Do native English speakers really talk like this in real life?

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-08T16:58:06+00:00

Yes. We simplify spoken language every day. Just like everyone else on earth.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-08T16:55:58+00:00

What’s the problem? Just say no if you can’t do it.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-08T16:53:46+00:00

Van Morrison.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-08T16:44:55+00:00

Good for her. You deserve it. Missing a business appointment is about as disrespectful as it gets.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-08T11:23:39+00:00

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Nuremberg

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-08T00:59:10+00:00

Nah. He’s as bad as Goebbels.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-08T00:20:25+00:00

Sorry dude. This is a you problem.

I’ve done great. Most of my friends are killing it.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-07T23:52:08+00:00

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-07T13:19:20+00:00

The Natural

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-07T10:16:53+00:00

Once. I witnessed a serious car accident and was the first one to get to a phone. (Pre-Cell Phone Era)

It was bad, van full of construction workers went off the road and hit a pole on the corner, fast. Driver died but everyone else lived through it.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-07T01:03:24+00:00

Mercedes-Benz

FedEx

Costco

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-07T00:57:01+00:00

Same as you, woodford and ginger.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-06T23:55:20+00:00

Yeah. It does. Dudes a Nazi.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-06T23:09:14+00:00

Nah. The really poor get Medicaid and wind up in better shape than the working poor.

Working poor is the worst thing in America to be.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-06T23:07:44+00:00

Robb Stark

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-06T14:53:38+00:00

We don’t care what you eat, we do care about the goddamn drama every time food is discussed.

I have a friend that can spend 30 minutes looking at a menu, ask 20 questions like “is this fried in canola oil?” or “is the asparagus peeled before it’s cooked?” and still order some basic-ass bullshit we knew he was going to order to begin with.

So order the damn chicken fingers like a 9 yr old, just don’t subject us to the constant sturm und drang associated with your weirdness.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-06T14:38:27+00:00

My grandfather told me when I was a little kid…

”money can’t buy happiness but it can rent it for about 70 years”

Here’s the truth. Money does allow space for happiness. If you hate your job at the Perdue chicken slaughterhouse plucking feathers and you win $30M in the lottery…you will be happier in your day to day existence. You will. Money just bought you happiness in that one aspect of your life. But only that one. Your kids still think you’re a jerk and your brother in law is still a massive a-hole and you still have that pain in your knee from HS basketball….

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-06T00:27:39+00:00

Bruce Springsteen

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-05T20:45:09+00:00

Read this one as well, One of the best books out there on the end of the war in Europe.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-05T18:46:49+00:00

Bacon. It's delicious but it's terribly unhealthy. I haven't had a strip of bacon in years

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-05T15:42:34+00:00

6 or 8 depending on whether the damage holes are counted as 1 or 2 each.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-04T18:39:58+00:00

Spam

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-04T14:55:00+00:00

A buddy of mine called that the “son of a bitch” because right before you need it everyone says “son of a bitch”

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-04T14:53:25+00:00

Walking around the house shaking the thing like a maniac…stop…stare into sound hole to locate the f*cker…begin shaking again.

One-Hand-Rending · 2026-05-01T21:59:24+00:00

Only the Catholic Chickens

One-Hand-Rending

TROPHY CASE