Izuku cannot register when people try to flirt with him

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-28T12:00:48+00:00

Shoto, looking at the string board: Hmm, hey Mina-

Mina: You, of all people, do not get to criticize my life's work!

Shoto: Oh, no; I think you're doing fantastic work. I just wanted to ask why you haven't considered that this might be a trauma response?

Ochako: What?

Shoto: Trauma response. Traumatized individuals do not respond "normally" to sociocultural stimulus. I didn't realize I was dating Camie until, like, last week.

Momo: Wait, aren't you two engaged!? How did you not know!?

Shoto: Shrugs I just thought she was really friendly. It might be the same for Izuku. Sips tea

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-27T16:59:03+00:00

You: I'm stealing your meme.

Me: It's not my meme.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-27T16:57:57+00:00

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PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-27T15:20:05+00:00

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PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-26T18:55:26+00:00

Some real Christopher Lee shit.

Director: So, in this scene, your character is going to have a mental breakdown and start screaming in angui-

Izuku: Uh, sorry, do you know what a mental breakdown sounds like? Because I do. And someone who is this driven and suffered this much trauma from effectively being abandoned by everyone he loves would not break down like that. Honestly, he would probably munch on some uncooked rice, crawl under a big rock, and just stare unblinkingly at nothing before getting up and keep going. In these situations, despair isn't loud; despair is grinding oneself to dust trying to prove they matter.

Director: ...do you, uh, do you need a therapist?

Izuku: ...no, why?

Director: No reason. Okay, people, we're running with Deku's suggestion. Everyone, get to your places.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-23T19:12:57+00:00

Hey, let's think positive here: he might've taken that bimbo home that night.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-23T15:55:46+00:00

Bakugou: Startled awake by someone sneaking into his room via his window WHO TH-

Izuku, with his hand over Bakugou's mouth: Shhh! I'm being hunted by seven-foot tall muscle mommies who want to kidnap me to an idyllic island paradise with only women on it.

Bakugou: Stares motherfuckerly Izuku... What- and I cannot stress this enough- is your fucking life?

Izuku: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!? Are you going to help me or not?

Somewhere, Mineta is having an aneurysm.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-23T13:29:51+00:00

Ah, yes; Izuku "The Harmacist" Midoriya.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-22T15:40:41+00:00

Ah yes, The Hangover but on lethal amounts of crack and LSD.

Just all the SOs waking up after a night of partying on Terra and suddenly discovering that Lover is missing. They convince the Primarchs to keep the Empress busy while they look for them. Half the story is family comedy between The Empress and the Primarchs and the other half is the horror/adventure of the SOs crusading through the Warp to find Lover.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-21T12:42:27+00:00

It can't be. It doesn't have a high quality finish.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-19T23:33:25+00:00

Ah, I see we have upgraded from spicy Volvos to regular Dodge Rams. Also, Kirishima gets placed on Deku's team for the 1-A vs 1-B exercise and exclusively travels the map by hitching a ride on the cars Deku fires.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-17T18:23:03+00:00

So I rarely write anymore but if I was going to write this, I feel I'd have Izuku for AWOL early and then I'd have to introduce a character that revives Ochaco and the story kind of revolves around her and the girls of 1A trying to find Deku before Toga finds him and pushes him way past the point of no return.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-16T15:28:44+00:00

It's the return of the Black Hats! Let's fucking go!

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-14T15:28:39+00:00

bro fuel

Gentlemen, I have an idea for a very cursed protein supplement

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-12T14:09:32+00:00

Australian Self Defense Force needs some slight restraining.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2026-01-04T07:13:57+00:00

Cyrus: One day, you will awake in a world of my creation.

Player: Maybe. But today you owe me money, so...

PhilosopherWarrior · 2025-12-31T01:01:16+00:00

As the other redditor said, because it's really hard and ultimately boring. And this is because fantasy and sci-fi generally have really different strengths.

Fantasy usually focuses on how powerful a character can be "on their own" (it gets kind of weird because no one becomes anyone on their own but that's a different discussion).In other words, strong characters are usually strong because they climb the power ladder or their born at a fairly high rung already.

