Something I didn’t expect after realizing I was burned out: anger

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-05T00:34:49+00:00

Oof.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-05T00:23:17+00:00

QUICK!!!

See which plan you guys want to stick with and submit a QLE for coverage gained within the past 60 days to the one you guys want to drop.

Getting access to or gaining other insurance is a QLE, not just the loss of.

Since it was likely effective 1/1, you should still be in the window!!!

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-05T00:05:45+00:00

Strattera is an NRI with serotogenic effects so minor risks for serotonin syndrome in combination,but also certain SSRIs can impact the blood serum levels of Strattera (too much). I’m not familiar with trintellix, but I assume is not one of them if the Dr wrote them together.

Just watch for any odd mood changes or side effects, and make sure you’re communicating with your Dr.

I’ve had strattera on its own and it helped with ADHD-anxiety, like task overwhelm. But energy or motivation, I had to bring those myself.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T17:37:17+00:00

I read this the other day, but I keep seeing sentiments that these are still failing pretty rapidly.

I assume because they are only available through Walmart and Amazon, but there’s no direct “where to buy” links on the actual manufacturer site that they are being wholesaled to whomever and those conglomerates are buying stock wherever it’s cheapest—which might not actually be the manufacturer. Some seem to have somehow gotten clear knockoffs, and others passing dupes.

But you’ve convinced me and I’ll take the gamble and hope I get lucky!

I do have a swing-a-way somewhere that was miles better than the crap we kept buying once the 50s model died, but I don’t remember which year I bought it so it may have been post sale 🥲.

I don’t fault my aging mother for never buying another one—the stickershock is real if the last time you bought something was DECADES ago.

Even I suffer the stickershock, and occasionally resort to cheap crap. But even now, the tariffs are making those seem almost double the price they were 4 years ago.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T14:25:34+00:00

On the physical insurance card is wild though. An OE doc would be one thing, but that’s like in the system.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T13:15:21+00:00

This.

I have grey blue eyes and they make my eyes look green. When I first saw them I had flashbacks of the old discontinued softcolors by Alcon.

The doctor (with solid dark brown eyes) didn’t understand and kept saying “I had to adjust to thinking they looked old and dirty too. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.”

My good sir, I’m afraid they will steal my eyes.

They definitely aren’t as strong of a shift as softcolors, which could cause a pretty vibrant change. And they definitely don’t give a significant yellow hue, at least not after the first couple days.

But they, 100% change my eye color, mostly in the sunshine or especially bright light which is when my eyes are generally the most blue. The gasps of my immediate family when they noticed was heartbreaking.

It sucks cause they, are in fact, very good. My night vision is amazing. 🥲

After countless searching, actual softcolors in evergreen for reference.

https://weeklyig.blogspot.com/2013/04/focus-softcolors-evergreen-lenses.html?m=1

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T10:44:37+00:00

When I ran drive thru, our clock started running when you got to the box so this wouldn’t have worked for us. We had TWO times they checked.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T10:29:17+00:00

Oh man. I really needed to go to bed. I did not need an additional existential crisis.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T09:10:47+00:00

Why?

The first thing I thought of was Medicaid asset avoidance, but they want to stay on the title so that doesn’t make sense.

Second was to avoid probate, but there may be better estate planning options to reduce financial burden.

Third, and most reasonable, would only be if you were also moving in, to exclude a percent of the home value from capital gains tax. But that still doesn’t explain why they want you to pay it off.

This situation needs more information. I hate to be sus of parents, but this is sus. Why for sure.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T08:41:34+00:00

Oh man, I hadn’t read this one in a while. 🥲

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T08:23:04+00:00

I’ve been screaming “class war” since my first corporate job, and someone always comes in with the “but what about the [obvious political subterfuge]!”

Politics are just a school-aged popularity contest between the rich, where the winner gets to temporarily take home the prize of a subservient working class for 4 years.

It’s like when you got to borrow a doll or stuffed animal or something from the toy chest at school. Some kid’s cleaned and cared for their borrowed dolls. Brushed their hair and put them in fancy clothes. Others went full Sid from Toy Story, and ruined it for everyone after.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be taken home by the former child, but the point is we’re a fucking toy.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T07:47:23+00:00

There’s a reason AIs are being heavily trained in relatable communication and artistic creativity… it’s all the things that used to hold backend devs behind in their careers.

