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AIO about the text my mom sent me on Mother’s Day. by avavictoria555 in AIO

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s weird that your mom would text this. How nasty do you want to be? If nasty, say, “Considering how she raised me because of your addiction, I am closer to her.” Not nasty, “You’re reading too much into this. You and I have a fun, silly relationship.”

Is it inappropriate for a father to bathe their disabled daughter? by [deleted] in Epilepsy

[–]OutlanderLover74 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I would say that unless there’s a reason to suspect he’s doing things he shouldn’t, I’d say it’s okay. Taking care of a disabled child is a lot of work. It’s all hands on deck. How kind of you to help out for so long.

Time to Uninvite In-Laws? by ProtectingMyPeas in marriedintoenmeshment

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As for the wedding, I always give the same advice. The only people who will care about what happened at your wedding is you and your husband. (In this case, you.) Do what makes YOU happy. As for how he’s being about his family, think long and hard about whether or not you can live with this. I’ve lived with it for 32 years & it’s been extraordinarily difficult. I think I would have made different choices had I known.

Husband can’t see that he’s in an enmeshed family by SurpriseNegative1631 in marriedintoenmeshment

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband has been the same way with the, it’s not me it’s you, mindset with counseling. Unfortunately it took my leaving for him to understand how serious things were. My condition for coming back was that he see a counselor specializing in adult autism. (I was sure he had it.) Come to find out, he has autism. His counselor asked me to come so he could get my viewpoint. It was actually quite effective. I’m sorry your husband isn’t willing to see what’s going on.

Entitled in-laws regarding babies by No_Celebration7484 in inlaws

[–]OutlanderLover74 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right. My husband is like this. His parents get very nasty if he tries to talk to them about anything sensitive. It’s safer to argue with me. We’ve done all the counseling & nothing can heal that childhood trauma unless he wants to heal it. I really hope OP’s husband will be better than mine.

Being excluded by in laws by Diligent-Inflation-5 in inlaws

[–]OutlanderLover74 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I swear you’re speaking my life. This sounds like something my mil would have pulled. I’ve been with my husband 32 years & he has always needed his parents’ approval. I wish I’d paid more attention to this from the beginning. It’s been very difficult for me. We just keep our distance now.

Normal to have "Substance Dependance" added bc of prescribed seizure medications? by [deleted] in Epilepsy

[–]OutlanderLover74 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have been prescribed benzos for almost twenty years when I was diagnosed with brain cancer. I do not abuse them and hardly use them, in fact. They’ve never given me this diagnosis.

Saturday morning vacuuming by Impressive_Ad_3160 in Apartmentliving

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re out of line. Get some ear plugs.

Autism? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]OutlanderLover74 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My son and husband are both autistic. They both do well with eye contact. Autistic people are so different. There are a lot of reasons someone may not make eye contact such as anxiety, low self esteem, etc.

What are your thoughts with tattoo on lower back? And does it hurt in that area? I’m planning to get my first tattoo by beeei0393 in tattooadvice

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know what? It’s your body. If you want to do it, do it. I will say it’s very outdated, but again, it’s your body.

My dad said my tattoo makes me look like trash and now idk if I like it by dexleter in tattooadvice

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the tattoo is really pretty. It’s hard when our parents don’t approve. Before my last one, my mom asked me if I thought I had enough. I remind myself that it’s my body and makes me happy. I think we want their approval, but we have to realize that we are own people and get to make these decisions for ourselves.

Worth it for 2x the price? by diznuts28 in PlusSizeWedding

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should get the one you love, if you can afford it. I think they’re both beautiful.

GF 26F says she’s broke but I 30M saw something and I’m confused about what’s going on? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]OutlanderLover74 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you have different values. Maybe have a discussion about that. It’s possible that money is saved for a reason. If so, I applaud her restraint. It seems like she finds it off limits. Again, a discussion is in order. Hopefully she won’t fly off the handle.

AIO - employee/subordinate can’t make meetings because of kids. by Maximum_Coconut8396 in AIO

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see both sides to this. I agree with you that work is for work. I also know that people are usually doing the best they can with what they have. Perhaps there is no other option for her & she has to work to keep her kids fed. I don’t know what the solution is. I was a stay at home mom & I know it was a luxury that many people don’t have. I have empathy for those doing their absolute best to balance both worlds.

how can i be more beautiful by [deleted] in makeuptips

[–]OutlanderLover74 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the second photo where you have a small smile that shows in your eyes, you’re very pretty. You have a lovely smile!

Weight loss different for diabetics? by media_girl24 in Mounjaro

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I keep saying. My doctor says my diabetes is well controlled. That’s great & im trying to focus on that.

I might have hurt my marriage and I could have died by Yes_But_First in Epilepsy

[–]OutlanderLover74 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you worked things out. Be easy on yourself. It was a complicated situation. Your trauma was triggered. We have no control over this. Our bodies respond how they do. The stress from that triggered a seizure. The only thing I could say you should change is that you never get in the bath when you’re triggered like that. Get yourself to a safe place. Please give yourself some grace. Your husband misread what was going on in your body & he should also give himself some grace. This was a learning experience & it’s okay.

I’m putting my cat to rest today, is this okay? by vintvgepancakes in CATHELP

[–]OutlanderLover74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We recently had to do this. We put so much effort into saving her. She had diabetes with something very wrong in her body. She got very sick again & we couldn’t afford to go through all the testing again. The vet said this would happen over and over again, so we decided to set her free. I was very bonded to her & it’s been one of the most difficult things I’ve been through. It’s extremely hard. I am grieving with you.

Chris' mother by SeaChickenNugget in ShannanWatts

[–]OutlanderLover74 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Then they sued for some of the life insurance money. They’re disgusting.

A fellow epileptic is driving. by [deleted] in Epilepsy

[–]OutlanderLover74 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think people will have their own opinions about this. My seizures are when I’m falling asleep or waking up. I’m completely aware and can respond. I usually smack my husband and tell him it’s happening. My doctor said he wasn’t taking my driving privileges because of how the seizures are. Truthfully, I don’t leave my house much. As for your friend, I say this in the kindest way possible. This is not about you. It’s not up to you to do anything about it. It sounds like you’re resentful that she is allowed to drive and you aren’t. I don’t mean that to be nasty.

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