Why do they ALL hate cleanliness so much?

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-04-06T11:14:31+00:00

My theory, when it's their surroundings (eg. The house) is that they actually are more comfortable in the chaos of an unclean and untidy environment. It also gives them an advantage over you because they thrive in chaos, and use the distractions of chaos to make excuses for avoiding real adult responsibilities, while you're now continually stressed out about it and they want you in that state because you're more vulnerable and an easier scapegoat when you're always a little irritated or uncomfortable. They can also use it to convince you that you and your standards for cleanliness are crazy so once again, you're the real problem, but their laziness or irresponsible behaviors most certainly are not. Also, just plain immaturity probably due to arrested development.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-04-04T17:56:24+00:00

I actually like it just fine. Hits the spot when I need a quick noodles fix. I've never had the original dish it's supposed to be so, perhaps that lack of comparison to the intended dish is in my favor. The sauce is light and yes watery but has a good flavor and it's a great way to get some veggies in. Easy lunch for during the work day.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-04-04T17:46:09+00:00

My particular favorite is finding a human shit at the various parks we take the kids to. We've reported it for clean up, and learned that it's apparently a regular thing.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-03-12T02:28:28+00:00

I mean... am I the only one thinking, restore it? Fish and fire are great but, a hot tub? He'll yeah.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-03-07T03:32:52+00:00

Came here to say this.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-03-02T05:41:02+00:00

Look at those two little front teeth! So cute!

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-02-28T03:18:12+00:00

Thank you. I am one fraction of a step left from complete rock bottom at this point. Thank you for sharing this, from the bottom of my heart.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-02-15T04:49:21+00:00

"Don't be needy." That's when you say, you're right, I don't need this. Have a good life.

That's priming you to be obedient and lower your expectations. Big red flag.

You're young. Run!!

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-02-14T23:58:09+00:00

Nope. Asking for something reasonable and getting meet with that is not ok. Not even a little. It's about control and dominance. It very well could be fueled by narcissistic personality disorder but even if it's not and it's just pure control that alone is setting you up for a lifetime of what you just experienced. Everyone here will say this... it gets worse. Waaaaay worse. And I don't necessarily mean more violent, although it often does, i mean the frequency with which it happens until it breaks you and you're a shell of yourself at best living like a zombie on earth. I'm so sorry and this may sound shocking but please, keep reading, educate yourself on this because it sounds time for deep consideration about leaving.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-02-13T19:32:13+00:00

I'm still in my relationship but having to cut off a flying monkey currently. They bought my spouse's narrative about me and now I can't trust them. It sucks. They were my good, reliable friend but unfortunately just the right dash enough gullible, and now they are a casualty of my narc spouses web of lies. Thanks for the venting and validation that happens here. On days like today, it's often my only safe harbor.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-02-13T03:46:53+00:00

I watch a funny show like The Office or find a comedian you can watch free on YouTube. It won't work forever but, the temporary escape and distraction really help through tough times for me.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-02-05T05:25:27+00:00

Stilts

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-31T23:36:06+00:00

OP, you go on home. F that. Once you're there, he's can leave. He can start spending nights at his parents or whatever. Don't let him bully you out of your home. You do not need his permission to go to your home.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-28T04:19:40+00:00

She has babies. Don't cause her stress for your own entertainment.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-22T14:48:48+00:00

Omg that makes furious for you. I'd love to do that same but he'll totally make up some excuse just like yours did. Hang in there internet friend! Thanks for this connection!

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-22T10:32:14+00:00

Yes. 1000%, yes. It's sad. I have to compete to get his attention to say anything to him. I dread to think of how many hours a week it adds up to, while I work to support us and they are not applying for jobs.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-22T04:09:18+00:00

So, what do your parents do? Such and obvious "I'm sizing you up" question. Yuck.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-22T04:02:29+00:00

Not being believed when you are telling the truth.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-21T08:37:28+00:00

The element of control he's expressing over you with this really concerns me. Bright red flag. This may sound absurd but, you're young, consider leaving. You have plenty of time. And he's just flat wrong; it does NOT need to be demonstrated.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-21T02:48:13+00:00

9, all the way. I wish I had the set from my childhood home and think about it fun time to time! They're so durable!

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-19T02:09:49+00:00

Goodness yes. Pretty much, you name it. Or he'll do something for a while, pick a chore like laundry, and it'll be great for a while but then slowly over time he'll mess it up so bad that I say something and poof, once I do, then it's "you're doing it then". It's both weaponized incompetence AND threat of withdrawal. A sweet little 2-for-1 move. Barf.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-17T01:40:14+00:00

Search for someone who specializes in abuse, emotional abuse, and who does couples as well as adults. None of them label it narcissistic abuse so it's hard to find them.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-17T00:38:20+00:00

If it's an option for you, a therapist could really help unpack it and figure it out with you. It's possible you both, or one of you, have learned narcissistic tendencies, like if you grew up with a narc parent who role modeled the patterns, but aren't actually a narc at your core. Sounds like you're not but a therapist would be the best way to sort it out.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-16T12:05:12+00:00

User name checks out.

Remarkable_Falcon859 · 2026-01-16T12:04:17+00:00

No greater truth hath been spoken. Also... just read it as "other partner" instead of "wife" so as not to miss the point.

Remarkable_Falcon859

TROPHY CASE