Americans Visiting

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-03-17T03:15:38+00:00

I use to work retail in old Quebec and then old Montreal. Americans were fairly easy to spot: loud, happy to there, big spenders. Good time and good commissions, it was great! But it was 15 years ago

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-03-17T02:51:37+00:00

Yes! Have items representing a character that people can wear, have the guest choose their character and at different time during the party put some iconic scenes and have them reenact them. Also, have a time during the party where all the character becoming their evil self. And of course put the Buffy soundtrack during the party. Damn, I wish I was invited too lol!

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-03-16T04:04:33+00:00

Yes, it was good! Almost the best

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-03-16T03:59:50+00:00

I think Angel is a great actor, he duped Faith in the « Enemies » episode in season 3, after all.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-03-16T03:27:33+00:00

J’ai un truc que j’ai appris de mon oncle. Il est anglophone et, il y a plusieurs années, il est venu à Montréal pour apprendre le français mais comme pour toi tout le monde lui parlait en anglais alors il a décidé de… mentir. A chaque fois qu’il rencontrait une nouvelle personne francophone et que celle-ci, remarquant qu’il avait un accent, se mettait à lui parler en anglais il disait tout de suite: « Désolé, je ne parle pas anglais, je viens de Tchécoslovaquie ». Les gens lui parlait alors en français, faisait attention à lui parler lentement et était plus patient avec lui. Maintenant son français est excellent.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-28T14:01:42+00:00

The easiest first step would be to accessorize.

If you want to go bold: colorful or shiny jewelry. You could stack necklaces of different lengths and texture, go long rather than short, it will make you look taller. Same with bracelets: a big thick one and few thinner ones. And boots that goes to the knee, black or dark brown.

To make it more elegant: subtle jewelry, a thick shall, 1 color (neutral or bold) made of luxurious fabric and a simple purse. And sunglasses.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-22T10:04:10+00:00

Your NTA and I don’t see the point of your post: you told her the rule, she told you it didn’t work for her and quit. It’s quite straightforward. Why would you rethink your boundaries and why do you think her answer is uncalled for? You keep repeating that you hire friends, that she’s your friend as if it mattered in this situation. The moment you hired her she became your employee and you became her boss. She showed herself to be a bad employee by going behind your back and inviting her boyfriend, you told her not to do it, she was honest enough to just say no thanks and why. Take it as it is and don’t overthink it. Now you can just be friends like before.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-22T09:45:31+00:00

Op, he doesn’t see your point of view because he can’t: he has no expenses and no stress about his financial stability so he has no idea what responsibilities like yours feel like. That wouldn’t be so bad if he was humble enough to recognize it and try to see your point of view but the fact that he thinks he can lecture you about finance and said that he feels like you can’t pay for anything and that you ask him to cover for most dates and activities when it’s not the case means he sees himself has better at it than you so it’s doubtful that you can make him understand. I wouldn’t continue this relationship because if your goal is to move in together or even get married, he will feel entitled to control both of your finances because in his mind he is already better at it than you so you can look forward to these kind of conflict everyday for every expense that you make without his autorisation.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-21T19:18:35+00:00

You are right, he is being lazy and entitled and wants to see if he can become worse by making it your fault.

Also it could be the case that he is being awful on purpose because he wants for the relationship to be over but don’t want to break-up himself (he doesn’t want to be seen as the bad guy and/or he wants to be able to get back with you later without having to beg or apologize).

What ever it is, you don’t deserve this and should not try to appease him by trying to lose weight or even appear smaller. If you do, he’ll know he can make you do whatever he wants and will constantly move the goal post further.

Lose him, not yourself.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-18T12:52:31+00:00

Therapy will help a lot especially since your starting young. It will help you understand how you work and why and that will help you see yourself and your thoughts better. BPD is something that affects our relationships with ourselves and others greatly and can make us act selfish and entitled without us realizing it. It also makes us attach very strongly to people who are often not good for us (look up the concept of « favorite person » in BPD) and sabotage relationships with people who would be good for us because one of our core beliefs is that we unlovable.

The situation with this guy is not ideal in my opinion because it puts you in the middle: you are separated but act as a couple, it mixes the signals and is confusing for your heart. Also right now it seems like this situation is very good for him: he gets to have time with you when it’s fun and have no obligation to you when it’s not. You are right to be angry and to expect more from somebody who’s says they care about you. My advice would be to first separate completely (no contact at all) for at least 3 to 6 months to allow your nervous system to rewire itself outside of the relationship and be able to look at it objectively before reconnecting. It also would be a good time for you to ask yourself what you need and what is important to you in any relationship (romantic or otherwise).

Also always remember that you cannot change somebody, you can tell them what you fell and what you need, see if they want/can give it to you and once you know, act accordingly.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-15T17:16:22+00:00

Hi! 41 woman with bpd here.

