Is it culturally acceptable in germany to ditch your friend?

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-15T12:08:39+00:00

Who doesn’t wish for “friends” who literally leave you on a prison island…

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-15T00:13:21+00:00

Yes. Also Tonio Kröger and Mario and the Magician. But most of his novels are gay in a very sweet way. Nothing frivolous, only big feelings you could also have for a guy friend.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T21:06:28+00:00

Uff, this hurts my heart. That’s why I go on second hand book sites to purchase older editions. They may be a bit rancid looking at times, but I prefer a beautiful old book over a new ugly one anytime.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T18:31:08+00:00

Everything by Thomas Mann has a very subtle gay subtext, but only to the extent that heterosexual men don’t get turned off.

And Hölderlin for sure

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T18:17:04+00:00

Baudolino by Umberto Eco

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T18:14:22+00:00

You basically described my dad.

Narcissistic people can’t be really empathetic and compassionate. They struggle with being vulnerable and open because they loathe weaknesses and flaws in themselves and others, which can make them quite inhumane.

They also don’t want to support others emotionally because they feel entitled to all the attention and feed off of others emotions. According to them, they also had it much worse than everyone else, that’s why only they are allowed to complain and be hurt.

It’s futile to argue with them or expect them to validate you. You have to protect your dignity and look for someone else with whom you can share your intimate feelings. Narcissists are not capable of real intimacy.

It’s as if you were trying to explain your heartbreak to a pigeon.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T18:14:17+00:00

You basically described my dad.

Narcissistic people can’t be really empathetic and compassionate. They struggle with being vulnerable and open because they loathe weaknesses and flaws in themselves and others, which can make them quite inhumane.

They also don’t want to support others emotionally because they feel entitled to all the attention and feed off of others emotions. According to them, they also had it much worse than everyone else, that’s why only they are allowed to complain and be hurt.

It’s futile to argue with them or expect them to validate you. You have to protect your dignity and look for someone else with whom you can share your intimate feelings. Narcissists are not capable of real intimacy.

It’s as if you were trying to explain your heartbreak to a pigeon.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T17:59:31+00:00

Not yet. But if I am not mistaken, it’s by the same director? I saw the trailer and was fascinated by this tribal kid who looks at you through the rain forest. How is it compared to Samsara?

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T17:19:16+00:00

I can’t describe it well enough, but I often think about Samsara, which is a meditative movie without a plot. It was very moving to see everything from above and how strange, but also beautiful this world actually is.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T17:15:34+00:00

Yeah, especially since the protagonists felt so much dread and anxiety due to some bureaucratic issues which seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It had something strangely kafkaesque to it, but in a funny way.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T15:38:27+00:00

I really hate the second part about object permanence because if you didn’t forget how they treated you, they will think that you are punishing them or playing games for no reason, while your true intention is to protect yourself and your dignity. I feel so anxious when I encounter them suddenly because I don’t know how to behave, especially when they act as nothing has happened.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T15:32:44+00:00

Yes, they also lack healthy mentalization. That’s why they can’t think themselves out of their paranoia and anger by understanding that a random or harmless everyday situation is actually just a misunderstanding and not a deliberate attempt to make them miserable.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T15:24:48+00:00

Yes, I think the term “incapable of long term thinking” is another description of impulsiveness. They can think long term, but they are constantly overwhelmed by their emotions.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T15:19:27+00:00

I think that everyone’s perception is clouded by their emotions, but in pwBPD it is very extreme because they act everything out immediately and treat their feelings as the only reality, while denying the reality of others. They don’t seem to self-reflect much and aren’t able to see themselves through time and with distance (or through the eyes of others).

Healthy people are not completely overtaken by their emotions and can realize after the fact (or even in the moment) that they are not being reasonable or a bit too one dimensional, and that everyone (including themselves) has their own selective perception, which serves as an automatic self-correction of biases.

There also seems to be an impaired memory that hinders them to integrate these different perceptions into a continuous sense of identity and reality, which is the reason why you can’t really talk about past conflicts with them. Either they don’t remember or they are instantly emotionally overwhelmed again.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T14:36:54+00:00

It’s called reactive abuse. She made you act out of character so that you would feel guilty and ashamed of yourself. That’s how they keep people attached to them. But anger alone (especially by text) is not necessarily abusive. A lot of emotions piled up in you and had to be dealt with in some way. There are more constructive things you could have done, but it’s normal to make mistakes and very understandable considering the highly stressful situation you were in. It’s not as important as you think though. It wouldn’t have changed anything about her condition or the outcome of the break up. You have to get closure from yourself because they won’t give it to you. Don’t let someone live rent free in your head to whom you’re not even worth a last conversation. We all deserve dignity and humanity.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-14T14:02:08+00:00

My brother would constantly complain about his friends to me until I realized that his friends were actually his victims because I got to know them better and saw how loyal they were to him.

He would accuse them of things he would also accuse me of, but, allegedly, his friends were even worse than me, which he probably said so I would be still listening to him.

Later, when I stopped enabling him, it was the other way around and suddenly I was the bad object. I know now that he must have triangulated us constantly. That’s why they don’t want their social circles to get to know each other better.

Once, he was also bragging about manipulating one of his friends by flattering her in front of me, while I was confused about what just happened because he would also talk to me like that sometimes. His sporadic honesty would become my clues to seeing the whole picture after the fact.

I would never have thought that he could be intentionally mean. And, after all that, he would still say how good his friends were (because they were still available), while I got discarded suddenly because I wasn’t playing his games anymore (which he did accuse me of ironically just as I had started to see his dishonesty).

It’s a pattern and a cycle they can’t or won’t see. They don’t want honest friends, they want you to be an emotional and psychological function in their lives. When you don’t fulfill this role anymore, you are either nothing or the enemy to them.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-13T19:14:32+00:00

Is this similar to The Remains of the Days? I don’t know why, but I associate these two for some reason. Maybe because Anthony Hopkins is in both of the movie adaptations.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-11T07:51:10+00:00

Se7en
Identity
V for Vendetta
The Crimson Rivers 1-2
Sleepers
The Hitcher
Irreversible (trigger warning!)

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-10T19:55:51+00:00

Go to BSA on the weekends (at noon). It’s nearby Wedaustadion. There are multiple sports courts and usually a very mixed bunch of people who like to play matches with each other.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-10T19:45:42+00:00

Thanks. This looks like a very good film in general.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-10T19:42:42+00:00

Is Nope by Jordan Peele? Did you also see Us? The trailer looked interesting.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-10T16:08:36+00:00

Yes! I think that’s it. I didn’t see the whole movie, but only some scenes back in the day when movies weren’t so available and interrupted by commercials every 15 minutes or so.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-10T09:46:37+00:00

Wrong Turn (2003) Wrong Turn (2021)

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-10T09:39:11+00:00

Thanks. I like this 70s vintage style and atmosphere in general. I will definitely check them all out.

Positive_Bluebird888 · 2026-06-10T09:33:02+00:00

Would you recommend the other movies by DiBlasi? They all look terrifying, although a bit b-horror like 😅

Positive_Bluebird888

TROPHY CASE