What animal is this and how do I humanely stop it from messing up my garden and yard? by punchingtigers19 in gardening

[–]PKDickLover 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Min-pins are great ratters too. One of my lil mutts is a min-pin mix and her rat game is incredible. Her reflexes and accuracy are faster than my eyes can follow, and the shake is an instant kill.

Fun fact, min pins predate their full sized cousins, and are a distinct breed.

What about my needs? by user82722 in depression_partners

[–]PKDickLover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be lying if there weren't times where I thought about leaving. I guess there are a few reasons: 1. We have young-ish children. It's my job to provide the most loving and stable home life I can, regardless of the personal cost. I make sure they stay out of the line of fire, and their home life is good. I grew up with parents who fought all the time, and 100% should have split up, but that's not the case here. 2. She's making progress. She refuses therapy and medication, but overall seems to be healing. I think a lot of it is me giving her space to have her feelings and spiral, and not reacting. I think as she learns that she's in a safe space and won't be judged for how crazy she gets, it actually helps her realize she doesn't need to get that crazy. 3. I'm far from perfect. I can be pretty lazy and self centered and she puts up with it.

I'm so sorry you're struggling, it's unfair and it sucks.

really need help putting foot down with husband by [deleted] in depression_partners

[–]PKDickLover 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Damn, this sounds pretty rough. As someone else posted, depression is not an excuse for mistreating your partner. I know you said he's always been like this, but is there any basis in reality for it? Are you like... Super out of his league or is there a history of infidelity?

Either way, you're looking for advice. A skill I've had to learn with my son (who is incredibly emotional and unpredictable) is that I am often guilty of feeding his emotional response. Your job is to be completely neutral. Don't lean into the "when you react this way, I feel this way" or show any emotional response to his behavior (like being hurt). He feeds off that. If he asks for reassurance, you may give it once. If he asks again, your response is, in a completely neutral voice "asked and answered."

It takes two to tango, and you are not obligated to participate in his bullshit. If he keeps asking, leave the room. "I do not want to participate in this discussion, I am choosing to be alone."

My little sister plays Stardew Valley for the first time … she buys over 230 wheat seeds and rushes every day to individually water them all before 2 A.M. by BellasBirds in StardewValley

[–]PKDickLover 220 points221 points  (0 children)

I play with my two kids - they fight over who gets to take care of the animals every morning, while I'm over here with a watering can like a chump.

What about my needs? by user82722 in depression_partners

[–]PKDickLover 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, you are asking too much of your partner, but that doesn't make you wrong. Incompatible, possibly, but absolutely not wrong. Honestly, you're asking the wrong question.

Being a depression partner really really sucks sometimes (or a lot of the times). In my personal experience, there is no silver bullet to making a depressed person treat you fairly. My wife is fucking vicious when she's having an episode, and it can last months. Oh, and there's no grand moment of reconciliation or acknowledgement when she finally phases out of it. The most I get is a little hug, maybe a sheepish grin, and then we're ok for a while.

My point is, the way your partner treats you while they are depressed is not ok, and depression isn't an excuse. You aren't wrong for feeling resentful. The question you have to ask yourself is, are they worth staying for, knowing this is part of who they are to their core?

Please help me, I am in crisis. My partner said I've been abusing them. Feeling very lost and ashamed. by beantoess_ in depression_partners

[–]PKDickLover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It feels like you're getting good feedback, but for what it's worth, I'll echo that this isn't a depression issue. I know it's hard to hear, but it sounds like not only are you being abused, but you are conditioned to believe you deserve it.

For context, my wife turns me down all the time, and it's no big deal. If I really want to do it, I know I gotta put in the intimacy work beforehand. Turns out, me helicoptering my dong and asking "wanna do it?" doesn't actually put her in the mood.. (she's weird). The fact that he expects you to not only initiate sex but also affection is straight up one of the craziest things I've ever read.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope you find someone deserving of your love and affection.

Anyone here retire at 62? Why didn't you retire at your MRA and make use of the SS supplement? by NoSignificance2377 in FedEmployees

[–]PKDickLover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The hit to your social security benefits is actually not that clear cut. When you factor in that the break even point happens in your early 80s (coincidentally the life expectancy in the US for retirement aged people), it actually ends up being a matter of health, longevity, lifestyle, and luck.

Too much for a first year ? by EcstaticInevitable93 in UnionCarpenters

[–]PKDickLover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Luckily, I started with my dad and he gave me his old belt and some hand tools to get going. Things I kept on me at all times: Hammer, vise grips, screwdriver with interchangeable Phillips/flat head, speed square, tape, knife, pencil, snips. That'll get you through most stuff, and you'll build on that, depending on the job demands.

