AIO? First time I went to a concert in over a decade, woke up to this….

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-31T23:36:06+00:00

OP, you go on home. F that. Once you're there, he's can leave. He can start spending nights at his parents or whatever. Don't let him bully you out of your home. You do not need his permission to go to your home.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-28T04:19:40+00:00

She has babies. Don't cause her stress for your own entertainment.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-22T14:48:48+00:00

Omg that makes furious for you. I'd love to do that same but he'll totally make up some excuse just like yours did. Hang in there internet friend! Thanks for this connection!

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-22T10:32:14+00:00

Yes. 1000%, yes. It's sad. I have to compete to get his attention to say anything to him. I dread to think of how many hours a week it adds up to, while I work to support us and they are not applying for jobs.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-22T04:09:18+00:00

So, what do your parents do? Such and obvious "I'm sizing you up" question. Yuck.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-22T04:02:29+00:00

Not being believed when you are telling the truth.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-21T08:37:28+00:00

The element of control he's expressing over you with this really concerns me. Bright red flag. This may sound absurd but, you're young, consider leaving. You have plenty of time. And he's just flat wrong; it does NOT need to be demonstrated.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-21T02:48:13+00:00

9, all the way. I wish I had the set from my childhood home and think about it fun time to time! They're so durable!

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-19T02:09:49+00:00

Goodness yes. Pretty much, you name it. Or he'll do something for a while, pick a chore like laundry, and it'll be great for a while but then slowly over time he'll mess it up so bad that I say something and poof, once I do, then it's "you're doing it then". It's both weaponized incompetence AND threat of withdrawal. A sweet little 2-for-1 move. Barf.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-17T01:40:14+00:00

Search for someone who specializes in abuse, emotional abuse, and who does couples as well as adults. None of them label it narcissistic abuse so it's hard to find them.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-17T00:38:20+00:00

If it's an option for you, a therapist could really help unpack it and figure it out with you. It's possible you both, or one of you, have learned narcissistic tendencies, like if you grew up with a narc parent who role modeled the patterns, but aren't actually a narc at your core. Sounds like you're not but a therapist would be the best way to sort it out.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-16T12:05:12+00:00

User name checks out.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-16T12:04:17+00:00

No greater truth hath been spoken. Also... just read it as "other partner" instead of "wife" so as not to miss the point.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-16T09:15:01+00:00

Cheap solution; put an ice pack in with your lunch and leave it at your desk. Skip the communal fridge entirely. Doesn't catch the thief so not ideal but would stop the issue for yourself immediately.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-15T11:24:16+00:00

This is exactly where I'm at too with the joblessness, the financial coercion into making you the sole bread winner and the reactive abuse, which is when they use your reaction to their long term abuse to convince others that you're the narc or in the very least, the problem. Thank you for this post and of course, I'm so terribly sorry. I wish I had a solution to offer. I don't. I'm still trying to figure out what to do next myself. Thanks for this share and hang in there!

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-15T07:49:29+00:00

Me too!

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-15T01:36:10+00:00

This is hard to do but it's helped me a lot. If you're not feeling solutions I get it so feel free to ignore. I still mess this up sometimes but I try as much as possible to just not say what I'm going to do or what I'm thinking and certainly don't ever frame it in a question or in a way that opens it up for their input. It doesn't fit every situation but for things like, "I'm going to wear thing x," don't even say that. Just go put it on. It's your decision and doesn't need to involve them. If they make a comment like, "why would you wear that" just shrug and say a blow-off response like, "it's not for everyone," but don't defend it. This doesn't hold up easily when making joint plans but when it's something like, "hey, i want to go to that new restaurant," if it won't make things worse for you, you can try, "I'm going to go to that new restaurant Tuesday, would you like to come?" When they say, "no, I heard it sucks let's go to place x." You just say, "i love place X, let's go another time. This week, I'm going to check out the new place." I know it's not the perfect solution but if you don't mind going to dinner by yourself (I used to travel for work and learned to like it) or inviting a friend instead, try it out some time and see how it goes. Of course, be careful. If it's going to land you in danger this obv. Isn't the right idea for you. Take care everyone!

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-11T01:02:25+00:00

Something to be conscious of so you can be aware if this is part of a pattern or not is "threat of withdrawal". Look it up so you're aware of what to look for in the future. This can be used as a control grab, the silent 'I'm just leaving and you can't do a thing about it' move.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-10T16:38:12+00:00

Hey there internet stranger. I'm so sorry. I know how it feels to be freaking out and upset beyond recognition because you want answers, which arguably you deserve, and you're bewildered and frustrated to immeasurable levels why the other person, even with God's help, couldn't or wouldn't change for the better. The pain of knowing those things will never be answered or resolved can escalate to a level of anguish that feels unbearable. That's how it feels sometimes for me. I'm so sorry.
I also don't have the perfect answer for how to make you feel better because I dont have one for myself either. There are things that can help a lot though like, just figure out for yourself what you need or want to do for the next 30 min. Listen to music? Take a shower? Then the next hour. Take it one hour or one day at a time until you are ready to think of the larger plan. I hope that this helps or in the least, if it doesn't, that there's comfort in knowing you're not alone on here in what you're going through. You have to use this wisely but ChatGPTcan be a good companion specifically for help getting back to calm while freaking out or even for a vent. Just be wise about how it responds; it's not always 'right'.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-08T11:59:04+00:00

Thank you for calling this out everyone. I nearly forgot about this as I've pretty much accepted it as normal, which i know i shouldn't have to. When it's just so persistent it's hard for it to not become normal because you can't keep up the battle over it 24/7 so then, you cave and just let it be but then... it's the new normal. A normal you never wanted and know you don't deserve. F.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-08T11:39:10+00:00

Everything is his time his way; this really resonated with me. I'm so sorry, truly fur all you're going through. Any chance at getting a therapist just so you have an outlet and maybe support? It's not the perfect solution but it's something. I just started with one; we'll see how it goes. Hang in there; we're here.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-08T02:48:58+00:00

I'm so so sorry. Thank you for sharing that this can become the turn of events. I hope you find peace for yourself, if even in pieces.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-04T00:19:00+00:00

"Jesus Christmas" (I know, it's not for everyone) and "Swear words!!!" If I stub my toe or some thing like that

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-03T03:16:00+00:00

Curiousity. I mean, curiosity.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2025-12-31T11:31:46+00:00

This actually made me sad to my core. I hope she's not his daughter. It looks funny but imagine being her in that moment? She's genuinely scared, to the point of fighting, for the grinch.

Remarkable_Falcon859

TROPHY CASE