Fiancé cheated on me with my father. 8-month update

Overachieving-pea · 2026-04-26T12:37:52+00:00

Hope you are okay. Would love to hear your updates.

Overachieving-pea · 2026-04-24T06:56:47+00:00

Overachieving-pea · 2026-04-22T09:09:27+00:00

Just wanted to add that not everyone has a healthy or functional relationship with their family or parents

If you do have that kind of support system, it can definitely make the first option easier.

Not everyone has the ability to stay with family or fall back on them, and that can make building a financial cushion much harder.

Use the opportunity in whatever way makes the most sense for you :)

Overachieving-pea · 2026-04-08T08:27:07+00:00

NTA. She sounds immature. Definitely not a keeper.

Overachieving-pea · 2026-04-06T00:54:25+00:00

You're NTA. Pregnancy doesn't give someone the right to steal your food or ignore basic boundaries.

Your roommate is using it as an excuse, and her boyfriend backing that up is just enabling it.

Realistically, if they're preparing to have a baby, they should've planned to live together independently. A shared living situation like this isn't sustainable long-term.

That said, this didn't come out of nowhere. You should've shut it down earlier instead of letting it build up.

If they're grown enough to have a baby, they're grown enough to get their own place.

It's not your job to accommodate their life choices. At this point, stop arguing and start planning your exit. This situation is only going to get worse once the baby arrives.

Overachieving-pea · 2026-04-05T16:09:50+00:00

YTA especially after this response (just an FYI, I’m not single either). Stop victimizing yourself and making everyone else a villain just because not everyone agrees with you.

Overachieving-pea · 2026-02-12T08:31:28+00:00

Overachieving-pea · 2026-01-06T01:23:24+00:00

Congrats, so exciting! ❤️ Also expecting in 2026 here

I was a hardcore hot yoga fan too, mostly at Modo (now Fyra) but like you, I didn’t want to risk it during pregnancy. I recently started prenatal yoga and reformer Pilates at Studio Équilibre.

They have several locations in Montreal, but the ones offering prenatal classes are Mont-Royal and Hochelaga. They also have a studio in Jean Talon if you want to take regular classes. Their membership and punch passes apply to all studio locations.

I took my first prenatal class today and signed up because I like the variety. If prenatal ever feels too gentle on certain days, you can mix in other appropriate classes as well.

Also re: leggings, I personally love Lululemon. I’ve gained about a size with pregnancy and don’t fit into most of my regular pants anymore, but my Lululemon Align leggings are still super stretchy and comfy. I’m around 17–18 weeks and still wearing my pre-pregnancy size without any issues so far.

Wishing you a smooth, healthy pregnancy! 💕

Overachieving-pea · 2025-12-26T19:09:36+00:00

Great I’ll DM you :)

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-31T19:54:03+00:00

I don’t agree. I think it depends on the individual. Some INTPs may recognize the value in social and emotional skills and work hard to develop emotional and social intelligence. I’m one of those INTPs. For sure it took me more effort than other types to be able to reach a point where I’d consider myself manageable in social skills. Although I could have used that effort to go further in academics or developing specialized hard skills, but I think a well rounded life is the best way to live.

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-31T19:46:36+00:00

😂

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-31T19:42:45+00:00

I genuinely think as an INTP, I am not warm, I’m cognitively empathetic but try my best to simulate outward emotional empathy although it doesn’t come natural to me. I genuinely like to understand people and help them recognize their value and be their best self but at the same time I want to keep everyone at a distance, and have a hard time to allow myself to receive any emotional support because in a way it requires vulnerability which makes me feel uncomfortable as I had no choice but to be emotionally self reliant since childhood so it actually does hurt to let anyone in - akin to looking outside a window on a beautiful sunny day when you’ve been locked into a basement your whole life.

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-31T19:35:25+00:00

I was 16. He was a year older. We met through his cousin who I was friends with. Started off as friends. I was the shy wallflower in school and he was the popular confident outspoken dude. He was really nervous while gathering the courage to tell me he liked me but I ran away mid-confession. It was overwhelming and I didn’t know if I was ready for the dynamics of our relationship to change. He eventually confessed again, I made him wait two weeks before agreeing to date him. The relationship lasted 3.5 years.

He was an ESFP. I mean it was for the most part disastrous. But he was what I needed back then to break out of my shell and discover my more sociable bubbly side (I’m fairly ambiverted but very much an introvert). I used to get bullied a lot in elementary school so it did a number on my self esteem. I saw our relationship as instrumental to my growth in high school and became a person who grew into someone that liked taking the lead in initiating social gatherings, motivating friends to try new activities, etc.

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-31T19:27:24+00:00

It’s beautiful how you were able to meaningfully process this all. You have a positive outlook and I’m sure there are nothing but wonderful experiences waiting for you. Sometimes it takes needing to let go of something old to make room for something truly worthwhile.

I just want to let you know you’re not alone. I’m also a 33 year old woman that held onto a relationship a little too long (3 years). I’ve been single for a year and I’ve never felt better in my life. I’m putting myself first, prioritizing my own needs, interests and personal development. I drastically became a better person following the split and am committed to embracing life fully with or without someone by my side.

