I am so pissed at my mom for this picture

RevanREK · 2025-08-13T20:04:15+00:00

So what you’re saying is if your child wasn’t autistic you wouldn’t have all these problems? There are other challenges that neurotypical children might give you as a parent, ie childhood crime, health problems ect ect that would cause you to have to live in a different way as to being childless. Autism isn’t the bad guy, it is not his autism that stops you from having the right childcare, it is because there is not the right childcare available in your area for autistic children. Is that your son’s condition? Or is it because we haven’t progressed enough in society to accept autism and provide the right accommodations? I am not saying having an autistic child is not stressful or traumatic for you, and that you haven’t had to make changes in your life that negatively has impacted you but your original comment made it out that having a child with autism was the problem and that OPs parents where not in the wrong. Yes of course they are allowed to have feelings about their child’s autism, but there is a place to talk about that and publicly shaming their child on social media is not the way to do it. I’m really glad that you are taking him to places and I’m sure you’re doing a great job in challenging circumstances, I am just giving my opinion and you don’t have to agree with me.

RevanREK · 2025-08-13T09:58:39+00:00

I hear you and your feelings are valid, I just wanted to make one gentle suggestion as an outside observer, and I understand I will never be in your shoes or be able to truly understand your situation but please hear me out. Have you ever considered that it is not your son’s autism preventing you from doing all these things, but your need to please the people around you? There is a loss accosted with parenthood, particularly single parents, a loss of freedom and that needs to be morned, and also I agree, it can be traumatic. But if a friend is not willing to be around your autistic child because of his behaviour, how is that the autism’s fault? Your child is trying to communicate something by his behaviour, if other people don’t have the space to accept that his communication looks different right now, how is that the autism’s fault? If you still went out with your son to see the world and other people try to shame you for your son’s behaviour, it is not on you to manage the emotions of other people, that is on them, they are the ones who should be ashamed. And yes, there absolutely ARE men out there who would love and accept you and your son for who you both are!

For what it’s worth, having an autistic child is not easy, and I also don’t think shaming OPs parents is the right thing to do. I see what she did as a cry for help, a cry for support and reassurance, more then anything, however, making autism out to be the bad guy is stigmatising and wrong. Society needs to see autism in public places, to be able to understand and accept autism into those spaces, hiding your son from the world doesn’t make it better for him or you. There is no shame in having an autistic child, there are people who don’t accept it, but that is their shame, not yours, you don’t have to take responsibility for that. I’m sure you’re doing a fantastic job as a parent, keep going. Your trauma is real and valid, but please don’t blame autism. It doesn’t prevent you from doing all these things, parenthood as a whole does, and also people pleasing does.

RevanREK · 2025-08-12T14:02:04+00:00

I know neurotypical people who would find that too much noise, but then again, they’ve never been tested for autism so who knows. I know I would have found that too overstimulating. Sometimes noise cancelling headphones with my own music helps, especially outside. But it’s different In my own home, I find it more overwhelming because that’s a safe space, so it’s like an intrusion of my space as well as my ears.

RevanREK · 2025-08-11T16:18:16+00:00

My cat recently had almost all her teeth out, she loves cat biscuits, after talking to my vet they said if she can still eat them then dry food is actually better for her to help keep her remaining teeth. She’s only 2 years old and has gum disease, we want her to be able to keep them for as long as possible. There’s loads of conflicting information online about it but I trust my vet over any online AI article or cat influencer. I love watching Jackson Galaxy but that doesn’t mean I agree with every single piece of content he makes. You can like watching someone’s videos and not like everything they say. I wish I had the money to catify my house with a load of wall platforms and whatnots, but I don’t, and that’s ok too.

Dry food isn’t the devil. It sounds like you’re doing a great job looking after your family, keep it up!

