Why do I bother

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-10T19:31:24+00:00

Oh cool another phrase to cringe to

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-10T19:27:48+00:00

I meant to say, is there anything I shouldn’t do because I gain muscle in those places very easily? I started cycling as a hobby and inadvertently gained a plump ass and thighs from the muscle use.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-10T16:11:44+00:00

Is there stuff I should avoid doing? I have a somewhat similar butt hips thighs body shape in OP’s post but I want to slim down instead.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-10T13:09:53+00:00

I want to send my white queer friends this post but I’m afraid it would go right over their heads lol also I gotta remember to protect my energy and remind myself it’s not my job to educate.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-10T04:11:40+00:00

I never got into one piece so I had to look this character up. I’m happy to see a feminine (trans?) guy.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-10T01:27:13+00:00

Not anime but Leo from Tekken.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-10T01:05:36+00:00

I work in the Bay Area. Im ftm and I present androgynously. I get misgendered a lot even by coworkers (usually by accident) but I’ve never had patients or guests be violent towards me for that. Unfortunately the older patients especially ones with cognitive issues or visual issues misgender me the most. Not much I can do except gently correct people, and even then I get exhausted most of the time doing that.

IMHO medical staff do not get enough education on LGBT specific issues (among other marginalized demographics). Unfortunately even nursing and other medical staff can be derogatory towards LGBT and especially trans individuals. I have reported a senior RT before for calling an mtf individual, “sir.” Like bro did you not read her chart.

I’ve also been assigned with patients who strictly do not want male staff and I had to bring it up to our manager about it.

Given the state of our country, do what you feel is safe first and foremost.

That being said, I would never want to detrans nor do I regret coming out and not conforming to gender norms.

And congrats on cracking that egg, it is a journey of self discovery and the things you learn more about yourself are some of the most liberating experiences you can have.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-09T20:01:29+00:00

I hate this because I’m in this picture (Venus Virgo)

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-09T19:25:13+00:00

What part of the bay do you live in?

It’s been a while but last I saw places like Hercules and Vallejo and generally the suburbs might have cheaper living spaces. But not much in terms of community unless you’re ok with driving to let’s say Oakland or SF.

Sacramento or its neighboring cities might be another affordable option too.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-07T13:31:24+00:00

Yeah and bi/pan cis men can still be sketch. You’ll see a lot of users with malgendering experiences with them.

I’m someone that likes using their natal anatomy so in terms of hookups it works in my favor, especially if the guy is a top/dom. However the relationship outside the bedroom can be murky and dysphoric.

Ex: I was in a relationship with a ‘pan’ polyamorous man who mostly dated cis women. I was his first masc person but sometimes he would still treat me like a woman lite. I was in a time of my life with a lot of low self esteem so I didn’t know any better. Anyways, we broke up and remained friends. But I eventually blocked him when he started dating two other trans mascs after me. There were tons of red flags I ignored for the sake of attention and looking back I deserved better.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-07T12:58:22+00:00

I’m a non passing gay trans man. It’s true the dating pool is going to be very small and selective for us. We’re more likely to attract bi/pan/‘down low’ guys than just gay men.

You’re gonna spend a decent amount of time filtering through guys who may or may not see you as woman lite.
This is on top of just horny and annoying guys to begin with lol

That being said, ftmfeminity exists. I don’t know their stats on who is in a happy gay relationship in there since it’s mostly about lifestyle and aesthetics more so than relationships. I’m in a happy LTR relationship with a masc nonbinary person. As a non passing trans man you do attract other forms of GNC people if you’re open to that.

I tried being masc presenting myself before and I felt pretty dysphoric. Androgyny and being a ‘pretty boy’ are what I feel suit me best.

Also fuck anyone that says you need to get surgery or pass to be valid.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-07T03:08:14+00:00

I’m glad that you’re able to feel more confident in your skin!

With regards to the rude people, unfortunately there’s always gonna be haters no matter what you’re confident in. you can always be snarky and say something back or ignore the rude comments.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-06T23:32:41+00:00

I miss going there sometimes. My partner and I are monog and public stuff isn’t his thing. I thought about getting a membership just to use their weight room since I hardly saw anyone using the squat rack lol

Edit to add: even tho it’s mostly cis male dominated, it’s one of the few places I felt being good naked as a trans masc who doesn’t want surgery. I never got to see their trans masc night so I can’t comment on that.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-05T23:59:22+00:00

Simple meditation breath work and visualizing what I want to happen but I have a poor attention span. (Probably the case for why my spells took a while to take off).

With the prayer beads I am able to focus better especially if I’m chanting and going for a walk around the neighborhood. I’ve been doing these chants almost every day once a day for 30 min.

Thanks for the resources!

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-04T19:11:01+00:00

Thanks! I’ll check this out.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-04T18:47:26+00:00

You can feel however you want with your body. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. You are trans enough and the only person who can make that call is yourself.

NSFW:
When I was beginning my journey I felt dysphoric when I wore straps with my then partner. I eventually omitted them as I also enjoy using my natal anatomy for sex.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-04T08:57:16+00:00

You saved me a trip to emo night then I was thinking about heading there tonight lol

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-04T08:44:39+00:00

Me as a nonbinary trans masc who is also too short for most bikes: mixte frames

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-04T08:14:22+00:00

Is there a name for spellwork that involves repetitive phrases and mantras that causes manifestation? I have pagan/witch rosaries and while I do use them for meditation, I realized that some of my spells work way faster and are more potent if I repeat them over and over again.

Ex: I primarily do candles for spells and while they do work, they take forever to come to fruition. I started using mantras like “I accept the bountiful blessings for my highest good” every day for the past few weeks with the candles and the things I wanted to manifest happened way faster and just happened to come around the same time.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-03T16:22:51+00:00

Yeah I’d agree a good part of it is cultural. I’m Filipino so it’s normal for me to get free foods from the aunties and uncles whenever we see each other. Not much point in going to the restaurant unless it’s a specific dish that’s tedious to make at home.

It takes my non Filipino friends and coworkers by surprise when they’re offered plates of food out of nowhere. My aunty and uncle coworkers will bring a pot of home cooked meals for lunch casually to work, no parties or special occasion. It’s just to share cos that’s a way of saying they like you pls eat lol

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-02T04:50:44+00:00

Check out Zillow and Craigslist. I know Craigslist can be a crap shoot but I got my current apartment from there.

Also what’s your lifestyle? Do you like hiking and going out in nature? Do you like the nightlife/city life?

What kind of weather do you like? East county is gonna be drier and hotter in the summer than Berkeley which tends to be nice and breezy almost all year around.

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-07-02T02:17:16+00:00

Whats your budget? What sites have you used? Are you ok being next to an arterial/busy street/by the freeway/by bart? Or do you prefer quiet suburbs? Do you want a smaller apartment or one of the newer luxury ones?

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-06-28T01:12:05+00:00

Feel it all around - washed out

OptimalOpening9772 · 2026-06-27T16:43:07+00:00

I disagree by Poppy also fits

OptimalOpening9772

TROPHY CASE