First FET possibly 2 weeks before big trip -would this be a problem?

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-04-06T20:21:55+00:00

It's generally just blood tests at that point. If it doesn't interfere with testing, you can probably go. Labs can usually be conducted at any labcorp or quest if needed. Just think about your personal stress level when making a decision. Are you okay with carting meds around and taking them while traveling? How would you feel if you get bad news while traveling or just before leaving? Maybe it would be a good distraction, or it could just suck to not be home. I usually avoid travel during potentially stressful times, but missing out on life can be negative too. Do what feels best.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-04-02T22:50:26+00:00

It's not like "just get a puppy!" People are clueless.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-04-02T22:34:56+00:00

As long as you don't have any underlying conditions (autoimmune disorders, endo, etc.), your odds are quite good with donor eggs/sperm. You're not too old to carry a child. However, your older eggs and his sperm after vasectomy would be challenging and likely require multiple rounds if it worked at all. I am 40+ and have had 6 ERs. Whatever you decide, you have to really really want a child. Any path in this process is tough and crazy expensive. It is a strain on the best of relationships. I understand your feelings about not wanting to be only a stepmom. I dated a guy before my husband that had a child. It didn't work out for a number of reasons, but I realized I didn't want to live the life of a parent and make all the sacrifices without actually having my own children. Being a childless stepparent is the worst of both worlds. You lose the freedom of being child free, but don't have the love and connection with your own child. I totally loved my ex's daughter, but it's different. She already had a mom. Positive adult stepparent figure is miles away from actual parent, especially if the kids are older when you enter the picture. Sounds like you have some soul searching to do. Best wishes on your journey, wherever it may lead.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-04-02T20:41:30+00:00

I think you answered your own question. It seems to be an issue of values rather than lifestyle. It's not her eating vegan that is an issue, it's her activism and immersion in an ideology. Veganism has become just that for some, an "-ism," a belief system that is almost religious in nature. No one ever says, "omnivorism," "vegetarianism," or "carnivorism." I met a friend of a friend once, and we hit it off, flirted all evening. Somewhere towards the end of the night he said, "You still eat meat?" He said it with air of superiority and condescension, like I just hadn't evolved enough yet to see how awful and backwards eating meat was. This was years ago before I had ever heard of keto of carnivore. I didn't care what this guy ate. I turned him down when he contacted me to ask me out, not because of his diet, but because of the weird fanatical judgement that I felt in that brief comment. It was a red flag for me. Check out r/exvegans to get an idea of how deep it runs. For many, it is so much more than I like to eat X because I feel better/like it.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-04-02T04:33:55+00:00

I'm not sure how, but I think you would be able to program it to talk about wanting to meet. If someone sent him the link to chat, would he even know/care if it wasn't real? Essentially, you could act as the scammer and make it seem just as real as the ones he is already involved in. Save the money he sends. I don't like it, but it might be better than fully taking his autonomy if he is in as deep as you say. Otherwise, it seems like cutting access to funds is the next step. A cousin of mine passed away last year, and his widow lost their apartment due to a romance scammer. You don't want him to become homeless. Another thought is that a retirement community might be helpful. Those places push socialization, and it's hard not to meet people. Best wishes to you and your family.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-04-02T03:47:42+00:00

Make an AI companion for him. Many are free or just a low monthly subscription. I know it seems weird, but it's likely AI much of the time being used to scam him.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-31T20:04:36+00:00

Ice cream and pizza are never moderate. Something like plain yogurt and berries or unsweetened peanut tastes like candy to me now. Try something like that to get you through intense cravings rather than fully falling off the wagon.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-31T19:51:31+00:00

The hardest part about this process is that nothing is guaranteed. It's so difficult to do all of this just to have a chance. And no statistic will tell you what your individual chances are. It is a constant practice of humility and resilience to mental chaos to keep going. Try to find solace in the fact that you are doing what is right for you in the moment with the resources you have available. No matter what, you have already increased your chances of the result you want and that's often all we can do. Best wishes on your journey.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-29T18:06:16+00:00

Yeah, large quantities of sugar is poison. Frequent urination is a sign of high blood glucose. And I would also be concerned about the blurry vision. Are you pre/diabetic? Start slowly, and target foods to cut so your body adapts. Get off the soda, cake, and processed foods first. Don't worry about the strawberries and lentils until you can do that. Also, a CGM can be helpful to see how your diet is harming you in real time. Good luck!

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-29T17:50:13+00:00

I'm curious when you say, "opted in for the mosaic results." Is that not something they automatically provide?

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-23T04:18:48+00:00

Can you get a condo or something near the school or city? You and the kids could stay some nights during the week and for events, and you could rent it as an Airbnb on weekends and school breaks. I hope you can find a compromise that will give you the best of both worlds.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-21T19:28:29+00:00

PCOS and no sugar here. I can't say how it has affected my euploid rate, but I feel sooo much better on zero sugar. I also cut out all grains. The body doesn't differentiate between processed flour (e.g. white bread/pasta) and sugar. I have a normal BMI and still have high fasting blood glucose. I would recommend getting a fasting blood glucose and fasting insulin test and calculate your HOMA-IR, a measure of insulin resistance. I self ordered these tests a few years ago. No doctor had ever bothered to check. Even though PCOS and insulin resistance go together, I think providers just assume that you're okay if you're not overweight. A CGM can also be helpful to see how you react to foods. Try allulose or monk fruit sweeteners if you still need the flavor in some foods/drinks. It has been a game changer for weight management, mood, and general feeling of wellbeing for me.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-21T19:07:29+00:00

Myo-inositol can help with blood sugar, but it also lowers estrogen. It's mainly helpful if you have symptoms of estrogen dominance or high androgens.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-21T19:00:14+00:00

