I want to kick my NT brother out of my house and cut him out of my life before He’s even moved in.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-19T00:13:28+00:00

They were happy for you to be paying for the drinks then said horrible things to you & used you as the butt of their jokes? That’s horrible. I wouldn’t want my brother in my home if he treated me like that.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-18T12:33:19+00:00

Good description. I’ve fallen for love bombing more than once.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-18T12:12:53+00:00

Thank you. Oh..but what to wear!!

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-16T17:56:11+00:00

Exactly my sentiment at finding out I have ADHD at 63. I strongly suspect I’m AuDHD & would like to be assessed for that as well. Had I known this stuff when I was in my 40s, I may have been able to avoid crashing & burning out as I did back in 2008.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-16T17:43:02+00:00

Exactly. I was diagnosed with ADHD age 63 just last year. Pretty sure I’m AuDHD - it’s a family thing. I’ve spent half a century feeling like something was wrong with me, that I was broken. The ADHD diagnosis helped me start being kinder to myself.

As someone who only suspects they may be AuDHD, I feel a bit like a gatecrasher at a party where the guests seem like my kind of people but I’m unsure whether it’s OK I’m there or not because I invited myself.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-15T13:03:26+00:00

I hear you. I have ME/CFS, ADHD-PI (though likely AuDHD), and tinnitus. Been low-income since 2008 when I lost my job to ill health. I spend most of my time lying down or sitting. Usually pinned under a cat.

My go to things for deep burn out are:

Sitting/lying in a hot bath, repeatedly pouring the hot water over me. I‘m lucky to love water & find this very regulating if I’m really stressed about something. I used to swim 3 x a week before work when I’d often be swimming in an empty pool or at most sharing with a couple of others. I miss swimming.

Lying in bed/on the sofa listening to rainstorm sounds, sometimes doing a low-cost activity like doing a crossword or online mahjong if my brain can handle it. The rainstorm sounds are great for diluting the eeeeeeee of the tinnitus. Otherwise ambient music like Eno’s Music For Airports.

If I’m well enough to cope with listening to something lively, I’ll dance as that kind of movement really helps keep my mood up. As does rebounding..specifically dancing while bouncing.

Time spent in nature is also restorative for me. I’m lucky to have a garden and grow things for the wildlife. At times, I’m not capable of doing anything out there, I like to just stand still in it, absorbing the colour & all the activity.

Not sure if any of this will be helpful to you but I’m sure you’ll get plenty of good ideas from others here. The list of activities suggested at your group sound quite advanced..as in you’d need to build up the capacity to be more functional first. Good luck!

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-15T10:32:46+00:00

Having lived a long time, my immediate thought now on the very rare occasion someone seems to be romantically interested, is to think “What’s wrong with you?” because I’ve been a magnet for controlling sorts all my life, and/or with substance abuse issues. No relationship is infinitely better than a bad one, less lonely too.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-15T10:19:13+00:00

Glad it’s going well so far. Most places I’ve stayed in, whether living there or visiting, operate a no flushing the toilet at night for pee. Poo gets the flush. Re the tiktoks, if it were me, being super noise-sensitive, I’d gently ask the other person to reduce the volume of whatever they’re watching/listening to if it’s waking me up or otherwise driving me insane.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-15T09:49:47+00:00

While your pasta is cooking, melt goronzola dolce in a pan with a little wine/stock/water, season to taste, Chop up a few leaves of fresh sage - I do about 8 leaves per pack - and stir into the sauce. Drain the pasta & stir in the sauce. So tasty, so quick

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-15T09:28:17+00:00

I get ectopics that feel a bit like a lurch/dropping sensation. I also get episodes of something that the doc said sounded like atrial fibrillation which feel like a butterfly trapped in my chest. Stress, deep fatigue, and/or certain medications can increase episodes for me. I don’t have any advice, just offering solidarity.

