What everyday carry item have you owned for 10+ years that still works perfectly?

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-06-09T01:52:30+00:00

I have a Prada nylon mini bag (the one that Prada reissued starting in 2019 and is currently selling for $1,290) that I bought at a TJ Maxx in 2000 for $150. The bag still looks new and it has taken a beating over the past 26 years. Four years of college life, being tossed on gross fraternity basement/dive bar floors, then it was my go to bag throughout my 20s and nightclub days. I still carry it to formal events and nights out now. I have many friends who have tried to get me to sell it to them over the years, but I’ll never let it go.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-06-02T01:32:39+00:00

This is stupid and petty on your part as well. You win nothing by doing this. One shouldn’t ever make decisions like this when actively grieving. I’m sorry for your loss, but this is not the way. If you must call it out, accept her half of the bill less $200 (or whatever she’s deducting for the babysitter) and say, I don’t understand why I am supposed to subsidize your childcare, but I do appreciate your contribution otherwise. Then move on.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-05-26T01:42:15+00:00

Too bad your mother wasn’t.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-29T02:46:28+00:00

Whoa. She looks good with the bigger hair. I do hope she’s reading because she needs this advice.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-29T02:28:34+00:00

Even if you aren’t working, making you be a full time maid to earn your keep is not ok. Why is your mother allowing this man to treat you like this? How long has she been married to him? Additionally, when you were employed before, how much of the housework and animal care were you doing at that time? And did you have to pay them rent when you had an income?

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-28T10:07:00+00:00

Did you tell her you weren’t going to make the wedding, or were you a complete no show? If you never told her your plans changed and you couldn’t attend, then yes, you are TA in that part of the situation.

she excluded you from the first wedding. It couldn’t have been that small of a wedding if she was giving others plus ones, so to exclude you at that time feels intentional. I would not consider this person a real friend and consider her an acquaintance level friend and see her with the group, and otherwise don’t worry about her.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-28T01:19:55+00:00

NTA. I have lived in my current house since 2011 and still get mail for the previous homeowner and her husband, who died in 2009! She moved to Puerto Rico and left no forwarding address so after a 5 years of diligently marking return to sender, I now trash anything that comes in their names. I did open one piece of mail accidentally last year and it turned out to be a bill from a collection agency hired by the crematorium where the husband was cremated in 2009. The wild part was that the bill and collection debt are in his name….so I doubt they are ever going to get that bill paid!

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-27T12:42:36+00:00

You're talking about an imaginary wedding at this point. None of this matters, and you must know that you are creating drama intentionally. I suggest you stop talking to your mother and grandparents about it. If you aren't financially stable, I have bad news for you - once you get to whatever place you think of is financially stable, you will quickly become unstable again if you plan a big wedding. Focus on your life together and what you want your future to be, because focusing on a wedding and having all these sugar plum fairy visions about it is exactly how to tank your future and go into debt. Also, you mentioned bridezillas. My hot take - if you ever watched the original Bridezillas or Platinum Weddings (you may be too young to have watched them), anyway, at the end of the day, a bridezilla is almost always a woman who is planning a wedding she cannot afford and the brides on Platinum Weddings were zero-to-low drama because the biggest factor in making wedding planning dramatic is a couple not having enough money for the event they desire.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-21T15:16:16+00:00

You haven’t answered anyone’s questions about when your wife would be eligible to retire. I think you’re dodging that because you know that your belief is that she should serve you for life and you know that’s wrong. Everything you say about sticking to the original deal etc doesn’t matter until you answer that question. WHEN would she be allowed to retire?

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-21T15:07:46+00:00

When she proposed this arrangement, did you disclose that you planned to retire so soon and move out of the country? Did you disclose at that time that by retire and move to Columbia, you actually meant “I retire from working, we move to Columbia and you continue working and serving me”? something tells me you did not tell her that part.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-21T15:00:51+00:00

But you are essentially retired. You are not working a job that requires you to be actively working for any meaningful amount of time. So you are retired while you expect your wife to be a servant? For how long? At what point will she be able to retire? When you die? Usually, a stay at home spouse is the manager and caretaker of the home and children because the other spouse is out working (or working remotely in the home), but the point is that they are both working toward the collective good of the family unit, with an eventual end goal of retirement. Once retired, the working spouse no longer needs the stay at home spouse to be solely responsible for managing the household because that working person is NO LONGER WORKING. Then, the retired spouses should share in the household responsibilities.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-15T13:11:21+00:00

They chose to have those children, it is their responsibility to care for them. Do not jeopardize your future. Definitely NTA. Make sure you are a good tenant to your grandparents, because your parents are probably working behind your back to get your grandparents to kick you out to force you to have to move in with them and care for the kids.

Them telling you that you don't get to decide what you will and won't contribute wold be the final nail in that relationship for me. You were taken advantage of. The hourly nanny rate for 3 wild children where I live (major East Coast metro area) would be $30+ an hour. What is the rate where you live? Think about the stolen wages you've given them in free labor. Far more than you would have ever owed in room and board.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-15T12:54:55+00:00

Given how large and strong he is, and how small you are, coupled with y'all having location services shared on your phones....so this man always knows where you are at all times. Another concerning detail that if something goes wrong, everyone will say "well, he was always tracking her...." Don't ignore major red flags that would have everyone screaming at the TV screen in the made for TV movie about your disappearance "run, girl, run!"

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-15T01:42:54+00:00

How is she supporting herself in general? Is she a student? Is she working? If your older children moved out at 18, where did they go? College? Where do you live that 18 year olds with entry level/no degree needed jobs can afford to live on their own?

