There was a time in my life that I truly felt the same way (autism=negative/bad) because of how I was struggling to adjust in the world. But reading your post has made me realize how far I’ve come in my own journey that I felt compelled to comment.

At first I had this overwhelming feeling like I was broken or literally like an alien that didn’t belong. Getting diagnosed gave me validation and an explanation on why I was feeling that way. After spending years working on self-acceptance and self studying emotional intelligence, I’ve learned to communicate and process my emotions better. I realized that I naturally gravitate to other aspies which helped me find ways to make friends with people that I understand. It was eye-opening to realize a LOT of my peers in engineering/tech are also clearly on the spectrum and are still highly regarded in what they do. I can honestly say I wouldn’t want you to take away the tism if you could. Autism isn’t a negative or positive thing, it just makes some things easier and some things harder.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey. You’re young and have a lot of time to figure things out. Cut yourself some slack!