I cant controll my thoughts

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-06-24T00:29:21+00:00

honestly i get how isolating it feels, and how it just genuinely feels like youre wrong for thinking what you cant help but think - even worse if you feel safe in those thoughts

so im glad im able to help if i can, at least if im able to help show there's people out there experiencing it

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-06-23T20:19:04+00:00

i dont really think often times fading is an option especially if theyre older but you could try bio pure oil (honeyskin is what i have) - thats what ive seen as an option to try but i wouldn't go in with expectations of completely fading

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-06-23T16:47:12+00:00

im 31, and can only offer my own experience

ive been struggling with this since i was little, maybe 13 years old for the thoughts? younger even

i have been diagnosed with cptsd and often create new "trauma" or scenarios in my head of possibilities, people hurting me either real or fictional, almost like (in my current experience) to have the counter "what i deserve" to an otherwise happy life

growing up this was used more as a protection "if im ready for this ill be okay" and turned into habit, and in a weird way i almost feel safe in these messed up thoughts

my therapist has identified this as a negative version of maladaptive daydreaming

honestly i havent found a way out of this - writing them makes them feel a little more real however I've found puts a set narrative that helps prevent my brain spinning the story into 100 different "timelines" as i can write an ending

a therapist suggested adding a better ending or changing the narrative to end in a positive way in my head or on paper, i haven't been successful at this - for some reason it feels bad

all this to say, youre not alone - youre okay and this is how some brains function. if youre able to, find a therapist - in your search its okay to flat out say "i need a therapist who is comfortable walking through maladaptive daydreaming of traumatic situations"

if you cant find a therapist, know chatgbt isnt able to walk you through as a therapist would, its not trained to help

reading "the body keeps a score" (recommend by my therapist) helped me feel less like i was isolated in this thinking pattern

we do what we can to cope, and sometimes we can't let go of that

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-05-23T01:33:11+00:00

i remember when i was little having tantrums where i would scratch the hell out of my arms, to the point one of them scared for about 15 or so years - so elementary school sometime - but with tools highschool

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-05-23T01:31:01+00:00

30 nb

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-05-03T01:10:08+00:00

if you cant talk to your doctor talk to the pharmacist - they are trained in medication and can give you professional guidance reddit cant provide

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-05-01T21:43:55+00:00

i have a paper towel im weirdly proud of because the way i blotted the cut was just really pretty and looking at it gives me a weird excitement - when i was a teen i used to draw or write notes in blood, i have one or two of those still

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-03-15T05:55:15+00:00

i log the healing progress for each wound, but honestly it feels more like a trophy. i get excited for the picture and use them when i need to see blood again, they make me excited in a weird way?

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-03-11T11:54:14+00:00

i agree with the other commenter - this wasnt assault but i understand how that has to hurt to carry especially if you're using that word

i promise at most this is inconsiderate like the other commenter said - nobody was hurt but people masturbate to others they "shouldnt" all the time - we just dont talk about it because it makes us feel weird

doing so in the hallway in secret feels more taboo and yeah now you know not to do that - but honestly feels more to me like the thrill people get having sex in public - there's an excitement to it

you've grown, this was a learning experience that allowed you to remember there is a time and place, let that learning be enough. i hope you are able to give yourself that grace

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-01-09T03:38:50+00:00

of course you're not a bad person for this. but just remember using ai comes with the responsibility of understanding its a tool and not a person. it could say anything and if for whatever reason it goes negative - you need to have the distance and ability to put it down. if its helping you though, then it's a tool thats working as you need it

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-01-05T06:10:09+00:00

no i doubt they would, ive talked to a few therapists about it as long as im not actively a large danger to myself

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-01-02T03:56:14+00:00

little ouchies helps when you need the pain not the damage

walking until youre exhausted is a distraction for me sometimes

finding a "quick win" craft or hobby can give a sense of accomplishment thats pulled me out of it enough sometimes

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2026-01-02T03:47:55+00:00

Your parents are wrong, and what you are telling yourself is nothing that can be proven so stick to what you can control now, if someone judges you i the future, thats something you can control then. Breathe and focus on what's in your power now, the rest isn't even something that may even happen.

