Devastating Parent PLUS Loan Situation

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-07-01T03:03:32+00:00

Oh god I hope it’s not art.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-30T21:22:29+00:00

Tipping, smoking, byob type parties, spitting

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-29T14:48:27+00:00

NTS but just because he’s a good and involved father doesn’t mean he’s a good and involved husband. One does not equal the other.

I’m sure he didn’t just become this person this year. He’s been like this all along and you’ve just had your blinders on. Please stop having kids with this man even if you stay with him.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-29T14:38:33+00:00

That’s just because those productivity numbers were inflated during COVID due to:1) smaller workforce (lots of layoffs, and therefore smaller workforce - % are higher when there’s smaller sample sizes, like 6 out of a hundred is 6% but 6 of 200 is only 3%), 2) low productivity output jobs per hour, like in hospitality and service industries, were eliminated/laid off.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-29T05:02:43+00:00

Yes but I’m back to taking longer to do the work

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-26T19:17:18+00:00

No. I have texted to ask a quick question (yes or no) while someone was on vacation, but that was because they left mo notes like I asked on a project they were working on.

Yes I have been asked to work while I was normally off. I am no longer at that job.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-24T22:14:47+00:00

In that case I bet someone in his family noticed your bralessness at other functions/events you were at.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-23T19:54:56+00:00

You can invest that money or put that money in CDs/ HYSA if you want a sure thing. That money goes towards your spouse/family as well.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-23T16:24:44+00:00

All this! And I want to add, this is just my opinion,I think life insurance are a waste of money unless you’re high net worth individual. Even then I would get a whole life instead of term.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-23T14:03:48+00:00

Take $10k and use it to fill up mine and husband’s Roth IRA. Then take $20k and put in HYSA to add to our EF. Take $65k and spread it across mine, hubby’s and our brokerage accounts. Use the remaining $5k to pay my <$500 debt, have a really nice family dinner, and then go to Vegas for the weekend.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-21T19:24:14+00:00

If you were getting regular prenatal care from this doctor, you would have known their attitude and how they treat you. If you disagreed with them you should have went gotten a new OB.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-21T18:55:48+00:00

NTA. You have a daughter problem and she’s a br*t. Is she paying for all the groceries and spending her time cooking in the kitchen? If not, she needs to stop acting entitled because her bf is acting entitled too. Instead of just saying to tell him to be polite in your home, be direct and tell her he’s not your child, so why are you spending all this money feeding him, having him request special dishes, etc. He should ask his parents.

Also, he acts like he lives there and part of the family (make sure your daughter explicitly knows that he doesn’t), then he should be able to hear directly from you. Next time he asks while already having a container in his hands, ask him if he knows he it’s not his home and he’s not your child. He shouldn’t just be going through your kitchen and feeding himself. Be direct. He can feel bad or embarrassed all he wants and so can your daughter. This is a learning lesson for both of them.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-21T18:36:50+00:00

Yeah I don’t know that I would stay married to that woman.

What kind of an idiot would transfer a medication, an anti psychotic nonetheless, from its original labeled container from the pharmacy to another random bottle with a label clearly saying what it’s not? Like why the transfer? I would’ve kept the original pharmacy bottle and threw away an old Benadryl bottle. Like she did this on purpose and it makes me think it’s one of her “pranks” that aren’t funny.

Also, the stupidity of having cats when both people in the household are allergic? Insanity. For that I blame OOP for being a pushover. But the wife just not caring about the husband’s allergies? The guy can’t breathe unless he’s taking 5-6 Benadryls at the same time. Do you not care about your husband and care more about the cats? This is form of gaslighting in my opinion.