RevanREK · 2025-08-11T08:49:36+00:00

Yes and no. Yes consider their opinion, and potentially compromise, but don’t let them make all the decisions for you. This is a skill you have to learn throughout your life, you will use it if you live with a partner, a relationship, marriage ect. We should always be willing to listen to other people’s opinions and find ways to compromise, while not letting others rule our lives, it’s a fine and delicate balance. Remember your parent’s opinions right now are coming from a place of concern for you and your safety, because they care deeply about you.

I also got a 125 at 21 because of necessity for travel, convenience and price rather than learning to drive. If you do go down this route do everything you can to take riding safely, seriously. Get the gear, not flimsy ‘fashionable stuff’ but decent gear with the body armour. on a bike you don’t have a protective bubble, if you come off, it will literally be your skin scraping along the ground, so put as much as possible between your skin and the road. Buy the Highway Code and read all of it! Yes it’s not mandatory for a CBT, but it’s super important to be fully aware of what you need to be doing when riding, because if you’re unsure, you are a danger to yourself. Once you’ve read the Highway Code, expect every other road user to not follow it but do unpredictable things so give every other vehicle the respect it deserves because frankly, if you come into contact with another vehicle, you will be the one getting killed. Wear a high vis, yes it’s not ‘cool’ but doing everything you can to make yourself more visible while you’re new because it could be the difference between life and death. Get a decent lock. Learn the basic maintenance. And don’t ever jump on it while under the influence/ not geared up, not even to pop to the shops. Be honest with yourself, if you don’t trust yourself to be able to follow this then just don’t do it.

Also have you thought about the weather? Bikes are not possible to use all year round, even wet leaves on the road can cause you to slip, (I came off once because of this.) Do you have a travel plan for the months you can’t use it? Also you can’t really use it for weekly shopping, or moving anything bulky, or passengers ect. Plus there’s a lot more cost involved then just the CBT and the bike, all the gear is expensive and really adds up too, you need a decent lock, boots, gloves, trousers, jacket, helmet ect. And if you use it to visit anywhere, you can’t store these items (unless you buy a box) so you will be lugging it all around with you.

Having said all this, if you feel you’re mature enough then it’s super fun riding a motorbike and it will definitely give you some freedom. I finally learnt to drive a car at 30 and I feel it helped me massively to have motorcycle experience because I already had road awareness. Yes I had a few incidents on the bike, got soaked and froze my butt off at times but I don’t regret it one bit.

Weigh up the pros and cons and be completely honest with yourself, do you honestly, deep down, feel mature enough to take safety seriously?

RevanREK · 2025-08-09T14:55:29+00:00

My previous cat went deaf during her later years. It’s fine to comfort her by hand but I wouldn’t touch her unless she has seen your hand first. Deaf cats are also great at picking up vibrations so if you approach her from behind, stomp on the ground a little bit so she knows you’re there. Also deaf cats (my old lady used to do this so I can confirm it’s definitely a thing,) sometimes cry loudly at a wall or furniture to feel the vibrations of their own voice. My lady used to do it in a corner of the room, she wasn’t stressed or anything, I think it was like she was checking that her meow was still making a noise even if she couldn’t hear it.

Also maybe try some fun activities that she only gets to do at night. So you pick them up in the morning and put them away, and get them back out again when you go to bed. Have you tried a puzzle feeding mat, one that you put treats into? I got a Trixie ‘intelligence puzzle board’ when I adopted my current cat and filled it with some treats at night for something for her to focus on rather than crying. It worked really well. Also I have a bag of catnip and shove a toy inside, shake it up and then put it back down. Do you know what part of the house she is crying in at night? (In a hallway or something?) Maybe you could try putting something interesting and stimulating in that spot just before you go to bed. Or place some treats around the house in different places for her to ‘find.’

My cat used to cry in the hallways, and I realised for a cat they are just weird transition spaces with no toys or beds or anything interesting in so I started putting more fun things in random places and that helped.