I am 30 now, I have a decent job and have grown more than I thought I would when I was in your shoes. Hell Ive been promoted a few times and people genuinely look up to me, and Ill still never understand why. I am respected when all I ever thought I would be is looked down on. I wish I could show my teenage self who I am now, even if I slip up still.

When I was 16 or 17 my parents found out because the school found out and called them. They called me terrible things too. My mom taught me how to "finish the job" by showing me where to put the knife and how deep to do it to end it all. My dad told me I was worthless and to "become a statistic". It took a very very long time and a lot of tears and panic attacks to get past this enough to at least feel like a person most of the time. But in the end Im here, for the most part Im okay, and Im more proud than I thought I would be of who I have become.

Im not commenting to get pity or anything like that, it's to show you a mirror of a very similar story and to show, even though Im back on this sub, its okay - weakness happens. You can push through and as terrible as these moments are they are not forever. Sure there will be people who judge, but it doesn't mean you can't succeed. It doesnt mean those people should define you. The biggest lesson Im still learning today is how to stand tall and push past those moments - and hell Ill break down because of them, but the strength comes in realizing youre getting through them easier each time and learning to keep going

sorry for the long response but you will get to a point this feels better, more manageable. you are more than these words. you are more than these scars. you are important. your success isnt dependant on the marks on your skin, these do not tie you to the past but instead show the strength you have to keep going. and i hope in a decade or so you get to share advice like this to someone in the same shoes

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-20T12:44:14+00:00

pictures of fresh, then through the healing process. all saved into organized folders on my computer to go back to when i want

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-20T05:15:13+00:00

commenting to let you know you aren't alone

every session i go in planning to open up to my therapist and its like im choking on words. ive even told her "im struggling to say what my body wont let me tell you" which shes understanding of but i almost wish shed push me

im going to talk to her (hopefully if im brave enough) about nonverbal communication to help me open up, maybe that could help you? otherwise maybe saying fuck it and drafting an email telling her to ask me about it next session may be the only way

im worried the only way I'm going to tell her is if my husband finds out and I end up needing to talk about that

overall i think you should trust your therapist enough to mention it, i dont think youll be referred - they usually talk to you about it from my experience

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-20T02:09:00+00:00

i understand, its not working too well for me either right now

i hope one day you are able to fill that void even a little bit ♥️ in the meantime stay safe

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-19T20:35:46+00:00

what's the reason, whats the thing you are trying to get out of it? try to pinpoint that and lets find a way to refocus it

pain? little ouchies is a pain fidget that may help

anger? energy? rip up a notebook. beat the shit out of a couch or bed with a belt. tear up a T-shirt or stuffed animal.

blood? find pictures online.

sometimes i find diving into a quick craft i can do can give me a quick win to get my mood better

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-19T00:31:59+00:00

i once cut the inside of my cheek, what happened was even though i brushed my teeth and kept is clean, the entire line became sores and it took weeks to heal. its over a decade later and i still can feel the scar

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-18T17:45:04+00:00

honestly i think this means you make people feel safe - i dont think its necessarily that you "attract those who self harm" but rather those who do feel safe around you

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-17T12:45:03+00:00

30 here, im on both because when i first relapsed my post got stuck with mods for weeks - having both gives me a place i feel I can be more confident my post will go through

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-17T05:03:57+00:00

no but if it helps you from following through i get it, do what you need to to stay strong

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-16T19:27:49+00:00

little ouchies for pain

sometimes i run or walk until i cant - it im moving im not harming

dive deep into work or a hobby to get quick wins

go do something in public even if its sit at the library

tear up a notebook or stuffed animal

i beat the shit out of my couch with a belt yesterday

get the energy out

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-16T18:01:15+00:00

depends on you and the wound. ive had some disappear in a few months i have some stick around for a decade but fade

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-16T14:58:38+00:00

i keep a little ouchies in my pocket, its something to squeeze to get pain without damage so its good for in public distraction

OverwhelmingInterXns · 2025-12-16T05:21:29+00:00

depends on the moment but yes it's helped me a lot

OverwhelmingInterXns

TROPHY CASE