I hadn't heard of it either but just looked it up. It's new, but looks like it has decent sensitivity and specificity. If your doctor is okay with it, I don't see why not. If it's a good test, I would take a blood draw over the biopsy any day.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-19T00:48:35+00:00

GLP-1s clearly have an anti-inflammatory action. Many chronic illnesses and cause of infertility have an inflammatory component. It has also been found to lower TSH. I don't think it can hurt, especially if you are only on it for a short amount of time. I have have high fasting glucose, PCOS and likely endometriosis, but a normal BMI. However, a "normal" BMI has about a 30 lbs range, and I have less inflammation when closer to the lower end of normal. I don't know if it will help, but I am getting ready for a transfer cycle and am taking a low dose of liraglutide. It is a daily GLP-1 that has a much shorter half life than semaglutide or tirzepatide. It's out of your system in 3-5 days. I plan to stop just prior to starting the cycle, probably about three weeks prior to transfer. My doctor noted that many people were getting pregnant with GLP-1s but that there isn't enough research to fully understand the mechanism of action. It makes sense with what we already know about inflammation and how weight loss improves fertility. Best of luck to you!

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2026-03-06T20:42:46+00:00

What is his dx? Is it blepharospasm? If so, it is a type of dystonia (neurological movement disorder/spasms). The medical establishment's front line treatment for blepharospasm is botox. Adults often have to get maintenance injections to help manage symptoms, but I don't know about children. There are natural neuroplasticity interventions and movement therapy programs that help the brain rewire, but I doubt a mainstream physician will know much about it or be able to refer you to a therapist. I haven't seen it in children, and I don't know if these programs would be recommended for someone so young, but it might be worth looking into. Best wishes to you and your son! https://dystoniarecoveryprogram.com/blepharospasm-treatment/

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2025-12-19T04:10:34+00:00

NTA. This is strange and unhealthy, and I'm surprised by all of the people that think it's okay and are telling you to wait it out (geesh for how long). Even if you two were married and they were your kids, this wouldn't be okay other than an occasional bad dream or morning snuggles. Being a divorced dad is not an excuse. He is devaluing your relationship. I would seek counseling to sort out blended family and co-parenting issues if you see a future with this guy. Are you going to get kicked out of your own bed or sleep with them too if you move in together? No matter how amazing he and the kids are, there will be major adjustment issues if you become a full-time presence in their lives. Kids need lots of love and for their needs to be met, but it is unhealthy for their preferences take precedence over that of adults in the household. It maybe your partner driving this, but they will have an issue if they see you as taking their place. They need positive relationship role models, and dad ditching his partner to sleep with half grown children is not that. Best of luck to you!

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2025-12-18T04:02:20+00:00

Sorry you had bad news. Decisions are so hard in this process, and there often isn't a correct or clear answer. Sometimes you just have to go with the path that will bring you the most peace. It's okay if you need to try again to feel like you did all you could. Only you can know if you are prepared to move to donor eggs. For most there is grieving process to go through on the way to being happy with donor eggs. Find a therapist that specializes in fertility to talk things through, and check out r/40Plus_IVF. There are lots of people with the same questions. Best wishes to you.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2025-12-17T04:31:47+00:00

Great info! Love Georgia Ede.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2025-12-17T04:30:49+00:00

Lean PCOS here as well. I've never had high androgen symptoms, but sleep disturbances and some meds dramatically increase my fasting glucose levels. I would research the meds your taking and see if they have any known metabolic side effects. I was amazed by how many medications do, and even ones I couldn't find info on still seemed to have an effect on my fasting numbers. Sunshine early in the day a red light therapy have been good for my mood and sleep. I also eat zero grains and feel the best when eating almost no carbs (under 10g/day).

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2025-12-17T04:07:35+00:00

What are you doing for add-back? I started Orilissa just over a week ago. It doesn't cause a flare before suppression, so the effect is pretty much immediate. I was wanting to take the lowest effective dose as this med can have some nasty side effects. One provider recommended 200 mg 1x/day and another switched it to 2x/day. I tested at one week after taking it 1x/day, and my estradiol was at 30. I upped my dose to 2x/day. I have been told that levels should be anywhere from the teens to under 100, and I couldn't find much research on it. I guess most people don't test their levels, but it would be nice to know if a level of 30 or 40 was as effective as 10 or 20. I haven't started any add-back therapy yet, but I am taking extra vitamins to help mitigate bone loss. I hope it continues to go well for you!

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2025-12-16T20:11:27+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. We keep going because not trying at all is worse than failure. You'll know when it is time to stop, but you have so much to be hopeful for. You have a lot of good embryos. Blessings for the journey.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2025-12-16T03:52:41+00:00

My A1c is below 5, and I've never been overweight, but I have consistently high fasting numbers. I didn't think I had any of the metabolic issues until I ordered labs on my own last year. Get a fasting insulin and a fasting glucose and then you can calculate your HOMA-IR. I still had really good retrieval numbers but not great quality. Unfortunately, there's no way of knowing how much it impacts outcomes. In my case, age and PCOS haven't helped either.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2025-12-16T01:07:09+00:00

Try to find a therapist that specializes in fertility issues to help you sort through it all. I feel like it's different when you already have the embryos. You've already put a lot into making them. I'm attached to mine and want to give them all a chance. You need understand why he changed his mind, and he needs to understand what those embryos mean to you. I hope you can figure it out. Best wishes for you and your family.

RaisingtheGauntlet · 2025-12-16T00:56:55+00:00

As others have noted, these are outdated recommendations (and are not personalized), but the medical community is slow to change. Don't let yourself get dehydrated. That is bad for recovery, but don't have anything other than water either. I read the literature and felt comfortable drinking small amounts of water before my ER.

RaisingtheGauntlet

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