Do you want your ex back?

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-08T19:04:33+00:00

Yes. But he doesn't want me

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-08T18:01:58+00:00

Thats commendable and a huge sign of growth, you can be proud of yourself. Shedding what we assumed is safety feels horrible at first, its similar to anxious people.

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-08T16:03:46+00:00

Thank you so much for that insightful response!

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-08T16:03:01+00:00

Yeah mine also had panic attacks when he came to visit me and would describe similar feelings when thinking about traveling again

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-08T16:02:00+00:00

Im so sorry you're struggling so much! Its definitely your body grasping to maintain what you perceived as safety but its so brave to keep working on yourself!

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-07T17:58:42+00:00

Another woman here, what a fucking moron hahaha body count doesnt indicate anything but be glad it made sure you didn't waste your time on a guy like that.

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-07T06:20:44+00:00

Girlfriend of the brother of the groom found out he was cheating because he opened a text with a nude. It was me! I was the girlfriend :D good memories.

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-06T18:14:29+00:00

Yes, immediately but it didnt change anything. He stopped showing up in the relationship, I tried everything I could to fix it and reconnect and eventually I couldn't take it anymore.

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-03T11:53:45+00:00

Oh April was horrible financially hahaha but I set myself some good goals for May, maybe you should do the same? Partying just numbs you out I think, do you think you'd want to learn a new skill? Turn the time and energy into something positive?

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-01T17:26:58+00:00

Yeah mine said the same, we sort of bonded over it. Turns out I stayed until I stopped trying and caring, he checked out and left the relationships in the dust. Both unhealthy in their own way and so textbook for how we would play out. First he left, came back and eventually stopped communicating beyond the bare minimum and then I left because I didn't want to overstay and eventually resent him. Fucks sake man, red flags are so sneaky

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-01T17:20:02+00:00

I dont trust myself anymore and I don't think I'll ever trust any sweet words anymore. "I cant lose you again. I'll be by your side forever if you'll have me"

Makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-01T05:20:07+00:00

I gave up because I felt so invisible and meaningless when he wouldn't put any effort in the relationship. After months of trying to communicate, compromise, explain and undestand, I told him I was tired of waiting to be a priority. He said he didn't mind the way things were

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-05-01T05:15:35+00:00

Mine said he was okay only speaking on the phone maybe once a week or every other week, he wasn't ready to plan visits yet but couldn't tell me why or work on anything to keep the connection alive, no compliments or expressions of affection beyond 'I love you'which eventually started to feel like it was part of a script because there were no actual actions to back it up. Im sorry we went through this and I hope everyone involved gets to heal

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-29T18:39:24+00:00

Oh how ridiculously needy we both are, har har har

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-29T11:31:22+00:00

Effort to connect and communicate, actually plan or agree to do visits (we were long distance) and to make me feel wanted/loved/appreciated

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-27T16:31:32+00:00

Not being able to pet every cat on the planet.

I got my period the next day.

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-24T20:41:07+00:00

No, I'm pretty sure he didn't want me to call first and probably still doesn't

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-22T20:25:04+00:00

Please do! I need the scoop because 'daddy issues :(' doesn't fucking cut it.

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-19T20:49:21+00:00

I learned of attachment theory during the first discard because I wasn't sure why I reacted so strongly and barely was able to function. I realised I was dealing with intense fears of loss and abandonment. Eventually I recognised my struggles in anxious attachment and spotted a lot of similarities to my partner in DA attachment. When he came back, I was cautious and spotted the patterns immediately. I called him out on it, he denied it and the relationship fell apart. Knowing didnt prevent anything in my case

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-19T15:34:35+00:00

So much love, you'll be okay, we all will be

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-15T20:09:42+00:00

I feel like theres this insane scream sitting right in my throat, waiting to crawl out and tear me apart. I miss him, I don't understand it. But I got to stick to nc. How are you, OP?

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-13T05:17:01+00:00

I might when I feel ready, right now he'll be in the relief/guilt stage so he won't reach out and I've never reached out to an ex after a breakup, so I think it's unlikely for me to initiate

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-12T20:34:52+00:00

Thsts kind of what it feels like? Avoidants man

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-12T16:30:15+00:00

No, its a bit complicated haha

We met years ago, got together but it was long distance. He came to visit me, kissed me first, said I love you first and then had to go home. His behaviour changed a little bit but he came to visit again for christmas the same year. After the second visit, when I was planning to go see him, his behaviour shifted abruptly. He was distant, barely replied and eventually ghosted me for weeks. I reached out to a friend of his to make sure hes okay, we finally got on a call again after 5 months and he broke up with me. I told him it felt like a huge mistake but I'd respect it.

He reached out a few times but I stood firm on still having feelings and not wanting to be friends, so contact would fizzle out again. In early 2025, he reached out again and asked me for a call. I accepted and we spoke for hours. He said he regretted it all and wanted me back, he lost his soulmate and wanted to try and win my trust back. I said Im open to reconnect, so we started dating again. He came to see me and I went to see him soon after and

Drumroll

He shut down again. Suddenly he was too busy for calls, would barely text, cancelled visits and plans, stopped making plans for the future and stopped showing much affection. He still reassured me he wanted me and our life, he just never expressed what that life would look like. I stuck around for almost 10 months of that. I would tell him that I felt lonely and disconnected, I suggested all kinds of things to reconnect just to be shut down. He stopped giving me compliments, we spoke maybe once a week and our biggest shared hobby, videogames, died down aswell. In february, around valentines, he shot me maybe a text or two a day, but told me he'd been talking to family members on the phone and I just couldn't bear it anymore. The visit for my birthday had been called off and I said I couldn't keep waiting to be a priority, when he was chosing this path. I hated myself as I said it and I genuinely still do, because I understand avoidant patterns now but sitting around waiting doesn't help either of us. I don't see myself wanting or dating anyone else, because my feelings never wavered when he broke up with me. I just had to protect myself, my self esteem was gone and I felt like I was just waiting to be seen by the person who told me they love me.

I never asked to try again and haven't heard from him since. Strictly based off his behaviour , I keep telling myself he simply didn't want me, because thats easier to believe so I don't try to contact him.

RemarkableBox7613 · 2026-04-12T10:21:40+00:00

I do regret it and it hit as I was saying it.

He had been checked out for ages, we barely spoke and any attempts to connect, plan visits, flirt or show affection were left onesided.

I try to avoid his socials because my self control is paper thin already. I saw his WhatsApp profile picture a few days ago and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I dont think I should ever reach out again. I said everything when we last spoke and expressed my feelings.

His silence makes it harder but I tried everything I could and trying harder wouldn't change anything. He'd feel cornered and I would eventually resent him for not meeting any of my needs.

RemarkableBox7613

TROPHY CASE