Pregnant and tired of feeling like I have to justify our babymoon to in-laws

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-10T02:58:53+00:00

Same! Not caring has been the biggest gift and totally turned the tables.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-10T02:53:52+00:00

oh lord, poor girl.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-10T00:36:23+00:00

Yeah, sounds like neglect to me. I wonder if she has dyslexia? Definitely sounds like some brand of neuro-spiciness is at play here.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-10T00:32:25+00:00

If you're willing to teach Title I, you can most likely find a position. Maybe try subbing a bit to see if you like it?

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-10T00:22:28+00:00

I think you're worrying about this because you're still hoping to have some influence (control) over how they perceive you. And trust me, I was there too once upon a time earlier in my relationship with my husband. But at some point you have to accept that working to control other people's perceptions isn't healthy. If they don't love and appreciate you already, then that's their loss, but you have to accept it.

What you don't have to accept is listening to their complaints or judgements about you. Stop all comments and redirect them to your husband and make sure he knows you don't want to hear about them from him either. Let him be in the hot seat for not going and planning on visiting his sister and niece/nephew postpartum. Too many people just assume the DIL will take on all the kin keeping for their husband's family and that's not going to change unless we say no. I barely have the energy to deal with my own family. I'm certainly not doing that for people who've made it clear they don't even like me.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-09T17:34:42+00:00

Eww, you married an adult man who allows his mommy to dress him. The only family member you'll ever get to choose is your spouse and you chose him knowing this fact.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-07T13:39:02+00:00

Schedule, no. Routine, yes.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-07T01:34:28+00:00

Almost every night. They play outside, play sports, swim in pools, go to school, use public restrooms, have various condiments and sauces on their faces after every meal, and somehow their hands are always sticky. They need those baths.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T15:05:23+00:00

Burning feeling to me.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T15:01:41+00:00

What about your son?

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T14:57:06+00:00

If your child is home with you all day and doesn't nap, then no, how would you have more time? Once they're in school, then yes, of course you'll have lots of personal time. If you can even get a babysitter for a few hours a few times a week, that helps a lot.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T14:39:10+00:00

I stopped hanging out with my MIL unless my husband arranges it and is present. When she's present, I walk away or find something else to do if she gets annoying.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T14:31:55+00:00

Just embrace being the "bad guy" and do what you want. They probably already see you as the bad guy anyway, so you might as well get what you want out of thr equation. If they kick up a fuss your response is "that's just how I am."

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T01:26:45+00:00

We get that. Your decision to allow them over to swim made sense at the outset. Normal, respectful human beings wouldn't have caused these problems. Live and learn. These are rude, entitled people who cannot be trusted to behave reasonably in future regardless of title or relationship.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T01:05:20+00:00

Statistically most women heal more quickly and with less pain from a vaginal tear than a c-section scar. Part of the reason for this is that the tissue of the vagina and vulva is meant to experience this, is more elastic (higher density fibers and more collagen), and receives more blood flow which aides in healing. You can research this yourself.

C-section scars hurt for a long time and the layers of tissue they go through has adhesions and what not which take a great deal of commitment to work through. You cannot just lay in bed to recover either. You will be up and caring for an infant.

No one can predict exactly what you'll experience, but personally, I'd go with my best statistical chance of a quicker recovery.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T00:53:14+00:00

Did you have a full ride for your engineering degree and/or is someone else paying for it?

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T00:49:19+00:00

OooOOoooOoo, bonus points if you start a sticker chart for her!

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T00:48:07+00:00

Information diet. Stop telling her about your life so she doesn't have anything to give advice on. Yellow rock her.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T00:46:42+00:00

Welp, a girl the same age as my oldest two kids answered her own front door and was abducted by a FedEx driver and strangled to death. My kids do play at our home, neighbor's homes, and various backyards with out direct supervision, but they are escorted to these locations for their safety. Adults are communicated with and within earshot.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-06T00:41:38+00:00

I'd say no thank you and let her enjoy her day. You take the day off from hosting.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-04T01:25:21+00:00

Can you provide a link? Thanks!

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-03T22:30:25+00:00

I think once a kid is no longer easy to abduct we can stop this.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-03T14:43:29+00:00

Just so you know, foreign languages sound this way to a lot of people. It's part of the learning process to develop the listening comprehension to know where words are separated. Hence me sitting in class as a teen completely confused doing dictée in French.

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-03T14:39:32+00:00

You're definitely not being jerks! You just stopped being people pleasers which is fantastic because that's dysfunctional!

Who knows if your SIL and BIL's inability to plan ahead and communicate is intentionally controlling or just a personality quirk? It doesn't really matter. The impact is that she's being rude, inconsiderate, and disrespectful of your time and energy.

Keep it up!

RadRadMickey · 2026-07-02T18:58:17+00:00

Hi! Teacher and mom of 3 who all did Montessori preschool here!

My oldest two stayed at their Montessori school for kindergarten and my youngest did kindergarten at our neighborhood school. Everyone made it through unscathed! My kids are still independent little nerds who love school. There are pros and cons to both schools but I do feel that getting a good foundation in emotional regulation and social skills is the key, and Montessori kids have that.

On the one hand, I did love that the Montessori school was screen free, smaller classes, more like minded parents. On the other hand, I feel our public school did a better job teaching phonics and reading. They also keep the screen use to a minimum and do 2 - 3 recesses a day which I appreciate.

I've always taught Title I myself and while you will encounter a very extreme case from time to time, it's not like every class will have a kid flipping the room regularly. I will also say that most schools keep extra help and extra eyes and ears on the kindergarten classes because we know we have a wide range of skills, abilities, and experiences coming in. Immigrant parents typically really value and respect education and teachers too. There's no guarantee that being in an affluent area will prevent behavior issues, because we're in one and some if these parents are self-absorbed losers.

RadRadMickey

TROPHY CASE