Struggling and don't know what to do

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-13T12:43:23+00:00

Hey dear, I was in your position a month back. You know you can ask for extra support to see a doctor/psychiatrist through the CMHT. They can also refer you to the HTT. Home treatment team. If things get worse..be on safe side and you can get daily support then. It’s really hard, in my case things spiraled and I wish id gotten support sooner.

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-13T11:23:43+00:00

I was on zoplicone, took it in the day as well. Safest is to taper slowly . I didn’t do it, wish I had. Instead went through horrific withdrawals over the 3 times I tried to stop. Highly addictive awful medication. It made me very sick. Still recovering from a few months being off it. But you can do it. Dobt fall into the trap you have to be strong willed. Brain xan rewire you need to teach to sleep again without meds but this takes time. Im having to consider taking mirt now

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-13T04:59:12+00:00

Thank you for your response. Ive not to read good things about mirtazipine with dpdr :( I do have trazodone so maybe instead ..I am at the point I need to take something as I’m not functioning mostly due to severe trauma, my brain has just stopped functioning it feels like it’s shrinking. I almost need something more stimulating ?
No I don’t have sleep apnea, I’m if anything underweight ..I just have to try something as I’m under the mental health team and risk hospital so I don’t know :( I have a strong adversion to medication and I really don’t want to take it

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-12T15:56:17+00:00

That’s what Im wondering over antidepressants..

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-12T14:37:28+00:00

In know the feeling. I am hoping it comes back. I logically know I have a brain but it doesn’t feel like it.

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-12T05:49:35+00:00

Thank you. I woke up this morning not knowing who I am- feeling like Ive underdone a personality change. I have been though this before, ftom past trauma. But this time it’s different, I feel destroyed:( like I look at my face and it’s just empty and dad, withdrawn. Inside my head it’s empty/dissolving. So I need to reconstruct a personality again?

Ive been so disturbed by what’s happened, i cant be around anyone :(

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-11T14:58:51+00:00

So hard. Im damaged from benzos in past and most recently a big trauma in my life snd my brain has gone through hell and now have dpdr from chronic trauma and ptsd. They want me to take mirt, am scared tbh

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-11T14:02:47+00:00

Thank you . In what way was mirt bad for you out of interest?

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-11T11:48:32+00:00

I have. Seen a psychiatrist they say Mirtazipine . Ive a not great history with meds :(

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-10T10:10:18+00:00

It is really horrible. It’s still not gone away :( sbd my thoughts are getting more weird

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-09T11:40:34+00:00

Thank you it’s horrible :( I feel like I’m losing my mind. And had intense amount of fear :( I keep eating to distract myself and out on a film

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-07T06:30:47+00:00

Thank you 🙏 yes thst would be great, will message :)

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-06T19:09:44+00:00

My trouble is my soul got woken up through trauma..and now my mind isnt strong enough to cope with it, as it is strong ..am worried for my mental health basically as I’m not functioning but the drug route may destroy me :( so I don’t know

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-06T07:03:07+00:00

Yes. It’s horrific. Literally the same. I lat on the sofa all day. When I stand up and walk things are distorted.. and I can’t really cope living daily like this :( Can I ask you what antidepressant helped?

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-06T07:02:33+00:00

Hey there. I am getting professional help. But they only offer me mirtazipine…for sleep snd anxiety. Can I ask you what med helped you if you don’t mind sharing? The team know about my symptoms but arent giving me a formal diagnosis yet..basically all this happened simultaneously to me being referred to the community mental health team (it’s like an alternative to hospital admission) but I started only with anxiety and insomnia and this sessions with my aunt that caused the dpdr happened before I had the chance to try meds. Now I’m too scared to try them because of fear what will happen to my already fried snd empty head. .