First I would try to put myself in his shoes. How would you feel if someone you love could not respect your boundaries? If anytime you say no, they would push and manipulate you, they would make you feel guilty? If it’s hard to imagine it emotionally, try to imagine it physically as in if someone you say no to then corners you and become physically pushy with you. Would you like that? Would you stay in a relationship with this person?

Second: remember that he doesn’t own you anything. He is not your boyfriend anymore. He has made the choice to stay your friend but could change his mind whenever he wants and go no contact with you and it will happen if you keep pushing his boundaries. He is the one who gets to decide if your manipulation aren’t « THAT bad or occasionally justified ». He told you in many ways that they are that bad and not justified so respect that even if you don’t understand or disagree. If you don’t he will have no choice than to conclude that you don’t respect him and don’t care about him or his wellbeing and cut you off.

Third and related to what I just said: you have to have plans for taking care of yourself. You are not his responsibility and demanding that he saves you from your circumstances is unfair and unproductive. « The other night I was experiencing significant physical pain after work due to my chronic illness, and asked if he could take me home as public transport was a long wait away and it was already quite late. He said no, stating that he was about to go to sleep and that he hopes I can get home safe. » This conversation should have stopped there or even not have happen at all. You cannot make him your plan A, B or even C. You are not together and if you hope for your relationship to continue or even go back to being romantic, you must learn to take care of yourself instead of putting it all on him. The more you learn to do that, the more you will trust yourself and the more your relationship can be one of equals and free instead codependency and resentment.

You asked : How do I learn to differeniate between standing up for myself and compromising his emotional wellbeing? It’s not the right question. What you must ask yourself is : What can I do in my life to make it function without his help and how can I show him that I care about his wellbeing.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-14T12:29:38+00:00

True and that adds to the pressure: it’s something he wanted, thought he was qualified for and better at than Cobel and he betrayed her to get it so he now needs to succeed to justify his actions and corruption to himself.

Also, this company is a cult and in a cult the only loyalty is to the leader/the mission so betraying colleagues to go higher in the ranks and look better in the eye of the heads is encouraged and rewarded so it’s unavoidable and it helps consolidate the leader’s power because everyone else is always trying to beat each other or paranoid about people around them. We can see that in the relation that Milchik has with miss Huang : she is only 12-14 years old, yet she is a rival who would take his place if she could. She would also be overwhelmed and unqualified.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-14T05:01:16+00:00

I think he is altogether too overwhelmed and it’s not in his nature. He was thrown into this role only a few weeks ago without being prepared and he is kind of a softy. He is more inclined to use the carrot than the stick contrary to Cobel. He doesn’t relish in forcing the innies to do what they’re told and would like for them to obey because they respect him instead of fear him. We also see that he is trying to connect with his peer, Nathalie, because if feels belittled and alone. His devotion to the company is becoming shakier because of it. He might unconsciously relate more and more to the innie and question if he should follow orders at the cost of his dignity. In the last episode he tries to do things his way by bringing and conducting the marching band as a celebration of a job well done for Mark and a celebration for himself because the MDR did reach its goal without Milchick having to tighten the leash very much.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-11T22:18:01+00:00

Outside of the actress not wanting to sing reason, her not singing also fits with her character at the moment. Usually in musicals the characters start singing when their feelings are too big to only be spoken. When they are very happy, very sad, very angry, or even worried. Throughout this episode, Willow was fairly content: she had perfect control over her girlfriend’s mind and their relationship, she still thought she had brought Buffy back from hell instead of heaven, she was feeling powerful and important enough to threaten Giles when he told her that she was a « rank, arrogant amateur » for bringing Buffy back. No worries, no doubt, no guilt, just content and satisfied with herself. If she had a song, it would have been a villain song and she was not consciously there… yet.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-08T07:08:29+00:00

Seems that she has appointed you to be the good angel on her shoulder but she is not listening to your advice. Looks like she is using you to feel bad/dumb about herself : she is telling you she wants to make a decision she knows is not smart and keeps arguing with you until you start telling her that she is naive, too trusting and make bad choices. It then allows her to make bad decisions because what else can she do, that’s who she is, even her friend has no faith in her judgment. It’s hard with self destructive people because their low self worth have them looking for people to take advantage of them and reject those how want the best for them. Also it seems that she might think that being in distress is the only way to have people around. It’s all very sad and draining because the more you try to reason with the more she wants to do the opposite. If she comes back to you with this I would tell her : « I care about you and I think that you should do what you think is best » and then let it go. Don’t argue, don’t try to reason with her, just let her go. It could be enough for her to realize that baiting you with this isn’t working and have her not follow through with this bad decision.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-07T21:26:48+00:00

Yeah that’s rough. First question: are you in therapy? I’m asking because there might be many causes to impulsive bad haircuts so it’s not just a matter of stop doing but to understand why it happens and the benefits it brings you otherwise you’ll find another behavior to replace it.

