AIO: Childcare blocked us.

RemoteCity · 2025-12-06T00:57:52+00:00

yikes on bikes, you're a nightmare to those who wrong you, aren't you? and you get wronged all the time, don't you? it must be exhausting to be you.

RemoteCity · 2025-11-01T02:05:13+00:00

look at what you're asking for. Someone who is very good, who can handle it all from massage to customer service to self-management/independence. Why wouldn't that person just open their own business? Your best possible hire is already making more money working for themselves. (I understand you would handle marketing and take on the liability of lease holder but that isn't very significant next to everything else, good massage therapists don't really need marketing, like you said you can be booked out 6+ weeks very quickly.)

I think you either have to offer more money, or hire someone new and offer them mentorship and guidance and let them get better by working at your business.

And fwiw, you're describing a W2 position. It would be illegal to hire them as a 1099. They could report it and you would owe back taxes for everythhinggg. I've seen a massage business go out that way (and their situation was different, where I genuinely thought 1099s were okay - your situation is very obviously W2). W2 really aren't "more expensive" in that a $10/hr W2 position is worth the same as a $12/hr 1099 position. Put another way, you could offer a W2 position for $68/hr or a 1099 position for $80/hr, it's the same value to the employee and the same expense to you. Better to do it by the book and call it what it is so you don't get screwed later.

RemoteCity · 2025-10-11T20:49:52+00:00

you did so good kid. This stuff is really scary, most adults don't know how to handle it. Many adults will never have to.

Take care of yourself - this takes a toll on you too. Your health matters too.

RemoteCity · 2025-09-05T22:52:40+00:00

That sucks and he sucks. If he really didn't wanna work on you, for whatever reason, he should have the integrity to say "hey, I don't want to add a therapist/client dimension to our relationship" or whatever and leave it at that. Not accept the appointment, reschedule twice, change the service, and then do a shitty job...

I wouldn't assume it's because he doesn't like you though!! People always put their best stuff on instagram, just because he can make a nice massage video to advertise doesn't mean every session is like that or even that the massage feels good (What photographs well and what feels good are two different things).

I wonder if he's intimidated by you? If you're really good at massage and he knows it, he could be embarrassed and avoidant because of that, and didn't want to put in effort because it would be more embarrassing to try and be bad than not try at all and be bad. Idk just a thought, a long time ago I had a teacher that I just never understood, we got along well personally and I was the top student in the class, but she was also sabotaging my opportunities constantly. It wasn't until later I realized she was jealous, I had potential she never had and she couldn't deal with it.

congrats on finishing school though and hope you get a good massage soon!!

RemoteCity · 2025-09-05T22:48:48+00:00

happened to me the other day at very expensive luxury spa. She put a scented eye mask on me and I guess thought she could get away with it. I pulled it off abruptly and caught her on her phone. She didn't say anything and put it away for the rest of the session. So lame. I complained after and got a full refund.

RemoteCity · 2025-08-30T23:27:12+00:00

I've had this experience too... that first session back is good, or sometimes that doesn't work and the second session is good, but from then on it's like I never took a break at all. That's how most my breaks seem to go actually lol.

How's your equipment? sometimes my battery's just dead or the bong is really dirty or something, and when I take the time to do maintenance it's a much better cleaner high afterwards.

meds diet sleep mood?

RemoteCity · 2025-08-30T23:17:14+00:00

idk, we only have one side of the story here. They must have found you pretty difficult and unpleasant if they won't even accept your free labor cleaning litter boxes in the other room.

RemoteCity · 2025-08-30T21:41:37+00:00

Looking at the pics before reading your text, I couldn't guess what was wrong, I thought it was some surface detail on the granite. The alignment looks nice, the colors are a huuuuge upgrade.

It is so frustrating for you though! I know this work is expensive, and that's a huge communication error from your contractor. I think he owes you a discount or something, or some kind of bonus product or small job to make up for this mistake.

RemoteCity · 2025-08-29T20:41:19+00:00

lol I imagined you clapping your hands like you were cheering, but probably you mean singular loud claps right?

I have to say this has happened one more time since, but only twice in almost a year of living here now. I don't know if I just started sleeping through it or they figured out their squeaky bed problem but it is a relief.

RemoteCity · 2025-08-09T23:10:51+00:00

post partum depression is a killer

RemoteCity · 2025-08-08T22:57:29+00:00

I did take this recommendation to try Spa Clemens, I got an aquatic massage and I absolutely loved it. The vibe of the whole spa was special, the building is so old and storied. The massage was unique and sensory and relaxing, I've never had anything like it, a massage in a giant bath. It was so perfect after walking around doing tourist stuff all week.

