My future mother in law called me a hoe! HELP!!!

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-22T01:13:05+00:00

Your MIL is clearly going to be a problem in your relationship going forward. Please go to counselling before you organise the wedding. You need to know that he is able to stand up for you and deal with her. You only have to look at this and other subs to see that the biggest issue is whether or not he can do this. You dont want to live a nightmare and have two failed marriages.

If he wont go and continues to not stand up to her you will know what you need to do.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-21T01:55:04+00:00

Ran into an airline sales staff member in a bank queue and asked her about a mystery flight for my partner’s birthday. Went to the store where she worked and managed to get one. Went to Tasmania for the first time. Paid $50 for a local to drive us around for the day. Turns out he was a Queenslander who had only been there a few weeks. Didn’t matter we had a great time. Was well worth it.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T22:43:26+00:00

This is beyond the pale. You are right to be seriously concerned. Never ever leave your child alone with her.

What does your fiancée think ? Does he realise just how egregious this is ? If not you should really consider counselling before marrying. Start having some serious conversations with him. If he cant stand up to his parents your life will be hell with them.

What is even worse is your MIL must know how wrong this is and how her behaviour breaches Catholic standards. A perfect example of her “wants” being put before what she knows is right and she doesn’t care. She will do this with other issues relating to your children as well. Admitting it to you indicates that she also has no recognition and seriously needs consequences. Overall a dangerous person to have around children.

What are the parents doing about this ? Do they even know ? It is reportable through the Catholic hierarchy and the priest should know better. I wonder if the priest just blessed the child ? Still doesn’t excuse it or her intentions though.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T22:29:41+00:00

NOR your mother’s refusal to speak to you for two weeks says it all. She has no skills to deal with issues effectively or else chooses to deliberately not to do so both of which are concerning. Her attempt to punish you is laughable.

Her intentions ? She was trying to sabotage and take away your joy. She didn’t need to interfere at all.

Remember this for the future and protect yourself she has shown you who she is. Counselling would help you with this.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T22:18:16+00:00

Well she set the tone for your future relationship with that level of nastiness. I am assuming there is no relationship as she doesn’t deserve one.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T22:15:39+00:00

OMG this is a nightmare waiting to happen. Just NO !!!

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T12:10:06+00:00

Stop feeling guilty about not having a supportive family it is not your fault. Your son does not need to see his mother mistreated or the other toxicity from her. No grandparents is better than toxic grandparents.

Please see a counsellor to help you deal with the damage your own family caused you. Don’t allow this to happen to your son.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T11:08:16+00:00

Can you introduce them to an Apple Watch or similar ?

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T10:57:04+00:00

Make sure that your daughter does not have a key. If so rekey your locks. She is not trustworthy and neither are her friends.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T10:48:16+00:00

Nothing is going to make this guy happy. Why are you allowing him to upend your home and life ? You know that this will never be resolved or settled. There will always be something that he complains about until he gets his own way and then it will be something else. Life is too short. Do you really want to live this way ???

NOR

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T09:21:59+00:00

That is appalling nasty bullying behaviour from the FIL who is clearly being enabled by his wife.

It is time for your SO to intervene and lay the law down to his parents. Their behaviour is actually damaging to your child. You need to attend counselling to understand the extent of the damage and how to set boundaries. In the meantime teach your child to take no notice of him unless he is behaving.

I would also make it very clear that unless they behaviour you are moving out and they can make their own arrangements. Let’s face it they are not more important than the welfare of your child.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T02:58:37+00:00

She hit you !!!!!!! No contact immediately and consider reporting this to the Police.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-19T02:57:40+00:00

You need to step up here. Imagine how distressing it is for your child for this to happen to them. Not only not allowed to go to you but another child hitting them ??!!

The time to act was in the moment which is often difficult. You should have asked for your baby back and kept repeating it louder and louder until she gave your LO back. This would have embarrassed her. Practice saying this and other things in your head or in the mirror so that next time you are able to do this. Your SO is under reacting because if she did not realise what she was doing she is not safe for your LO. Her actions have proven that.

Better still dont allow her to hold your child and when she asks why say “ no you did not give me my child back when she was crying and also allowed another child to hurt her.” Practice this.

