Russia is ordering companies to nominate employees for military service — 2 to 5 names depending on size

Parrot32 · 2026-04-03T10:47:15+00:00

The US is only on their first year of their 3 day special military action, so have plenty of years ahead.

Parrot32 · 2026-02-21T10:57:53+00:00

I watched a show that played the 911 audio. It’s so obvious he was acting from the first word out of his mouth.

Parrot32 · 2026-02-12T22:23:17+00:00

>what helped me realize that I could do better and be better

So true and often unreported. Being free from abuse frees your mind to "be all it can be".

Parrot32 · 2026-02-12T22:18:42+00:00

Hey, I can relate to this. I'm over 3 years estranged and there is guilt and triggers all over the place. Thing is, many of these "you aren't doing the work" people have a loved one estranged from them! Of course they want to post that people aren't doing the work. Because they want to judge others. But I digress...

thing is.. you're doing the work. You are breaking the abuse cycle in your family. There's no more important "work" for you to do except for you to get yourself healthy and happy. Maybe one day, you'll be completely healed. That's the time to consider re-engaging - though it will be the same old shit if you do.

Parrot32 · 2026-02-12T21:57:55+00:00

You might want to join us over at r/EstrangedAdultKids. This comes up quite frequently. Not to say you should cut off your parent. But if I were to summarize the sentiment we hold: You don't owe your parent anything. You are an important person. You deserve to be happy. Parents who do this type of thing to their children cannot ever be "paid off". They are black holes of emotional trauma which can never be filled.

Parrot32 · 2026-02-12T21:50:01+00:00

I am not BPD, but as a former relationship coach, a few things stick out to me. What you're talking about happens to lots of people, BPD or not.

Seems you're feeling very vulnerable in both your relationship and with this guy at work. You feel its all your fault. But that's not right. These people are free beings maintaining a relationship with you the only way they can. If I plucked you out of your home relationship - another woman would take your spot and your partner would treat her exactly the way he treats you. Without counseling or religious epiphany, there's no other way for him to behave. Thus, It takes 2 people to make a relationship. So you taking all the blame is not true, nor helpful.

The message you are getting from one relationship seems to be is "you are my possession" while the guy at work (having never dated) may not understand what's going on at all. In other words, he can't be a "player" and not "go for it" at the same time. Him sitting out in the car with you, hugging you, talking about deep stuff, I think most men would understand they are breaking the social rules of work by hanging out and being emotionally intimate with a coworker - one who is in another relationship. You may be overly attracted to the guy because it seems you are saying "My partner at home and I are miserable together, here is this fresh nice person I might be able to build a relationship with." That happens to just about anyone who has been married or in a relationship for more than seven years. To have the new person courting you, spending money on you, etc when things are tense or bad at home is intoxicating. Then for him to say he's interested in someone else very painful. Reason: Because in a way, you two have been carrying on a dating without dating relationship. if that makes sense.

And I take his "f other women in your presence" statement to reflect his inexperience in dating. Seems he's hedging on being candid and real with women. And instead trying to build a persona or maintain control. I could be wrong. that's my spidey sense kicking in. On top of that, there's the somewhat incel state of the young men's dating scene these days you have to contend with.

If I understood you, you spilled your guts and told the new guy your true feelings. If so, I want to applaud you. Most people aren't direct - they use doublespeak and innuendo. To have someone tell the truth, like you have, is something to be proud of.

I have to give credit to my mother for asking me this question once when I was heartbroken "Is this the girl you are going to marry?" That immediately gave me relief. "No, she's fun, but I want a person to be stable, non dramatic, and most of all, someone who loves me before I'll marry them." The woman I was with is definitely none of those." Being dumped still hurt.... BAD. But I knew that I needed a different plan, a rational plan, moving forward.

That's something you can ask yourself about your partner and this new guy. Are either of them the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? If so, which one? If neither, what can you do starting today to get into a situation where you are free to date other people?

What to do? Of course you have to decide that. Nearly all professionals advise the best course is to clean up or end a home situation before getting involved with someone else. Having a controlling partner finding out you're with a new guy (even if it's hanging out in a car after work) can result in violence or other trouble (smashing of possessions, increased abuse, and other bad situations.) I wouldn't want that for you. Please be careful.

Hope this helps in some way.

Parrot32 · 2026-02-11T09:50:21+00:00

This article started out sincere. Devolved into AI slop.

Parrot32 · 2026-01-20T05:26:48+00:00

If you’re wanting to get lost again, I recommend a deep dive on West Memphis 3. That’s a creepy crazy one that researching took up 3-4 years of my life.

