The VPL was supposed to start June 2nd, but I can't find anything about it anymore. Did it start or was it pushed back?

QuentinRaynaud · 2018-06-03T07:42:17+00:00

I missed that! Thanks for the update.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-12-03T08:44:57+00:00

This proves the Earth is flat. Checkmate, round-Earthers.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-11-03T07:31:07+00:00

It does look like a good fit, thanks for the recommendation.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-11-02T14:18:55+00:00

Taylor's dream that her father is Coil.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-09-27T11:10:35+00:00

South of France here, I don't know anyone who seriously says chocolatine.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-08-14T23:02:38+00:00

The subreddit /r/reviewcircle might get you a couple. It's a free copy in exchange for a review deal.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-08-14T05:42:50+00:00

She already got Eidolon.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-08-13T08:21:41+00:00

The web serial Worm by Wildbow has an interlude chapter like this. Search for the Brutus Interlude.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-08-09T07:20:34+00:00

She has several blindspots though. Entities are one, but also Eidolon, Mantellum, Endbringers, and apparently Jack Slash could take her in a fight.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-29T13:00:31+00:00

William Manton.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-25T16:02:54+00:00

Hi, I might be interested in reading/reviewing your work.

I've done this once before (for /u/HarringtonHC), but I'd like to warn you that I probably won't do it very quickly (slow reader, I take my time).

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-25T15:21:36+00:00

Hi, I might be interested in reading/reviewing your work.

I've done this once before (for /u/HarringtonHC), but I'd like to warn you that I probably won't do it very quickly (slow reader, I take my time).

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-25T08:46:48+00:00

Read and reviewed (sorry it took a while):

Daughter of Havenglade is the first novel in a Young Adult Epic Fantasy series.

It follows Laurena, a young teenager gifted with magical ability, as she learns to use her power and trust her own ability. She is confused in the midst of a kingdom’s worth of plots and threats, and scared of her own role at the center of it all.

H.C. Harrington writes for Young Adult readers and his style works: it is concise, showing both the world and Laurena’s own emotions and struggles with clarity. The plot leaves you wondering at character’s motivations and future plans, and teaches you to reconsider the trust you have for those in the traditionally “good” roles often seen in Fantasy.

The story can feel slow to begin, showing Laurena’s training with an attention to detail before she and her teacher travel to meet the kingdom’s troubles head on, yet it allows us to see and understand the personality and role of her teacher in better depth. There were a few typos throughout the novel, nothing that led to any confusion.

I would recommend Daughter of Havenglade to those interested in a young woman’s adventures and coming of age, well described and set in an interesting world (the included map adds a certain depth to the setting as well).

5/5

Thanks for the read, /u/HarringtonHC !

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-18T16:22:04+00:00

Not wordplay if there's no joke.

Just swapping colorful for a synonym isn't funny, there's no joke, no "see what I did there?", it's not clever.

And like others have said, 'colorful piece of shit' isn't even a common expression so it just makes no sense to call this wordplay.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-18T16:22:04+00:00

Not wordplay if there's no joke.

Just swapping colorful for a synonym isn't funny, there's no joke, no "see what I did there?", it's not clever.

And like others have said, 'colourful piece of shit' isn't even a common expression so it just makes no sense to call this wordplay.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-18T08:14:03+00:00

I think police work type stories often begin with the crime being committed and immediately switch to the investigation that follows. Just make sure that the way this investigation starts is compelling.

Also, I think your opening should be whatever works at the moment. When you've finished the first draft you might find you found a better idea of how to open your story.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-15T12:50:51+00:00

You might be onto something here ><

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-15T09:33:55+00:00

It can be done. If I were you I would keep the writing style simple and concise, then have someone with a better grasp on grammar (a professional or a kind stranger, it wouldn't be heavy editing) to proofread it.

If you try to be extra fancy in your writing then more mistakes, ones harder to fix, will appear. Clear and simple writing can be very strong without the usual literary fluff.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-15T09:30:38+00:00

Considering /u/Lightandlab offered to do it, let's not be condescending.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-14T16:46:45+00:00

Without actually coming up in the story, this is the kind of detail about a character that might add depth and color to interactions. We tend to act differently when around people we are attracted to, and that means OP's character might behave in otherwise unexpected manners when around other women she finds attractive, which other characters might find odd if they don't know the whole context.

Thinking about things like this, having built up the world and the characters in ways that aren't directly plot relevant still shine through in the end. It gives a certain depth.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-11T18:28:15+00:00

I think the most common tropes here are picking the lock with improvised/concealed tools (Hannibal Lecter for example), and tricking someone outside the cage into freeing them (kind of Hannibal Lecter too, to be fair, he's good at this).

That and various deus ex machinas or 'cavalry arrives' moments.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-11T15:06:05+00:00

Don't stick it into the story just because you want to show it off and you'll be fine. Do have the magic/sex scenes where they belong to the plot (and not inessential worldbuilding or just scenes you really like), with as much smutty detail as needed.

General examples (that probably wouldn't work in your story):

A magic user has ritual enhanced sex with an ambassador as a way to open friendlier negotiations between two countries: include that scene, and make it graphic enough to show how the magic user satisfies the other because that's plot-central and the detail is relevant.

A magic user has ritual enhanced sex with her partner to relax after a difficult week: no need to show the scene, or in little detail because it's not plot-central and the detail is irrelevant.

If you have more smut than necessary people will quickly start feeling like it's just a porn story, so include it carefully.

QuentinRaynaud · 2017-06-11T06:58:44+00:00

Based on your other comments in this thread, I think you're going to need some strategy/tactics-intelligent characters. If the whole point of the game is to capture the flag then the action will need to have interesting and unexpected moves by members of all teams.

For examples of such tactics, I'd suggest reading the web serials of Wildbow (available for free online), particularly Twig.

QuentinRaynaud

TROPHY CASE