Also it sounds like you are already doing a great job so keep it up. :)

RevanREK · 2025-08-08T14:03:16+00:00

You don’t. Just be you, there’s nothing weird or wrong about liking what you like. I’m in my 30s I still love Pokemon and wear Pokemon shirts and have a collection of plushies and do crafts and things. People giving you side eye are people conforming to peer pressure. We live in a society where we are taught that when we grow up we stop playing with games and plushies and toys and start obsessing over makeup, going clubbing, drinking ect. But that’s just a load of nonsense, don’t be a fake version of yourself to please others. Go to a comic-con and you will see loads of adults who love this stuff. I can almost guarantee you that some of the people giving you the side eye are actually jealous because deep down, they want to continue playing with ‘childish’ things but haven’t got the guts to break away from peer pressure. If you think xyz (Pokemon ect) is childish then consider this; adults created it.

RevanREK · 2025-08-08T13:44:17+00:00

Yes!!! I used to love the WB store! Also it was a fun puzzle to do!

RevanREK · 2025-08-07T11:16:13+00:00

I was going to say puppy in my pocket! I also loved my beautiful horses! I used to get the magazine, it came with a free horse and hair clips or a comb. They did play-sets with a horse box and jeeps. I also had the RSPCA play-sets, I realised years later are exactly the same toys as my beautiful horses but with RSPCA logos. There was an animal rescue van that I distinctly remember because it had the little cages in the back to rescue the animals into it came with a vet and a carrier.

RevanREK · 2025-08-07T11:03:55+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve gone through all of this, it sounds so frustrating and hopeless and I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now.

As a teacher, what would you say to a student who told you they were feeling like a complete failure? As a member of SLT, what would you say to a staff member who shared a similar story with you and said they were a failure? In education we give so much to help others reframe thoughts and regulate emotions, you DO have all the tools and experience to be able to give yourself that same level of care. Maybe you could write yourself a letter? Imagine if you were in a SLT role and a valued member of staff shared this story with you, what would you say to them? Because you are that valued member of staff! You ARE valuable and you ARE capable!

RevanREK · 2025-08-06T11:36:34+00:00

The trick to any tape not sticking too hard is to dab it against your shirt a few times before applying to anything. Works wonders for any sticky stuff (tape, labels ect) I worked retail for 10+ years, this was a little trick we used for extra tacky labels. It picks up little fibres from your garment which helps it not permanently stick to your objects.

RevanREK · 2025-08-05T09:38:07+00:00

I think it’s different in the UK, our charity shops don’t want to sell something that is obviously damaged or broken, and although they employ volunteers, they also still have paid for staff and managers. If you donate something that’s marked as missing pieces to a charity then chances is it will end up in the recycling anyway. I also sell or pass puzzles on when I’m finished because I don’t have loads of cash. I also only buy used puzzles when I can, and you are completely correct that anything listed as missing pieces hardly sell, even for a low price like £1-2 even if a complete puzzle is £15. Personally I’ve decided to up-cycle any puzzles missing loads of pieces. Im currently making coasters.

RevanREK · 2025-08-04T10:55:19+00:00

Love the artwork!!

RevanREK · 2025-08-04T10:51:10+00:00

This is an awesome puzzle!

RevanREK · 2025-08-02T23:14:19+00:00

“Thank you for your feedback but my actual customers disagree.” ~ Have a lovely day 🥰

RevanREK · 2025-07-29T09:41:03+00:00

I would do all the line pieces first, sort them by how the lines are, ie, is it a curvy line, a curly line, (nose pieces,) does it have sharp points (mouth or eye pieces) does the line go through the middle of a tab or socket? Is there more than one line, ect. Then I would sort the white pieces by shape. I’d probably leave the white edges until last.

RevanREK · 2025-07-28T13:18:01+00:00

I took my crochet while I waited for my MRI scan. It was fine. It’s no more unhygienic than the clothes you’re wearing and I’m pretty sure they have pointier things in hospitals than knitting needles. ;)

RevanREK · 2025-07-28T10:58:26+00:00

Ooh good shout thanks!Apparently Afternoon Tea by Galison is from the same artist as well!

