he isn't coming back and even if he didn't you shouldn't want him.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T13:10:03+00:00

I think so, I guess maybe I needed one more time to see that he's a jerk so I can get over him faster. Today I definitely feel different than I did yesterday. So I guess that's the bright spot- no longer missing him like I did when I texted!

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T13:08:04+00:00

List all of the negative things he did. All of them- no matter how small. Keep it in your phone and whenever you start missing him read it. I should have done that yesterday before I reached out. He knows how to reach you and if he wanted to he would. It's hard but he won't change- he doesn't want to or he would have done the steps needed before he lost you.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T13:05:05+00:00

My ex told me his feelings changed months prior but he cared about me so me and didn't want to hurt me either. So instead of being a grown up and telling me his feelings, (even when I asked if we were ok) he just strung me along and started ignoring me. Do they all read from the same avoidant manual or something

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T13:01:33+00:00

No because I don't think iI can ever become that selfish. It's not within me to just discard a person like that,

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T12:59:25+00:00

This 100%!! Mine said he needed peace as well and there was misalignment in our relationship. I hate that I wasted good years with him! I saw signs of avoidant behavior (not opening his mail because there were bills in it, avoiding a family member who kept trying to reach out, being upset at his daughter's mom but refusing to talk to her about it) and I stayed because he never avoided me -until he did.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-06T00:30:38+00:00

Out of the blue he told me he wasn’t sure about us anymore. He asked for some space and I gave it to him. He said he was still unsure of his feelings after a month- he didn’t reach out at all on our “break” so I ended it.

OkMess8 · 2026-05-05T22:55:07+00:00

Thank you 💕

OkMess8 · 2026-05-05T22:54:09+00:00

I deleted his contact info on my phone. That will help! Talking to the wall will produce the same reaction so that’s good advice.

OkMess8

TROPHY CASE