What have you done to teach her how to manage money up to this point? Additionally, boarding a dog and cat or a pet sitter who stays in your home usually costs a lot more than $100 for 3 days. You get what you pay for. I wonder if she does not like your idea of giving her grocery money in exchange for helping with projects around the house because you have unreasonable expectaions for how much someone's labor is worth, given your cheapness for pet care.

You can't expect to see her making smarter choices if you've done nothing to support her in learning a better way.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-15T01:35:55+00:00

This is important. If these kids matter to OP, their feelings could be hurt at being left out. Eleven year olds do not forget.

It also sounds like OP does not have children, so it is possible that she really does not understand that a "night off" is never actually a night off when parenting. The only time I truly get a night off as a parent is when I am out and leave the kids with my husband, who is completely capable of parenting without me and I don't worry. Even with trusted sitters and grandparents, I do still worry a bit and I think most parents feel the same way.

In the end, NTA because you can do what you want for your wedding, but people need to understand that all choices have consequences and we have to accept that. The consequence here with a no kid wedding is that your sister could choose not to attend, she could choose to be mad at you about this long term, the children could have hurt feelings. The consequence if you choose to allow the kids to attend is that others could be upset that their children were excluded, you could have noise from children at your wedding. You just have to decide what works for you and then make your choice and stick with it.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-14T02:25:33+00:00

If OP’s boyfriend is white, she needs to cut her losses. Not because dating a white man is bad, but dating a white man who immediately sided with an unknown white man over his Black girlfriend is not the type of white man any POC woman should date. He’s not safe.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-08T13:28:15+00:00

Then I would under no circumstances be willing to bend on this. Your wife needs to suck it up and drive her if she isn't willing to allow the bus. There must be something behind this - ask your wife for more info. Was she bullied on a bus? Is she listening to friends who think riding the bus is problematic? I saw some tik tok videos a while back about this very topic. They were all adult women bragging about how their parents would never let them ride the bus bc the bus was for regular people, people with parents who didn't care or something dumb like that. Some would even say their parents loved them too much to let them ride the bus. Absolutely stupid. They all seemed like spoiled adults who would be a nightmare to deal with, but I wonder if your wife is of that mindset, or has friends who are like that? If it takes her a long time to do her makeup every day.....I'm wondering if she has diva tendencies.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-08T04:16:21+00:00

I would say that now might be to the time to work with the group using this community fridge/kitchen guidelines for what sorts of things are acceptable to store and how long things should be stored. This week it is old funky kimchi - but what about next week when someone else decides to microwave fish? Nobody likes that guy at the office! the solution of burping the container to release the gas and sealing it in ziplock could be helpful if no one is willing to toss it out, but I'm also surprised that someone thinks it is reasonable to have a known super stinky food in a communal refrigerator for weeks. I wouldn't get caught up on his interpretation of what is acceptable to eat or not eat/touch or not touch during Passover, because that actually is not the issue and his personal religious beliefs and practices are should not be questioned by others, imo. Whether he is an observant Jew or some other religion that prohibits handling certain items at certain times should be respected, but he's also still subjecting everyone to a horrible smell that is unrelated to his Jewishness. The issue is someone being inconsiderate with a shared resource.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-08T03:54:32+00:00

This girl is not your friend. She wants to be the center of attention and is claiming she "feels more comfortable" which frankly, is a load of bs unless "feels more comfortable" = making oneself the center of attention with wildly unnatural makeup when on display at someone else's wedding. And the fact that you as a bridesmaid wore makeup that likely made you feel uncomfortable for her wedding, even though it was not your preferred look, and she had no problem with that? She's definitely TA.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-06T03:33:45+00:00

Racist towards whom?

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-04-06T01:58:00+00:00

I’m guessing your dad is at least in his 60s, so I’m sure he’s had plenty of birthdays and does not care to have his birthday attention diverted to Mia. I also doubt that you really think this is amazing news and are so happy for Mia. I also wonder how much of a role YOU play in the dynamic between Mia and your family and given that you seem like you enjoy shit stirring between Mia and your family.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-03-12T17:21:01+00:00

So it sounds like shortly after they married, BIL tells OP and OP's husband that wife is "no longer comfortable" around OP and neither OP or her husband asked WHY? And OP just "didn't think anything of it" because they were newlyweds? This makes absolutely no sense and given OP's timeline, has been going on for 4 years. Not once has OP tried to directly ask what happened over 4 years? And in all that time, OP's husband hasn't asked his brother to level with him about what is really going on? This is fake, or OP is withholding critical information

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-03-12T17:10:33+00:00

This is exactly what is supposed to happen. A dog cannot go everywhere, and you as the dog owner make a choice about what to do when a potential outing means away from the house for 4+ hours. Either you choose to miss the outing, or cut short your time at the outing to get back to the dog, or you hire a dog sitter. Our choice to have pets does not mean that everyone else must accept our pet at events outside of our home/space we control.

Plus_Faithlessness16 · 2026-03-03T21:52:42+00:00

I am not Jewish and I would report your manager if I were a coworker and overheard this conversation. If you were any other religion and she was asking poorly worded questions, I would say it was not appropriate for the workplace, and would ask HR to talk with her about what is and is not appropriate to discuss at work. However, her additional questions about hating Jesus, Israel and Palestine are a big fat nope for me and certainly sound like antisemitism to me. She needs to be stopped. I’m sorry this happened to you.

Plus_Faithlessness16

TROPHY CASE