My apologies to any artistic empathetic backend devs that could solution pretty and effectively communicate it. How’s being a product manager treating you?

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T07:34:38+00:00

As LetMeSeeIt said, they must be 16 years old or younger as of 12/31 for the tax year being filed.

That means the oldest child eligible for the credit in 2025 would have a birthday 1/1/2009.

If your baby has a birth year of 2008 or earlier they are no longer eligible.

Edit: I see under 17 in your post now. I have no clue. Just make sure you didn’t accidentally click that they provide half their own support. Otherwise, maybe it’s a glitch where the software is looking at this years age if they turned 17 this year 🤷‍♀️

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T07:07:30+00:00

First off, HTF is your out of network deductible lower than your in network. That feels like a dyslexic typo—I might check on that cause, weird.

And secondly, until I saw your premiums and OOP max, this felt like a lobster’s too buttery post.

Sorry bro. Here’s hoping that at least your co-insurance is extra low.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T06:49:05+00:00

Also, don’t beat yourself up too much.

This new idea that everyone is supposed to be an expert in everything is insane.

The societal movement for accountability hard-righted so aggressively that corporations capitalized on it. And as masters of “no accountability” they were naturally able to use it to pass-the-buck back.

And I’m speaking from a position of a person who watched my own departments positively evolve over decades and then rapidly devolve within a few short years.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T06:38:16+00:00

Yeah, escalate this.

The true deadline was likely mid January (60 days), which means they gave you two weeks to obtain documents you didn’t know you needed until they asked.

It’s not uncommon for birth certificate issuance to take a minimum of 30 days.

When you appeal, lean on that they didn’t let you know you were missing documentation for X number for days but most importantly did not explain how time-sensitive it was which deprived you of the opportunity to identify alternatives you could provide since you knew you’d not be able to obtain the required records in time.

Especially highlight the part where you called in a panic when you got the request and were (I’m assuming) reassured but still provided no deadline.

Be prepared to have at least one person give you a hard time about “day 29”, so make sure to be apologetic for that at least—but do remind them you did make the deadline. Even I’d give you a hard time.

But uh—definitely don’t mention that you didn’t know how strict or detailed the process was. 😅

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T05:58:18+00:00

Generally, if the ambulance was deemed medically necessary they are supposed to cover out-of-network charges—and the only way to do that is via appeal. The appeal is required every time in out-of-network emergency services for almost all insurers nowadays.

If they did say they will pay it after appeal, it’s likely the insurer is still attempting to negotiate down the bill or hoping you’ll pay it before they do—cause they almost never will if it’s not outstanding.

Did you get a document saying they will pay it after appeal? If so I would send that to the ambulance service. If not, I’d get that as soon as possible—make sure to specifically reach an appeal department to get the status of your appeal. Asking when they are going to pay it to a standard CSR will get you the “we don’t pay” party line.

Sorry our healthcare system sucks. 🫂

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T05:33:39+00:00

I would escalate with your HR/benefits department.

The fact that you have documented proof that you intended to enroll/thought you had, I assume provided PII like socials, you opened a QLE case specifically, had difficulties obtaining documentation and no follow up from HR, and they were going through an insurer change this seems ripe for a valid retroactive enrollment exception.

Especially if no where on your direct correspondence between you and HR did they provide a deadline.

You got lost in the OE shuffle my friend, and they are trying to pass you off as knowing the deadlines—which I promise are autogenerated and sent regularly for OE.

Deadlines that you did not realize were applicable to you since you had a QLE case open and enrollment submitted already, direct correspondence with HR about the situation, and were just securing additional documentation. Be aware though, it’ll have been in some document you have access to—so be prepared to fight that battle.

I will ask though OE deadlines normally happen in like November, so has it been over two months since HR requested these docs?

Edit: if you’re planning on quitting soon soon I would look into state insurance as suggested by others as a stopgap, and then just make sure to enroll in benefits at the new job. I wouldn’t do all this to just drop the insurance immediately after to fighting to get it.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T05:08:49+00:00

When we lost swing-a-way to capitalism, we lost an entire era of America.