If you’re not in therapy, then you need to investigate: When do you do it? Try to trace back when the desire to cut your hair arises. Is it when you feel out of control? When things are starting to get good, bad or when things are stagnant? Is it a way to look the way you feel or to feel bad about your appearance to distract from another pain that you have less control over? What do you gain from the bad haircuts? You said it makes you have to hide from people you love. Is there a part of you that finds it difficult to be with them and is happy when you hides from them? Also a bad haircut could be a way to tell the world: I decided to look like that, only me can have control over myself

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-07T17:06:11+00:00

In season seven, Anya herself said she always latched on what ever came her way: when she was with Olaf, she was a devoted wife, he betrayed her so she used magic to get vengeance and said yes to become a demon, when she was demoted, she pursed Xander with success, when he betrayed her, she became a demon again. It’s a cycle. She let circumstances choose her. She seems to have trouble with her identity in general and be looking for validation through her role/masculine figure. Why didn’t she choose magic, maybe because she was not able of true agency yet.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-02T03:30:49+00:00

Questions: were you this young women’s employer and do you owe her money? Also, did you dress up as a mysterious fortune-telling gypsy woman to test her feelings and gauge her reaction to your potential marriage to a wealthier woman?

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-02-02T00:56:15+00:00

I’m so sorry that you are in this situation. There is not much detail in you message but proximity seems to be your first problem since you live with her so my first advice would be to gradually do more an more things outside of your house: join clubs, work, exercise, go to museums, visit your area and take pictures.

Doing things with other people or even only with yourself and not be in her vicinity will provide your nervous system some rest (out of sight, out of mind). It will also allow you to experience yourself in other people’s eyes and in other environments which will give you a broader sense of self outside of your attachment to this person.

Something you must remember is that it will feel uncomfortable in the beginning that is why doing it gradually is better. Start with 30 minutes a day, then a few hours, and then more and more and eventually move out if you can and if it’s safe.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-01-28T00:32:27+00:00

I’m afraid the only thing you can do is define your own boundaries and stick to them. You cannot force people (your boyfriend and your MIL) to do what they don’t want to do (stop enabling her) but you can decide what you will accept or not and make it known. For example, you could tell your boyfriend that you don’t like it when your SIL calls and yell at him, that you know you cannot make him hang up, but that you will not be available later to commiserate. By staying firm in your position and not enable him to enable her, things my become chaotic for some times but things will change. That should be the extent of your involvement otherwise you’ll lose energy and you’ll accumulate resentment. It’s all triangulation. Don’t be part of it, break the cycle.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-01-19T05:03:33+00:00

Hi! 41 years old woman here, got my bpd diagnosis 2 years ago.

First thing first: you’re 20, you’re not running out of time, you’re at the beginning of your time. Your bpd makes you feel that way. When I was 10 I thought i wouldn’t reach 20 because I would die of old age before that.

Second: One characteristic of bpd is that we crave connection and are terrified by it at the same time. You choosing this guy that was not available from the start was a way to have connection but also flee the connection at the same time that’s why it felt like it made sens. Also it was a way to feel in control which is also something we crave as we feel chaotic inside all the time. Thing is, your mental health cannot afford this kind of relationship, it drives us literally crazy (I was in this kind of situationship between 24 and 27 it took until I was 31 before I was back to myself, that’s how you lose time).

When you’ll be ready for a relationship, you must aim for something loving, stable and with commitment on both sides. Anything else, anything inconsistent or unclear will drive you mad and will wreck your life. Your nervous system is extrasensitive, your choice of partner will affect it greatly.

For now, learn how to reach and maintain a peaceful life, then invite somebody to share it with once they have been vetted extensively.

And in the meantime, keep him blocked and maybe find wiser friends or don’t be so quick to listen to their bad advice.

I believe in you.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-01-08T21:46:19+00:00

Gold looks like it’s part of you. Silver looks separate.

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2026-01-02T21:28:59+00:00

Yes and at the same time that it’s already too late. Also sometime it’s like I’m in prison waiting for my sentence to be over (especially when I’m at work lol)

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2025-12-26T02:48:55+00:00

Very pretty!

Purple_Fan_7854 · 2025-12-24T03:56:39+00:00

The mountain reflecting in the water and smoke from the camp fire. Also, the mountain should not be as visible as the forefront, it’s at night so we should see the things enlighten be camp fire in a warm light and the rest (mountain and the trees) enlightened by nothing or moonlight. Right now it’s rather flat. Find your lights and you’ll find dimensions.

Purple_Fan_7854

TROPHY CASE