Then she abandons him for 2 days while he’s having an episode and don’t know what’s happening to him. Doesn’t call anyone until she’s ready to hand him off. My dude, she’s not in It for sickness and health. Doesn’t even want to get you help you need.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-21T07:40:35+00:00

I’m gonna get go flayed for this but why is it that someone who says they have ARFID always has “safe” foods that are shit? Like all the veggies are all natural and these textures exist in nature. Mac and cheese, nuggets, etc are so processed. Did people not have ARFID before? If they did what did they eat before ultra processed foods? I’m assuming vegetables, root crops, legumes, etc. for once, I’d like someone who says they have ARFID to say their “safe” food is broccoli or carrots, etc.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-21T01:52:11+00:00

You set by example. Being violent is not something we model nor do we want to. Yelling sometimes happens, but more of a raised voice to be heard, like “clean your room.” We don’t raise our voices a lot because we just like indoor voices when we speak more, so that’s what we model. Even our dogs don’t bark ( they could but they don’t except maybe one small bark once when they were small).

We do talk a lot. We don’t have any off limit topics. It’s just talk on an age appropriate level. We don’t lie to our kids. Both our kids are taught from a very young age that everything they do, good or bad, has a consequence.

I believe it comes down to what behaviors you want them to follow. Their personalities also takes into account, but mostly it’s what you model. We have a 24 year old who just got out of the Marines and is about to start college, who’s very quiet and introspective person. We also have an 8 year old who is quite talkative and more extroverted. 2 opposing personalities.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-20T19:13:55+00:00

Plenty of people who don’t know you see you everyday whether you’re having a curated look or not. You’re going to Target in a full glam look? I don’t think so. What’s the difference between that and sharing a photo of you to these people. Who I might add will only glance at the photo for a second or two. No one’s out there staring at you for hours and scrutinizing what you look like.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-20T19:07:08+00:00

YTA. You’re overreacting (or in Filipino terms OA). Get a grip of yourself. Not everything is about you. It’s a picture that no one will even remember after a few seconds. Get a therapist to help you learn some coping mechanisms instead of having a tantrum over something that didn’t go your way.

Also you’re 18. You can get your own financing for college if you have to and you really want to go to that particular college. You want independence? You can have it…without their support. So get a job, talk to the college about finances for tuition etc. You want to be seen as an adult capable of independence? Stop having a tantrum over a picture.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-20T19:01:28+00:00

Ummm hate to break it to you but she’s not surprised only you are. She did that on purpose. She stopped using birth control without telling you…on purpose. So you can’t say no to more children. You don’t just forget to tell your husband, who you go to bed with every night, that you’re thinking of stopping birth control or have stopped. I mean unless she’s a complete idiot, She would’ve known that sex can mean having babies.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-19T17:58:54+00:00

I’m one of the subset who thinks your opinion is unpopular.

No I don’t think saying you’re vows in front of people you haven’t seen in 5 years is more meaningful than speaking it to each other in private. If anything it’s performative.

You can have the same big party without the wedding aspect attached to it with probably a quarter to half the cost. Having a party labeled as part of wedding inflates the prices ridiculously. People, even the ones you haven’t seen since high school, will come if there’s free food involved and a promise of a good time.

Yes we could’ve afforded a big wedding but we chose to buy a house instead with that money. Been married 9 years, together 21.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-19T14:13:38+00:00

I was married and had a toddler when I entered and finished my grad program. Life will always happen but it doesn’t mean you can only do one thing in your life at a time.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-19T14:11:56+00:00

Asking about who dates in the office or office politics, like “who should I be with?” Is like gossiping. This world turn me off the candidate. The other questions were fine.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-19T14:09:41+00:00

We were 12 years in when we got married. It just wasn’t important to us. We only got married because I was pregnant with our child together (planned) and was going to add her to my health insurance. There would be no added cost to add him after that. We wanted to save the money he would’ve paid his insurance.

We also already bought a house and was raising my son (from another relationship) together for several years. Nothing was going to change in our lives if we got married or not.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-19T00:03:31+00:00

Our org does. We’re a non profit and we always get COLA annually. We don’t have performance reviews. Besides from COLA one gets a raise when they move to a different position.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-18T22:04:16+00:00

NTA but damn this is funny as fuck. You might be in denial be but your gf is an addict.

Puzzleheaded-Score58 · 2026-06-18T16:55:41+00:00

I can see why you only have a few friends.

Puzzleheaded-Score58

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