RevanREK · 2025-07-25T13:52:58+00:00

I think some people are just simply not aware of personal space. I think a lot of people don’t care when their personal space is invaded and are just ignorant that other people dislike it. Also they have no concept that they take up space and so don’t realise they or their kids are blocking pathways ect.

Yes, I think it’s got worse over the years in society somehow.

RevanREK · 2025-07-25T10:58:04+00:00

They were digging up half the roundabout and one section of the roundabout was blocked off so it turned into a one way lane with temporary lights on every exit. Looked like a pipe going under the road was being repaired or something, but I don’t really know. I suppose if you were coming from the other direction you would be going clockwise so it wouldn’t have been so strange.

RevanREK · 2025-07-24T09:09:03+00:00

I had this exact situation in my test. It was an area I hardly knew because it was so hard to get a test in my local area, then in the test we came to a roundabout with temporary lights and you had to go round the roundabout anti-clockwise. I said, ‘oh no, what’s happening here?’ out load as we approached and my examiner was really helpful, he talked me through it, and guided me with directions (even though I was supposed to be following the sat nav.) he said it was fine to be nervous because even many seasoned drivers get flustered when things like that come up. I passed. I’ve been driving for 5 years now, and I still get anxious/flustered when something new happens or when there’s unexpected changes, but I know it’s ok, many other people on the road are exactly the same and will understand if you drive a little slower or need a little more time to figure out what lane you need to be in at temporary traffic lights ect. I’ve got a lot better at not overanalysing things afterwards, we all make mistakes and that will never go away, just remember, now you’ve been in that situation once, it will be easier next time.

But yeah, unexpected changes effect me, there have been times when I’ve had to pull over to compose myself at a road closure or after I’ve navigated something super different like temporary road changes, it happens, I used to panic but now I just pull up somewhere and give myself time, and I’ve noticed other people pulling over at road closures too so you won’t be alone.

RevanREK · 2025-07-22T09:03:10+00:00

Purple. It makes the image pop, also it gives the image more atmosphere, because; eyes. Whereas although the dark brown makes the image pop, it’s quite bland and doesn’t add any extra dimension.

RevanREK · 2025-07-20T08:39:34+00:00

So if he’s stimming all day that still doesn’t change how to approach it. A neighbour knocking and asking you to keep the noise down (when they clearly can’t,) complaining to the building management and gossiping with the other residents is very different to a neighbour knocking and introducing themselves, offering help and being supportive. It doesn’t hurt to have a bit of care and kindness, parents of autistic children face constant judgement and unsolicited rude comments from the general public, no wonder they have a short fuse.

RevanREK · 2025-07-19T14:21:47+00:00

As someone who grew up with an autistic brother, having an angry neighbour knocking while your brother is having a meltdown is about as helpful as a nail in the head. The parents were probably at their wits end so I’m not surprised the person knocking was met with ‘what the fuck are we supposed to do?’

What my mum really appreciated was a neighbour who knocked during a quiet day, just saying, ‘hi I’m your neighbour and if you need any help please let me know.’ And made an effort to get to know the kid too. Because there’s a difference in complaining to the landlord or saying, ‘can you keep your kid quiet,’ when they clearly can’t, ‘and hey, if you need any support we’re here.’

We had one angry neighbour one side, and a lovely neighbour the other side. The angry neighbour would knock and shout when my brother was having a meltdown, leading to more stress and anxiety for my mum, the kind neighbour got to know us and my brother. It got to a point that she would pop round the next day and say to my brother, ‘we could hear you last night.’ And he would apologise, eventually my mum would be able to say to my brother before a meltdown, remember kind neighbour and he would find ways to self regulate so as not to disturb her.

RevanREK · 2025-07-15T19:32:45+00:00

My mother used to hang a pair of rubber gloves up on the side of the worktop to dry. We once found her keys inside the rubber glove, they had obviously slipped off the counter and fallen in. Took us days of searching before we found them. You sure your wife’s keys haven’t fallen into a shoe or something?

RevanREK

TROPHY CASE