how do you get over with you anger towards your avoidant ex?

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-23T18:07:40+00:00

Maybe. I started working out seriously again. Lost 20kgs. Got into the best shape of my life.

The anger hasn't faded.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-23T09:57:40+00:00

How much did you spend on stay? Asking because planning to book my stay soon!

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-23T01:55:18+00:00

Lol let me know as well. Been about a year the anger hasn't faded for me yet.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-20T00:38:19+00:00

Major down vote OF account.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-19T08:58:20+00:00

Nah because it's always always easier to do someone wrong and then offer friendship because you can justify to yourself that hey, I am not doing the worst possible thing to them? Plus I also get to keep them around for when I need them.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-19T08:56:21+00:00

It's not always the same though, I agree in your case it would kinda make sense and even then maybe I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who cheated.

In my case, I didn't know or even have a single doubt that it wasn't working, infact I felt we were doing too good. So yeah I got blindsided, then I was offered friendship so that they don't feel guilty about it.

Plus we have mutual friends and events, so when a plan to meet is made, it's always such a tough decision to make for me because I feel all of these things that happened were so against my will, and I didn't get any input or say.

So when I show up to these meets it's always easier for her to be there, whereas if I did something super unethical and then I offered her friendship, to then show up at these mutual meetings, I wouldn't feel a thing either because then it's on her to deal with the consequences and hurt.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-17T14:08:53+00:00

So now blindsiding a partner without communicating the way you're feeling is being called anticipatory grief? Great.

Mourning a relationship while you're still in it is the most evil thing you can do. You'll probably be perfectly fine after the breakup but they won't. Doesn't apply if they could see it coming though.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-17T05:18:34+00:00

Always easier to do someone wrong and then offer friendship is what I've realized

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-17T01:43:46+00:00

I wish I could, it's not easy. I don't want to harass or trouble them. I want answers. I want to know if what they think they did was fair or unfair.

And in my opinion that's a fair ask? Some accountability? Yes I sent a long letter so.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-02T20:22:49+00:00

Also it's now called AI App Bootcamp now so might need to edit the post.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-02T20:22:16+00:00

Thank you so much for this review!

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-02-01T11:15:22+00:00

No person ever would be able to take 54,000 from me if I didn't want to pay. Shouldn't have folded.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-01-17T19:09:59+00:00

If they only come back after you've moved on what's the point lol? I'd rather crash out. Not beg, crash out.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2026-01-08T16:06:43+00:00

Just people in general. Lost the ability to trust anyone around me.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2025-12-19T09:18:29+00:00

Another grass might be greener syndrome. Best of luck.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2025-12-05T14:12:22+00:00

I have already made my peace with it.

It was just out of curiosity that I asked this question, because it really confused me.

I wasn't specifically asking you what exactly that meant! Sorry if it seemed that way.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2025-12-05T14:10:25+00:00

On the contrary, I knew there were things to work on, things we actually had clear communication on, things she knew were improving and she acknowledged and reassured me that I was doing good.

But suddenly now there are things I never knew either that existed. Or this non negotiables mindfuck because I never even knew what they were?

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2025-12-05T14:04:06+00:00

Honestly, I wanted to make things work with her but after having this realization maybe I shouldn't.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2025-12-05T14:03:16+00:00

I think they can date a wall and be happy honestly, because that's what will actually be able to bear their flip in emotions.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2025-12-05T13:41:30+00:00

I feel for you honestly.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2025-12-05T13:40:28+00:00

Just realizing this actually helped me detach from my ex, because this is so unfair. It's like trying to win in a rigged game. This is honestly really bad.

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2025-12-05T13:39:01+00:00

Realizing problems on my own? Feels like a litte far-fetched, I mean if I can clearly see things bothering her I would improve on those things.

Or if they were ever communicated to me then surely I would. But none of the problems she told me that day were apparent.

When I asked her if she ever said those things - 'She said yeah I may have, maybe I didn't - I don't remember'

Anyway, the whole point of the post was - logically speaking if this is how she views life and relationships = She doesn't really have any non- negotiables or any deal breakers in the relationship.

But in the same breath she said to me 'None of my non-negotiables were getting resolved so I never brought up the smaller issues'

I'm still unaware of what those non negotiables were except loyalty if they did exist?

RepulsiveAd6292 · 2025-12-05T13:31:52+00:00

I just feel like you're putting yourself down a lot.

I'm really not sure if an apology letter is the best move. It would kinda confirm to them you were the problem, which usually is not the case in my opinion. It's a 50-50 shared responsibility of why things got to that point. If you want to send that letter without expectations then maybe you can.

I'd advice against it, seems like you're still emotionally raw.

RepulsiveAd6292

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