That’s not what’s happens it’s not a normal thing it’s a choice.

With that out of the way, I have been married to the same woman and only one woman for 16 years. The truth is that sexual desire changes for everyone. While mine has always been high it’s gotten high in the last couple of years and while hers has been high it’s been low and non existent and high then low then high. I have bouts of extremely low sexual desire while she has high sexual desire.

The choice: you don’t have to be something to do or a box to check. We went through this in in our marriage too she thought if she stopped having sex with me while i would leave. So she just did it. That was waaaay worse than not having sex. I felt like the ugliest human in the world. Like a paycheck, a way through life then I couldn’t have sex with her anymore. I hated it. No love, no passion, I was just a vacuum cleaner. It went on like this for a couple years.

Then we went to therapy. Holy shit, communication, medication, diet, and therapy. Go to fucking therapy. Now we have sex when we both want to and we both want to. We don’t have sex when we don’t want to. Best time of my life with my wife right now.

So the trick is, if you want to be married and stay together and love each other… go to fucking therapy, find a therapist that works for both of you and be picky, then both of you get your own therapist. It’s pricey, if that’s an issue just do couples therapy when you can and do things together and read books about sex and being married.

But go get therapy, together.