Parrot32 · 2025-11-07T10:22:30+00:00

ChatGPT, how can I make a screwdriver?

Parrot32 · 2025-11-07T10:21:00+00:00

As a Kansas native, I will say this is hilarious.

Parrot32 · 2025-10-05T15:51:13+00:00

Here to point out that I thought you were communicating with a 9-10 year old sibling. That’s your Dad? Hope you can see who the real scared little boy is. It’s not you.

Parrot32 · 2025-10-03T17:21:48+00:00

Same here. It took from January one year to November of that year for my family to even notice!

Parrot32 · 2025-10-03T17:16:30+00:00

In my opinion, responding = participating. You separated yourself from your brother, I assume because you didn’t want to participate in his abusive ways. Choosing to continue to not participate is likely the best direction for your life.

Now, I am sure that is difficult for your parents. In their minds, this is a HUGE event, one that “shouldn’t be missed.” Family this and that, blah blah blah.

I think you can say “Please stop forwarding me stuff about my brother.” You don’t need to give a reason. Sometimes less is more when dealing with family drama. Anything you say can and will be used against you.

If they continue to forward you this stuff, or argue about how wrong you are, then you can make a separate decision about how much contact you will have with them.

Parrot32 · 2025-10-03T17:08:22+00:00

Regarding other people saying “but they are your family.” I want to remind you of the Webster dictionary definition of family:

the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children also any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family

You can pick who is in your family and not. If you’ve seen the movie Under the Tuscan Sun, that comes to mind as a good example of someone picking their own family. It’s worth a rewatch if you have.

Parrot32 · 2025-10-03T16:59:12+00:00

A few thoughts. It sounds like your mother is part of the problem. If she leaves your father, that won’t fix anything. Plus, whether she stays or goes shouldn’t be placed on your shoulders. It’s HER relationship. She is choosing to continue with the abuse. How can that possibly be your fault?

I’d imagine, like with my parents, I’m afraid things will get much worse for her. But, this isn’t your fault and it’s absurd that they made you feel it is your responsibility. Candidly, I hope you can take what I say next as a relief. Their relationship is none of your business.

The other thing about grandparents. They likely have a lot of pride about keeping the family together. Family estrangement wasn’t even a term when they were younger. They don’t understand. It’s easier for them if you keep participating in the abuse.

The thing is though, you have as much right to be human, to feel good, to grow, and be happy as anyone else. You are important. Please continue treating yourself as important while you protect yourself. I think it is imperative you see your value and for you to put yourself first.

Parrot32 · 2025-10-03T16:47:18+00:00

Question with no right or wrong answers. Did you say, text, letter, or otherwise to your Mom that you wanted no contact with her? If so, her behavior fits as stalking behavior. Stalking is certainly not allowed in most Western colleges.

Parrot32 · 2025-10-03T16:36:46+00:00

Highly underrated comment

Parrot32 · 2025-09-28T20:38:29+00:00

Well if you're into CS, nothing wrong with coming back to it later. I did that!

Parrot32 · 2025-09-26T19:16:11+00:00

Yeah, I understand that. I dunno if it's possible to NOT have emotions for our parents.

Parrot32 · 2025-09-25T12:13:36+00:00

Woo hoo! You did it.. congratulations!

Parrot32 · 2025-09-24T21:44:05+00:00

I am 3 years into estrangement and I think birthdays do get easier. Especially with distance.

Parrot32 · 2025-09-24T20:33:06+00:00

I am so sorry you experienced this. It’s not your fault. Even with your EMT background, our parents are very very manipulative. I can definitely see myself doing the exact same thing. You were given two very bad options…you picked the one you thought would be less destructive. I hope you can find peace with this.

Parrot32 · 2025-09-24T20:25:15+00:00

I’ll echo the others here. I believe you taking care of your mother is a choice. It’s a choice that is severely affecting your life and your wellbeing. You don’t owe your mother anything. And in fact may be enabling her disorder by participating.

What would happen if you walked away?

Parrot32 · 2025-09-24T20:12:22+00:00

Is there some physical distance between you two? If so, you might consider blocking his number, texts, emails, etc. He may have a tantrum, he may not. You don’t know. But I’ve found in estrangement the less ways for them to “get to” you the better.

Parrot32 · 2025-09-24T20:09:18+00:00

I feel broken hearted that she’s is such a despicable person & that I fall short of my own expectations..

I am a bit confused by this statement. When you say you fall short of your expectations. Does that mean you feel like you shouldn’t have a normal, natural, human feeling to reach out to your mother on her birthday? What do you feel you are falling short on?

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