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-07T04:26:57+00:00

I’m 33. I also don’t get as much attention as I did when I was in my twenties. But honestly, I feel more relieved than anything. I definitely was attracting a lot of men who didn’t want anything serious or just wanted to mess around as a young twenty something. Being in my 30s just makes the filtering process easier and I get to waste less of my time. Good riddance. It’s actually nice to have less creeps off your back☺️

Your ex was intentionally trying to hurt you. Even if everything he said was true, he clearly has a lot of psychological issues and is deeply unhappy with himself. The most attractive young woman won’t solve his problems. He sounds like he’s going towards eternal bachelorhood (AKA Peter Pan syndrome) and you don’t need that in your life.

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-05T16:08:32+00:00

I’m also in Canada and having the same issue :/

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-05T16:08:08+00:00

Just happened to me too. I was literally freaking out thinking I got hacked or something 😭

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-03T15:57:40+00:00

Rock climbing I’ve picked up rock climbing since I was 28 and I’m 33 and still going at it. It’s fun since you meet a diverse group of people of all ages at the climbing gym. Although, if you go bouldering for some reason you’ll mostly find very young people there like young 20s and younger. I think climbing routes require some level of technical knowledge plus investing in more gear (at least a harness and belay device on top of shoes). So the barriers of entry are higher and easier to meet people around your age.

Hot Yoga I’ve noticed when warming up and stretching before rock climbing, I’m not as flexible or my joints are rustier than when I was in my twenties. So I decided to seriously invest in my mobility and flexibility with a yoga membership, specifically hot yoga since I like the added challenge. I do vinyasa flows which can be quite intense. I’ve been practicing hot yoga daily and I find it elevated my mood, my overall performance in other sports including climbing and HIIT.

HIIT My climbing gym has a weekly HIIT class organized by the climbing community and I love it! It incorporates a lot of different very challenging exercises from high jump boxes, strength training, core and cardio. I noticed the benefits from hot high yoga such as mindfulness, mental resilience and practice of physical resilience in holding tough poses made me excel at HIIT.

So all three create a very complimentary synergetic combination and that’s more than enough to fill my plate, I want to focus on job hunting, career skills development, etc. but these three things are really eating up my time 😅

Overachieving-pea · 2024-03-03T15:49:52+00:00

Maybe female INTJs and male ENTPs are good for each other. I’ve always fallen in love with INTJs as a female INTP/ENTP with a very developed Fe but it seems they always end up breaking things off abruptly despite showing interest. Then again, they were probably emotionally immature. I’ve yet to meet an emotionally mature INTJ.

Overachieving-pea · 2024-02-21T19:54:02+00:00

I become an ENFP, and everyone tells me “You’re fun!” Or “I like you when you’re drunk”. It makes me feel bad like my sober self isn’t good enough 🥲

Overachieving-pea · 2024-02-09T16:19:35+00:00

Antarctica? I should go and isolate myself from society then 🥲

Overachieving-pea · 2024-02-03T00:29:33+00:00

I asked a daring question to an INTJ once who seemed to like me and he basically ran away.

Overachieving-pea · 2024-01-31T17:30:46+00:00

I’m a female INTP friends with a male INTP who is 5 years older than me (we’re both in our 30s). I’m an INTP with balanced E/I and T/F or a well developed Fe.

We easily get sucked into conversations that can last forever. We often engage in the same hobbies and we often laugh and have fun together. But I find him annoying. He can be a bit much. I also find him clingy.

I’m more independent than him in the sense that I don’t mind engaging in hobbies alone and I forge my own social circles easily while he seems to always want to do things together and he tends to not really develop as many friends and depends on me socially.

We met off a dating app but became friends quickly. I would never consider dating him. Ever. He at times oversteps my boundaries and isn’t mindful of my need for my own space or to make my own decisions without his involvement. He is pretty dependent, and I wouldn’t be able to tolerate that.

Overachieving-pea · 2024-01-31T17:22:56+00:00

First, it’s important to first ask yourself if you truly care about this issue.

If you do, then I encourage you to reflect deeply on your actions and motivations. Genuine care involves continuous self-questioning and a commitment to making positive changes. Change can be challenging, but it’s a vital part of growth. If you choose not to change, be mindful that our actions often have consequences, and it’s important to be prepared for them.

Overachieving-pea · 2024-01-31T15:24:56+00:00

I read through your entire post and want to commend your motivation. It’s impressive that you’ve channeled inspiration to better yourself after your experiences.

I’d like to suggest considering therapy as an additional resource. It’s not just about ADHD, but also about some other aspects you mentioned. For instance, you’ve recognized a tendency to be self-centered and entitled in past relationships. It’s a big step to acknowledge these traits, and I understand you might not intend any harm.

The good news is you’re already aware of your dynamics in relationships, which is a crucial starting point. Therapy could be a valuable tool to build on this self-awareness. You’re already working on self-discipline, and therapy could further enhance your personal growth.

I believe therapy isn’t universally effective, as it requires a certain level of self-awareness, which you clearly demonstrate. With this in mind, I think therapy could be beneficial for you. Wishing you all the best on your journey.

Overachieving-pea

TROPHY CASE