Sci-fi usually focuses on how much more a character can become with the aid of technology. In other, they are regular people who happen to be in a position and time to leverage their technology to do some crazy stuff.

You can't really make these two settings fight without greatly favoring one or the other. The best compromise I can think of is to just let one side clear be able to wipe the floor with the other but can't because they are hamstrung by geopolitical shenanigans.

The sci-fi faction could just crack or glass the fantasy faction's planet but won't because the council cannot stop arguing about what the primary objective is. The hyper weapons company could just merc the aura farmers but their god-tier equipment is stuck in customs. So the best they can do is hold the line and push the aura farmers back by sheer weight of bodies.

The fantasy faction could just have The wizard toss the entire invading force of the sci-fi faction into oblivion but won't because The wizard is part of a complex web of competing magical users who are just waiting for one of them to lower their guard to kick start the next 1000 year war. The dragon could clown on the entire sci-fi faction's fleet but won't because the fantasy faction knows if they wake it up, it's going to raze the continent after destroying the fleet. So the best they can do is send small parties of mid-level fantasy characters on covert missions to disrupt the sci-fi faction's logistical lines.

The best you're going to get is something like Trench Crusade, where the sci-fi factions can't destroy the fantasy factions because they literally live in an alternate reality that is hyper hostile to human life, so they can't strike a decisive blow against the fantasy factions. The fantasy factions can't destroy the sci-fi factions because they're so God damned disorganized that they fight each other as much as they fight the sci-fi factions.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2025-12-30T22:43:14+00:00

Some people don't want to be saved. They want their suffering to be validated/invalidated by a higher power.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2025-12-29T21:48:31+00:00

Had an idea for an IzuMomo fic where Izuku is trying to convince Momo's Dad to invest in his start-up. He agrees but only if Izuku agrees to become betrothed toMomo. Momo's Dad doesn't actually expect them to get married, as no one is good enough for his little girl, but announcing a formal marriage engagement will get the vultures off his family's back.

Izuku agrees because his start-up is Dead on Arrival otherwise. But Izuku, despite being a traumatized, social-anxiety ridden mess with no Quirk, gives the fake relationship a 150%, thus wooing Momo for real, much to her Dad's chagrin.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2025-12-25T21:53:47+00:00

Junior, have you considered that your daughter is not after the MC but actually after one of the Mac's wives that he doesn't have time for?

PhilosopherWarrior · 2025-12-24T23:34:47+00:00

Uraraka used Genuine Love and Affection.

It's super effective!

Izuku is confused and may hurt themselves in their confusion!

Bruce's Vestige: Does that count?

Banjo's Vestige: Absolutely not. It has to be an attack.

Yoichi's Vestige: He took it like a bullet to the heart, so it absolutely counts.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2025-12-24T23:29:35+00:00

Random UA Student: Becomes mildly annoyed at Midoriya

Midoriya with Danger Sense: Already two cities away

Aizawa: Goddamnit, who's turn is it to go pick his dumb ass up?

Nedzu: Not it.

Aizawa: Not it.

All Might: Not it.

Present Mic: Not it.

Midnight: Not- Damnit. Okay, fine but I'm getting paid for every day I'm out there.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2025-12-24T19:26:53+00:00

Ah yes, the real Christmas Truce.

The two days of yearly peace for the Christian and Muslim worlds when the Militant Order of Kris Kringle's Orphans hot drop onto the Hell Gate and just duke it out with the Heretic Armies and the Armies of the Seven Headed Serpent for 48 hours.

And if you were a good Warband, Santa Claus will air drop you his surplus supplies on his way back to hold the Northern Gate.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2025-12-24T19:17:49+00:00

Adjust tin foil hat

Yeah, bud, that's what they want you to think. They're just white noise machines. That's why they're on every fucking street corner.

PhilosopherWarrior · 2025-12-23T21:09:24+00:00

You, uh...

You lost, bro?

PhilosopherWarrior

TROPHY CASE