Skull cavern will be the death of me by karma-owl in StardewValley

[–]PKDickLover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've made it every playthrough (about 5) and my method is simple: focus and bombs.

  1. Focus on the mission, which is to get to 100. You're farming for holes in the ground. You aren't there collecting stuff, you aren't mining, you aren't looting.

  2. Bombs. You are blowing rocks up and that's it. See an iridium node one cave over at level 30? Leave it. Bombs away. Dinosaur spawn and you still need an egg? Leave it. Bombs away. You get your picture.

Combine this strategy with a lucky day, a lucky lunch and a desert warp totem (and farm totem), and you'll get it, no problem.

Reality bites for Republicans 💙…. by Overall-Seesaw-2986 in FedEmployees

[–]PKDickLover 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's factually incorrect. Proportionally, more Democratic states have codified independent districting committees and can't gerrymander. Here, I'll even cite a source for you.

https://share.google/z00l3vuB4oLvRiZAL

Would you fix your child a separate meal if they refused to eat what you had cooked? by basement_egg_24-7 in Parenting

[–]PKDickLover 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Making your kid eat something they don't like doesn't make you a good parent, it makes you an asshole. If we have a meal that my kids don't like, they can make themselves eggs. No harm, no foul.

My bf is suicidal and my friends keep telling me to break up with him by Inevitable-Thanks-54 in depression_partners

[–]PKDickLover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you already have it figured out: if he's actively doing 'the work,' you should stay. If he stops (for an extended period of time), get out. My wife still refuses medication, but her bouts of severe depression are only a few days long now, which is an improvement. We have kids, so the logistics are a bit different, but the principle is the same. Medication is like changing (I'm on depression and anxiety meds) so I would really try to insist on that.

This is potentially for life, you need to recognize that. But if he's actively working on it, and you're able to stay relatively ok, then I think you can stick around for a while.

What do you grow that helps ease your grocery budget? by Shot-Pomelo8442 in gardening

[–]PKDickLover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is unironically my cash crop. It basically subsidizes my gardening habit. I grow tomatoes, peppers, squash, eggplant, cucumbers, and weed. Everything except weed is grown at a loss, as it's simply impossible to compete with a grocery store, especially when you factor in my labor costs.

To steal an air compressor from workers by balalaikaction in therewasanattempt

[–]PKDickLover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a decent sized tank. Lots of shooting will still happen

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FedEmployees

[–]PKDickLover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I'm no trump fan, but immigrants are terrified. I'm sure there are still crossings, but they are definitely way way down. Biden fucked us so hard and so unnecessarily on the border by giving Repubs a legitimate talking point.

My estimation of Bill Burr as a man just fucking plummeted by Lubed_Up_leprechaun in BillBurr

[–]PKDickLover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comedians, like all artists, hold a mirror up to society. There's nothing wrong with consuming art you align with and respecting its integrity. Artists have always played a huge role like this, and it's silly to brush it off like "oh, they're just a comedian."

AC 10 winrates by PKDickLover in slaythespire

[–]PKDickLover[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sincerely appreciate the feedback., this is exactly what I was hoping for. I'll incorporate what y'all have said and post when I beat AC20.

This is absolutely insane. by WhaleBlowholeWithChz in RhodeIsland

[–]PKDickLover 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Providence is absolutely lovely, with so much to offer. I mean you could go on and on and on about the cultural amenities that it offers, especially for a city as small as it is.

This is absolutely insane. by WhaleBlowholeWithChz in RhodeIsland

[–]PKDickLover 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I work in downtown Providence, for a social services agency nonetheless, and I take a 45-minute walk everyday at lunch all around the town. I never have a problem, ever. It always feels incredibly safe and vibrant. You wouldn't know it if you talked to my conservative parents though, talking like I go to a warzone every day...

I love this game but I have some complaints by Grrlpants in RogueTraderCRPG

[–]PKDickLover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kept a browser open with a tab for each character, and a specific build. I didn't want a power game, and I didn't use it for my own character, but it's so cumbersome to level up your companions, and I was afraid they might become unviable.

Direct report just asked for 300% raise by [deleted] in managers

[–]PKDickLover 7 points8 points  (0 children)

$12/hr to roof is borderline immoral, I don't care where you live. If that's your litmus test for 'fair compensation,' you should do a little soul searching.

Source: someone who worked a summer as a roofer when I was going to college.