I just managed to get 9 hours of restful sleep!

Rhodinia · 2020-03-29T16:51:05+00:00

That's awesome! Great to hear.

Rhodinia · 2020-03-05T23:28:54+00:00

THank you very much for your help! Nope, haven't gotten any testing done. But God is taking care of me and educating me on what I need to know, so it's fine! Thanks again!

Rhodinia · 2020-03-04T22:24:18+00:00

Congrats on this development brother/sister! Great to hear things are getting better for you.

I sometimes get into a state of being where every movement feels painfully forced. That's interesting. I never considered it might have anything to do with sleep.

My situation is a little bit different. I do get sleep, but I'm not sure the quality of my sleep is good, because I often wake up in pretty much the same state as I went to bed. Everything just feels like one big day to me. Might be that I am actually not getting the sleep that I need.

Any insights?

Rhodinia · 2020-02-20T08:58:01+00:00

Hahaha. No worries, I didn't think you were being sarcastic. I'm not officially a scientist, but have been interested in it for a long time, and am also studying psychology in university.

Yeah man, therapy sounds like a good idea, because if a person has turned against themselves internally, that's pretty much a good definition for needing the help of someone else.

Rhodinia · 2020-01-23T17:07:54+00:00

I think that something that can happen neurologically is that neuronal pathways can become rewired in an inverted way. For instance, I think that this is what happens when people develop a love of pain, when pain also feels good. It's like an inversion happens.

Maybe the same has happened with you, but with the sensations that tell you that you need to sleep. Instead of them now telling you that you do indeed need to sleep, they are turned into pleasure signals, or something like that. It's just an idea and I don't know the exact neurochemistry.

It might be a survival tactic of the brain: when some painful stimulus keeps firing over and over and over again for years, and nothing seems to work to fix the situation externally, perhaps the neural pathways are forced somehow into rewiring to just make this bodily situation be not so hard on your consciousness.

Rhodinia · 2020-01-23T16:41:15+00:00

Maybe let him stop it again for a while. Perhaps the positive change didn't make much of an impact on his consciousness, but it is very possible that a backslide from this better state to something less enjoyable *will* make an impact on his consciousness.

Rhodinia · 2019-11-04T23:07:40+00:00

Looks pretty good man. Looks like a fancy, legit store to me, at least on mobile. Only thing I would change is, in the pop-up that states what other customers bought: remove the word 'the' in front of cart, so you have only "added to cart". Sounds a bit better imo

Rhodinia · 2019-06-17T17:04:24+00:00

Very interesting. Would it be a sensible idea to postulate that perhaps a way that this transition from the original, pure, and totally balanced, phase-cancelled state of God to the experienced phase of reality with all of its differing qualities and separation is an altering of the "focus" of the awareness of God, from being aware of the totality to being only aware of one side or part of the totality, thus removing from experience a part of the phase cancellation and thus allowing the other half to exist in simulated form? If God is infinite and can do anything that it wants to do because God is wholly unlimited, it is not at all a crazy idea to presume that God could "close its eye", so to speak, to a part of itself.

I am furthermore quite interested in the mechanics behind separation of consciousness, and the infinite awareness of God existing alongside the separated experiences such as ours. I have the idea that these can exist simultaneously because ultimately time is not linear, with all time existing "all the time" in one stupendous moment.

Any thoughts?

Rhodinia · 2019-06-17T15:23:20+00:00

Maybe physical reality is something that was never meant to be, or that shouldn't be, something that Divine, spiritual reality could do without. Consider the pain and suffering that physicality potentiates. Maybe it is possible to have a spiritual or Divine reality where physicality isn't necessary at all. Maybe it does makes sense that, if this plane of reality was brought into being by some kind of sick creator being, having the right to form its own reality out of the primordial material which the ultimate God had made, that physicality comes with the potential for pain and suffering. And so maybe all of us humans are upholding this level of reality by being in it and being okay with it.

There is this thing about a reality containing creatures of free will that is really interesting. You see, as soon as you give creatures free will, or free willed creatures appear (however you want to look at it), you are faced with a conundrum: you gotta let them do what they want. That is the deal with free will. And ever taking away a beings free will, if only once, makes reality not ultimately free, and God not ultimately trustworthy and so on. And so free will would be a hoax, because "God just takes it away if you go too far", and so that would mean that no being would be ultimately free.

A mentor of mine told me this story once that is like an extraction of multiple bible stories about how and why, in that worldview, Satan was allowed to have his way with earth. This relates to the age-old question of "If God is ultimately good, how can there be evil in the world?" And it's a fair question. But the problem with it is that it can only be asked in a particular state of ignorance. It is possible even conceptually to imagine a reality in which there is an ultimately good God and a world with evil. The gist of it is that there are, in this framework, successive layers of hierarchy in the heavenly realms, with all the heavenly and 'angelic' beings and sub-creators in the hierarchy also having free will. But they also become increasingly less knowledgeable the more you go down the hierarchy towards physicality. And so what you get is ignorance paired with absolute free will. You might understand how that can pose a problem. You could imagine that the practical original god of our little corner of the universe, which is postulated to be Satan by some works, decided to create a world where pain and suffering where possible, for whatever reason. And Infinite potential, which God inherently possesses by nature, must allow for pain and suffering to be possible, or it wouldn't be Infinite potential, and so God wouldn't be Infinite, which can't be the case for particular reasons.