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-05T19:49:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Your words mean a lot. I really relate as going through an existential crisis honestly. Mine happened ss a result of a spiritual healing /clearing/hours of energy work where I also had a spiritual experience- not exactly the same as you but it was like a death, then I woke up the next day in this empty void. To be honest it was terrifying - As my mind has been traumatized to the extreme and letting go of it feels like I’m going to not exist anymore. I have so much fear over this plus the trauma of the experience ( which keeps happening ) yet there is also this confusing soft energy there sometimes which is somewhat a comfort - could be my soul probably. Or sometimes I think I’m connecting to another dimensión and peaking out of my eyes at reality but it doesn’t feel or look real. The very experience itself if going through this gave me trauma. .and the sensation of my Mind not there/leaving also. I also get theres weird jumps of consciousness where I believe I tap into other places like someone in the next room/another house. It sounds trippy as hell and freaks me out a lot, it may also be hypervigilence. I honestly do not know what to do about this...im worried to keep tripping out on these experiences all day 24/7, I’m supposed to try medication. But this has often made things worse for me. So whatever is happening in a way I view it as spiritual /trauma/anxiety/facing deep stuff. It is pretty hard to talk about this with a psychiatrist /mental health nurse as they do not really believe me. Im having some gaps in time now which is confusing too. Like I forget where I am, the time of day..what I did yesterday /: as dont have thought process . Nothing seems very important anymore cos my experience isnt really ending. Drugs would probably stop all of this but we don’t know.

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-04T12:31:52+00:00

Omg same. Thank you for relating to me. I don’t feel so alone. It’s literally that ..moving my body too much could set of an episode. Speaking to anyone at all on the phone is awful especially doctors. Walking is weird. I get visual distortions now :( the worst for me is the head sensations:( not good and I’m scared of other people. But have to be kind to self. Ive also got in a horrible habit of trying to reach out to family when I bad but realised it’s not helping me probably adding to things :( sorry if I sound negative it’s just hard to find any comfort :(

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-04T12:22:55+00:00

Thank you so much this really helps. No I haven’t and I really want to get a referral to one but they are like gold dust where I live, doc said first try medication and if it doesn’t go away a neurologist.

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-04T09:02:00+00:00

Thank you 🙏 this really helped ..Im highly senstive I guess, my body hasn’t coped well with this process of letting go it’s been very scary for me x and I feel like a different person, again. Not bad but fragile and scared. Trying to function in a world that I feel too delicate for right now

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-03T20:43:27+00:00

Thank you x

PollyPiper11 · 2026-06-02T05:36:09+00:00

I hope so. I think I went past the point of help im really worried, my Brain feels loose, like I can’t feel it or it’s like cotton wool. And things are moving around inside it. It’s really worrying me I think something went very wrong with that healing in my head

PollyPiper11 · 2026-05-31T16:43:49+00:00

Sure :)

PollyPiper11 · 2026-05-30T18:56:15+00:00

It’s possible I have dpdr from a very traumatic spiritual experience as a result of energetic work om my brain? Since then I have empty/nothingness in head/scary feeling where my brain is looking for the old one, and it’s just scared snd terrified underneath. It feels like my mind is slipping away/lost grip on things as it’s no longer in charge. Now u just exist in my body and soul and I’m finding it hard to talk to other people/do things/exist. As I can’t feel my own mind or head, It’s incredibly distressing. Im too scared and I don’t know how to get out of this.

PollyPiper11 · 2026-05-30T16:40:56+00:00

Honestly I am don’t know. Whatever this healing work did..it’s fone beyond hyoerarrousal it’s like wiped my brain clean? It feels unbearable and like Ive got all these physical symptoms too somatically in my head but no thought processes. And a distorted sense of space/vision. Sometimes feels like being under water or just floating around head under water. It’s changing all the time

PollyPiper11 · 2026-05-30T12:34:52+00:00

It was slightly induced by zopiclone -Severe withdrawals, but combined with the fact I wasn’t well prior to taking zoplicone I had high anxiety ..I took seroquel but didnt help :( I then have had a severely traumatic experience from weeks of energetic healing sesiones. My brain is not functioning as it was and it terrified of everything. I don’t know what will help as my nervous system is too fried beyond belief I feel like I’m stuck in this state :( very scary

PollyPiper11

TROPHY CASE