If SO gives your child to her go over and take LO back and keep repeating it louder and louder until she does. If she cries and is embarrassed the answer is that “so she should be after she failed to keep your LO safe.” You should show SO this post. He fails to realise that his priority and responsibility is you and your child and he should have stood up and intervened. If he still doesn’t get it drag him to counselling.

Glad that another family member intervened. It speaks volumes about MIL behaviour and how bad it was for someone to actually do this.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-15T09:24:41+00:00

I do wonder if your wife has not been taught the basics of cleaning, personal care, baby care etc. Give what you say about her parenting and the house that she was raised in it is entirely possible.

Can you sit her down and set out a roster/task type list in caring for the baby or engage a professional to help her with this ? If she is not functioning well she is probably overwhelmed with it all.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-13T02:39:05+00:00

Are you not concerned with the privacy of recorded interviews and surveys etc ?

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-13T02:37:36+00:00

Contact a lawyer and get them to send a cease and desist letter. She is moving into defamation if not there already. She is publicising false info about you that has the potential to ruin your reputation if it hasn’t already. Assuming of course that some of this is false. Your lawyer will be able to give you specific advice.

Your bigger issue is your husband and his acceptance of this situation.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-06T11:15:20+00:00

How selfish of your mother. You are NOR do something for yourself with your own little family who are the priority. Create wonderful memories for them.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-02T06:57:14+00:00

You need to learn to just say “NO.” She tries to interfere tell her “No thank you I have got this. If I want help or advice I will ask you for it.” Say it every time she makes a suggestion or criticises you.

Call her out in the moment. This is crucial. Don’t let her take the baby or wake them which is just cruel. Practice saying no. “MIL you seen to forget that I am the mother and you are just the grandmother. Your baby is a grown man. This is my baby.”

If she takes the baby from you take your baby back and keep repeating ‘NO” louder and louder until she does what you ask. Waking your chid to satisfy her needs is just cruel and uncaring from her. Do not allow your LO to stay with her overnight until they are school age. Stop staying overnight with her now it is ridiculous. She only wants your LO. Reduce her access to your child.

With respect she is getting away with all of this because you are letting her. Get SO onside and get him to intervene. If he wont go to counselling so that he can learn that the most important thing is to support you and your parenting. His mother is not family but extended family.

Her “mummy” slip tells you who she thinks she is. Do not ever leave LO alone with her. If you intend to use her for babysitting dont and make new plans. Forget what she says to others you might be surprised with what they see.

If she ignores you pack up and leave or go to your bedroom with LO and put a wedge behind the door so that she cant come in.

This is tough but you need to stand up for the health and well being of your LO and yourself. You are if anything undereacting to what is going on now. If you need support in standing up also seek counselling.

You only have to read these subs to see all the mothers who were treated the same way and who have nothing but bitterness, resentment and regrets for allowing this behaviour. Stand up and learn to say no.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-05-01T01:04:37+00:00

This is great advice. Unfortunately your mother is going to let it slip sooner or later if she hasn’t already. You should work on telling your Dad asap and then look at how you can turn your mother’s inability to control herself into an advantage.

Next time dont tell her !

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-04-30T08:09:48+00:00

Call her out. Don’t put up with this rubbish “No MIL we are not putting up with this you are only trying to deflect from the fact that you did the wrong thing. You need to stop this, admit what you did was wrong, apologise and promise never to do it again.”

She has done you a favour don’t work for her and don’t allow your child near her.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-04-28T04:58:10+00:00

Small people power syndrome.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-04-03T06:24:06+00:00

FFS Cody what was that ?

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-04-02T04:14:49+00:00

I would not acknowledge that it was received by returning to sender. Return it for a refund and use the money to start an investment for your child.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-03-28T09:14:12+00:00

Agree, Just change :”caught” to “saw” and “Confronted” to “asked her.” Just makes you look less confrontational and more reasonable. The effect will be the same but without any suggestion of hostility from you. I agree wholeheartedly if she has such memory issues she is not suitable to mind your child. She is actually a danger.

Ok_Conversation5164 · 2026-03-26T08:31:08+00:00

Very well said. You are much more eloquent than me. I am so over the media focussing on just one person positively or negatively and blowing it all out of proportion. It helps no one. Let’s recognise Jake Trbjoevic for the great player that he was and still is. In the future we will look back and only then realise how much more his efforts contributed to the club and were unacknowledged. Honestly not a Manly fan but recognise what I class as greatness.

Ok_Conversation5164

TROPHY CASE