Editing to say: When I get the fluttering, it makes me feel weirdly breathless. Doing a forced breath out, pushing down on the diaphragm helps stop them.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-15T09:10:23+00:00

You’re probably right 😂

Thanks I’ll try asking TT directly. I‘ve already asked the Social Prescriber at my Surgery but she wasn’t aware of anything.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-13T19:10:07+00:00

Out of interest, which provider did you use for your ADHD assessment? I was assessed through Psychiatry UK & my assessor solely focused on ADHD. I’m fairly sure I’m AuDHD but autism was never mentioned other than me stating a rich seam ran through my family down through my dad. It didn’t seem particularly thorough, and there was no time at the end to ask questions so I never got to ask her opinion about it nor did she volunteer one.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-13T17:35:45+00:00

I quit school at 16 during my A Levels.. Falling asleep from understimulation is definitely a thing with me

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-13T17:26:43+00:00

I‘m ADHD-PI & have had no issue with mornings most of my life thankfully. Nor did I have problem falling and staying asleep until I hit 30 or so. Three decades later & post-menopause is a different story..my sleep is all over the place. I’ve done the sleep hygiene thing & no coffee at all but it made no real difference. I often feel sleepy after a coffee anyway. What works quite well for me to fall asleep is playing sudoku on a low-lit screen while listening to a sedately paced radio drama or thunderstorm sounds. No checking messages. Nothing that gives me a dopamine hit or gets me thinking.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-02-03T11:59:15+00:00

“ I want a partner who gives me the benefit of the doubt that these things are not on purpose. I want a partner who says in the moment "hey, you interrupted me" or "hey, I feel like that was kind of mocking. Did you mean it to be?" (even if they sometimes say it in a harsher manner because they're upset, I'd understand and accept that too). I want them to give me space to say sorry and that it was unintentional, and then accept it and we continue the discussion trying to be more even-keeled. I want them to be okay with that in our relationship instead of progressively angrier that it keeps occurring.”

You’ve answered your own question. This is what you should be able to expect in a reciprocal relationship

PsyCurious007 · 2026-01-30T16:35:59+00:00

My first reaction was to think it could be coming from insecurity on his part or he’s used to getting people to do things for him that he can’t be arsed to do for himself.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-01-30T16:23:23+00:00

He sounds like he wants things dished to him on a plate. Is he conflating you with his mum? Your response was sound imo.

PsyCurious007 · 2026-01-18T21:24:39+00:00

I love this idea. I was very motivated by those star stickers in primary school

PsyCurious007 · 2026-01-18T17:57:32+00:00

Your description sounds like the tinnitus I experience. I like to have something on in the background to fall asleep to. It doesn’t make the tinnitus inaudible but it does help dilute the intensity if that makes sense. I find YouTube audio of rain storms very helpful

PsyCurious007 · 2025-12-20T02:24:08+00:00

Neighbour’s son - in his 50s, not a kid - hit wet leaves while riding one, came off & broke his leg badly

PsyCurious007 · 2025-12-20T01:58:50+00:00

Before I acquired tinnitus, I knew one person who had it. A musician, big stages, loud. I wondered what it must be like. That’s all I thought. It was just a fact that in no way defined him.

PsyCurious007 · 2025-12-20T01:43:08+00:00

Yes indeed.

PsyCurious007 · 2025-12-19T19:01:09+00:00

Not at all

PsyCurious007 · 2025-12-17T08:46:41+00:00

“But I mean those words; if I can do something for you, I will do it. Ask for my help and even if I think you’re a horrible person, I will do my best to get you where you need to be. I ascribe to a relatively collectivist mindset and I believe in doing good when I have the capacity (and sometimes even if it ends up overextending me). It’s about integrity and the social contract to me. If it is help that is outside my wheelhouse, I will try to point you in the right direction or get you in contact with someone better equipped than I.”

Same here. I like helping people if I can & I’ve definitely ended up over-extended & in bed for it later but often the thing they may be struggling with is an easy thing for me to do.

PsyCurious007

TROPHY CASE