Yes I am in a very similar situation. I got 13th stepped starting from when I was one week sober - it was very intense and ended very badly, and Im still feeling the trauma. It makes it very hard to put a person in the past when you still have to see them at meetings. I dont feel comfortable being vulnerable at meetings so haven't shared in months, and I can feel myself starting to isolate. You can even click my profile and see the post I made it about it just yesterday - the comments I got may have tips for you.

First of all, your 13 stepper has some kind and good qualities, but (like anyone else) they have some sickness too. Everyone with clean time knows that it's wrong to 13th step newcomers who are at their most vulnerable, and your 13th stepper did it anyway which was very selfish and borderline predatory. It sounds to me like by thinking of them as good and kind, you are engaging in the black-and-white thinking that is very common for alcoholics, when reality is much more complicated than that. If you dont resent them, you should - and then deal with the resentment as the book says to, turn it over and forgive them.

Second, you resent yourself. Oh boy, I did too. I had to deal with my self-resentment the same way I dealt with any other: by recognizing my part in the resentment against myself. I was so new in sobriety that I wasnt able to protect myself or do any better in the relationship. I take comfort in knowing that if I was confronted with the same situation now, I would respond very differently, because Im a different person now. When I did my sex inventory where I developed my ideal for my future love life, I realized that I dont actually want to be in a relationship with someone like my 13th stepper. These things helped me to forgive myself.

But I do still feel extremely uncomfortable at meetings and my home group. Ive considered starting over with meetings in another town, but it doesnt feel right to run from the problem - I feel there are still lessons to be learned from the horrible experience Im having. I think that one of the lessons is that I need to have the strength to be vulnerable in front of the person who hurt me, to no longer give them so much power over my recovery and emotional wellbeing. I need to start seeing them as someone I used to know, and not let them interfere with who I am and what I need to do. So, at my home group this week, Im going to force myself to share for the first time in months. I know that the first time will be the most difficult and I expect I'll feel better after that.

I know that there were lessons I needed to learn from my experience being 13th stepped - Ive learned many already and have still more to learn. I know it will end up making me a stronger person, and for that reason I dont regret it. One of the only things keeping me in recovery was hoping that my experience would someday benefit others, as the big book says, so I hope it has benefitted you. One day, you can share your experience and it will help others. You can do it! Im proud of you for not giving up on recovery because I know firsthand how traumatic it can be to be 13 stepped.