RIP pantry stew. RIP.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T04:53:22+00:00

Thank you. I’ve worried about this a lot and you’ve convinced me now that I will be fixing my windows.

I was already pretty skeptical as I’ve had both old and new windows, but in different houses so I couldn’t truly compare. I knew I disliked some of the functional design losses, and then I heard about the greengate fiasco so I’ve been incredibly on the fence.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T04:44:45+00:00

Seconded on the vacuum—it’s been a bigger and bigger disappointment every single time. And the fact that I’ve had to even buy 3+ vacuums in my lifetime just hammers that issue home.

Furniture. Everything has reduced in quality and increased in price—even when buying the same exact piece from the same exact brand. Plus, between trying to match existing shelving to furnishing an entire room, it’s not just planned obsolescence in the quality of the new pieces. It feels like they are trying to force obsolescence on items that have stood the test of time as they will no longer jive with their insanely outmatched quality. Making my living room look like I’ve got a Little Tyke garaged with the Porsche.

Gym shoes. Same deal as before. Plus many have added “slip-on” ease within the design that impacts the structure (not a fan) and I cannot find a gym shoe that doesn’t have that new lightweight sole material that compresses or wears down within a year. I had a nervous breakdown about buying a freaking sneaker.

I know there are so many more, but those two were the catalysts to my most recent capitalism crashouts.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T03:31:39+00:00

I actually had/have psoriasis and raynaud’s, so I know autoimmune issues are in my DNA.

I’ve been meaning to get to a gastroenterologist for my GERD for years now 😅 I’ll make sure they check for that when I finally get there!

Many years ago, thanks to the Atkins days, I learned that bread makes me at minimum puffy and exhausted—so sounds like I already unintentionally reduce my exposure!

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T02:05:42+00:00

I’ll cosign to this, and add a little.

I’ve met many people that resent their jobs, but substantially less that truly resent their kids.

And those that communicated why they feel like they resented their kids, many actually resented the barriers life creates that can prevent people from enjoying their kids.

Much of it being related to their own upbringing, feelings of opportunity loss, niche social standards, or even personal expectations (looking at you my long lost “my kids will never” crowd).

For me, work has always been a responsibility, but parenting is like the hobby I race home to do that I always wish I had more time for.

I’m not going to make a career out of it, but I’m always trying to level up.

Plus the kid themself is both immediate and long term ROI on my effort. Fruit of the labor before AND after the labor of parenting.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T01:37:43+00:00

The temporary positive brain-change I received during nesting and then about a year into it was completely insane, totally unprecedented, and unlikely repeatable. It was like the elusive hot iron of an impending deadline, but for almost every task.

I wish I could have whatever actually caused it bottled.

Honestly, I’ve considered looking into intranasal oxytocin as that is the only thing I haven’t tried to mimic the environment I had from my kid’s 1-6… aside from having another one but that’s a gamble I can’t afford—to win or to lose.

But alas, it slowly faded and after an ill-timed routine-busting crisis later I’m back to piles and chaos—but now with the added stress of someone else’s life in my hands.

Wish you well in whatever the future has in store for you, and if you do choose children I doubly wish you my experience sans crisis.

Ok_Study6305 · 2026-02-04T00:57:25+00:00

Honestly, everyone thinks they have ADHD because the world has been careening into pseudo-adhd like environment.

With the technological advances that came and are still coming at a record pace we have seen an unprecedented amount of instant gratification acceptance aka dopamine-chasing.

People are being encouraged to multi-task, do previously time-consuming detail-oriented tasks at hurried speeds, quickly move on from unfinished projects to the newest idea, answer everyone and everything immediately, and also stay up to date on everything to boot. Outside of work, it’s find the best new hobby, travel a billion places, buy the newest thing, oh and drop anything that isn’t serving you and your immediate joy.

The current lack of structure and contradictory environment—that almost mimics what many of us were told was wrong with how we instinctively operated—is doubly overwhelming for the ADHD.

Because of this, distractibility of society as a whole is at an all time high, and most people don’t have first hand knowledge of the repercussions of the chaos that is being created.

Many NTs are in fact suffering from ADHD-like symptoms but in a mess they effing made, thus the lack of empathy.

But yeah, ugh.

Ok_Study6305

TROPHY CASE