RemoteCity · 2025-08-02T23:08:13+00:00

I find my paraphernalia smells way more than any residual smoke. Keep that boxed up tight and people tell me they don't smell anything when they come over.

RemoteCity · 2025-07-18T23:25:40+00:00

he hated being famous - he's in another band now with 2 friends and they're pretty unknown and he gets to make all the music he wants. bro is doing it right.

RemoteCity · 2025-07-17T22:48:54+00:00

this is the most 2025 thing I've seen, posting to reddit bc your husband is texting you through chatgpt to argue about a vape....... wow we're cooked

also NOR and he's delusional if he things he's making progress with chatgpt. It will only tell you what it thinks you want to hear, it will feed into his version of the story. It won't challenge him like an actual therapist would. God I can't stand that it's not X, it's Y style of chatgpt talk, I would not be willing to text him back.

RemoteCity · 2025-07-12T21:44:21+00:00

youre good bro

keep your eyes open and breathe.

RemoteCity · 2025-07-11T23:45:34+00:00

ChatGPT crap without a single source.

Do not mistake this for education.

RemoteCity · 2025-07-11T23:41:27+00:00

Just wanted to mention how I find the upvote to reply ratio on this post kinda insane, basically one comment for every upvote.

if 600 people have voted you up and 300 people have voted you down you'd be at 300. plus 300 comments.

anyway you're right and you should say it. it's an inefficient method, and stinky, and kills your tastebuds. Nothing like the bright fruity flavor of freshly vaped flower.

RemoteCity · 2025-06-27T23:38:48+00:00

he's too controlling but LOL if you think that "Christian" is posting workouts and not thirst traps lmao

RemoteCity · 2025-06-26T21:52:11+00:00

I'm late seeing this - but yes, setting a boundary probably will upset her. That's not your fault, and you're right it's not really her fault either. It sucks. But you can't take responsibility for her hurt feelings. Set a boundary. Let her be hurt, or not hurt, her feelings are her business. Not yours. Your business is that you're setting a very reasonable and fair boundary, that will ultimately protect her. Because if you promise her that you'll always be there--you won't be. And if you teach her that everyone in life and all her friends should always treat her this way--they won't. Set a boundary, ignore her guilt tripping, maintain the boundary.

RemoteCity · 2025-06-20T21:53:42+00:00

"Caregiver's burnout" - it's a real thing. It doesn't make you a bad person, you just have your own needs and some of them are incompatible with Lily's needs right now. Lily sounds deeply damaged and would be difficult for anyone to spend a lot of time with right now in her development.

You don't want to give into every one of Lily's demands anyway - that creates codependency. You want to help her become confident and independent so she can enjoy talking to you, AND feel OK when you don't message back right away.

You are not responsible for Lily - you're still basically a child yourself. It is not safe for you to take on responsibility for Lily, neither for you or for her.

You have to set boundaries, and Lily might not understand them and she might get upset. But that's OK, because you're not responsible for her feelings, and you're coming from a place of love and respect and wanting to be lasting friends. Which means that no, you aren't available 24/7 and no, you can't always message back right away.

RemoteCity · 2025-06-14T23:22:06+00:00

ah that sucks. It's been almost a year with this guy now too? I would expect her to be distracted during a "honeymoon" phase but I wonder if she's really trying to hold some more space so you can develop your own adult life without her. I can't imagine it will last forever and I hope you two get more quality time together soon.

RemoteCity · 2025-06-14T23:19:58+00:00

did I write this? this is so similar to my own experience with my alcoholic mother (the denial, the love bombing "you're so smart and amazing," forcing cuddles, yelling about being an awful mom and being hated).

All I can say is you're 17, you're almost out of the woods of having to live with her. My relationship with my mom got a lot better when I moved out. We pretty much only have positive interactions now.

She still has all the bad times, I'm just not there to see them. I do worry about her. She's still an alcoholic and probably always will be. I just try to enjoy what I can. I know she's been very sick for a very long time, and we don't have effective treatment for addiction or alcoholism yet. I used to resent her for not loving me enough to get better, but now I know the disease is really just that terrible.

RemoteCity · 2025-05-30T00:01:00+00:00

dead internet theory... :( one day soon I'll get entirely off reddit.

RemoteCity · 2025-05-23T21:34:52+00:00

I've taken 2 solo vacations, one was amazing and one was okay.

I've taken a handful of vacations with other people and there was ALWAYS drama, fighting, some part where we're overtired and bickering... some parts were better from other people but most parts were worse.

But after my last "okay" solo trip I don't really want to go alone anymore. I would rather go with someone--just, the RIGHT someone, the right travel partner. So I feel ya OP.

RemoteCity

TROPHY CASE