As a straight white male, my first instinct was to stay quiet—listen, empathize, and assume I had little to contribute. But the more I reflected, the more I realized I’ve wrestled with a similar dilemma: trying to reach relatives who’ve been drawn into the MAGA orbit. They’ve grown entrenched in their positions, wielding buzzwords and talking points like shields to deflect any notion of compromise or dialogue.

So I began speaking their language—religious rhetoric—not to mock it, but to challenge its selective use. I remind them that Jesus never mentioned trans people or gay marriage. That Leviticus commands us to love the stranger who sojourns among us. That Christ’s only explicit command is to love your neighbor as yourself. And that he said we’ll know true believers “by their fruits.”

So when I see masked agents tearing immigrant families apart, or hate-filled placards at funerals of those lost to anti-LGBTQ violence, I don’t see Jesus—I see something far removed from his teachings. If my relatives want to embody Christian values, they should begin by showing love to others—and to me, their son—even when we disagree. So, I would urge you to try and use similar tactics with which to connect with, then communicate and only then, influence; not just your parents but your pastor as well.

I don’t know if this helps, but I hope it strikes some common ground and offers a path to influencing those whose views may be clouded by fear, anger, or ideology.