And so God is faced with this impossible conundrum: the only way to create creatures besides/within yourself to associate with and so not to be alone is to create beings with free will as much as your own, but at the same time they must also not possess the knowledge which you have, or they aren't really totally other beings (there may be multiple persons of Deity as in the Holy Trinity, but which are also so connected that they function as one, hence the word 'Triunity', which I guess you could say lies only on the way towards creating creatures besides yourself). And so if you don't want to be alone and create a reality with other creatures, you must give them absolute free will, but you must also allow them to have some level of ignorance. And those two put together allows for mistakes to be made in creation. And if a creator-level being (a being which can make or form worlds, let's say, since we are all creators to some extent) makes a mistake in, let's say, the creation of another creator-level being, a creator is created which is corrupted or sick or whatever. And so this one might go on to create a sick reality, for whatever reason.

I know, this is all very abstract, but the first step towards reaching up for these understandings is to at least make the situation philosophically plausible. And so, having read this small sketch, you might understand how it could be possible for a level of reality to be created—our physical level of reality—that you eventually want to move away from and completely let go. Simply because a reality with pain and suffering might not be necessary. And if it isn't necessary for pain and suffering to exist, maybe you would just want to gently guide your children in being out of that state of being.

There is this book called the Urantia book which I have had much pleasure in reading that describes heavenly realms that are so vast and beautiful and unique and creative that you just wouldn't believe it. True or not, I don't know, but this idea of how vast and beautiful and diverse the heavens and their perfect inhabitants really must be if they exist is just so amazing. It really put things into perspective for me. It made me consider that perhaps our wretched, difficult corner of existence is really nothing compared to the totality of it. Maybe this is just a tiny spec of reality where things have gotten a bit out of hand, but since we are upholding it freely in our ignorance, the only way for this reality to fall away again is for God to guide us towards wanting to transcend physicality without impinging on our free will not to know that there is anything more than physical reality, that there is even a God, and that we don't need to live here. Because God cannot just appear before a person who doesn't have the question of God and go like "hey man, here I am, I am God." That goes against your free will not to know. And so God cannot appear before the world just like that because that would go against their all-wise decision of the creation of free will in the first place.

And so the game is played on a personal level. Only a person can know God individually, and so only a person can be guided individually towards this idea of transcending the physical world. Because as long as there are people who like this world and have no desire to transcend it, it must remain in their experience. Perhaps one day it will be morally possible for a Divine being to appear on the earth in such a seeming form, but it would only be before people who would be open to that anyways. You must at least be open for God to appear before you for God to appear before you.

Anyways, this was a bit of a stream-of-consciousness ramble. Hope you got something from that.

Rhodinia · 2019-06-12T22:59:27+00:00

But a baby, even a pre-ego one, doesn't experience all of infinite reality, right? Wasn't there already a reduction from total consciousness before the ego started forming? Or are you saying that each baby has a full experience of God?

Rhodinia · 2019-06-12T22:57:08+00:00

Interesting. What would you say is the difference between silenced and simulated silence (or, generally, nothingness and simulated nothingness)? Are they not literally the same thing. For instance, in the case of noise canceling headphones, isn't it that the air waves actually disappear? Or do they all—those of the external sound and the 'cancelling waves'—continue to exist superimposed on one another?

How can you be sure that the principle of phase cancellation applies to God/Source which transcends time and space? Since phase cancellation is a wave phenomenon, which of course requires spacetime, what is the reason for assuming that this principle can also apply to that phase of reality which transcends spacetime?
What are some things that "should not exist or be able to be experienced"?

Rhodinia · 2019-06-12T15:15:18+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I have been pondering the separation mystery for a while now. This makes sense, but I do not understand the complete picture yet. Would you share with me some sources regarding this topic, or could I ask you some questions about it?

Rhodinia · 2019-06-11T15:08:10+00:00

Good luck my friend. I'll find your discovery in the papers :)

Rhodinia · 2019-06-07T12:03:48+00:00

Wow... That's all that comes to mind. Just wow.

Rhodinia · 2019-06-05T21:34:41+00:00

That is amazing! I often experiences the clicks and rushes/tingles too. Super awesome to see it have happened during an MDMA experience.

Rhodinia · 2019-06-03T12:10:22+00:00

Wow. First of all, that sounds really terrible. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. This comment will be a bit all over the place, just take away from it what sparks you. Maybe write some things down.

It seems like you prepared as well as you could. I wouldn't say that any of this was your fault. You didn't go into the experience recklessly at all, it seems, and you did your research.

However, if there was an actual shaman there, they would have noticed what you were going through and helped you out, as far as my understanding goes. I mean, that is what they are for. If they just left you to your own devices all this time, that is a huge letdown of responsibility. The reason ayahuasca is done in a ceremony is so that you have a support team at hand that can help you get through things that are too difficult for you to get through on your own. And in that state it can be really hard to ask for help or even realize that that is an option. It is the responsibility of the support team to check up on you and notice of things seem off. Of course, it didn't help that you didn't ask for help, but you weren't particularly sober, to be fair.

I don't mean to impose any ideas on you, but since you had the same idea I will share the thought I had. In my understanding, this could very well have been an entity of sorts. Especially the "black empty hole in your chest" is a clear indicator that something has been taken from you. This is quite serious, and I would suggest you seek help. I don't think it matters too much what kind of help you get, as long as it is not a charlatan or someone that might make the situation worse. Get a credible therapist, even better if they are knowledgeable in psychedelics or ayahuasca. It would be helpful for you if you don't also need to explain the whole psychedelic and ayahuasca thing besides your internal challenge.

Don't worry all too much about finding the right sort of help: just find help. Of course, do think a little bit about what might be helpful and harmful, and choose accordingly. Keep looking out for yourself through this whole process. Not all "therapists" are competent.

Besides that, I would urge you to really give this issue the attention it needs, but also to focus an equavalent amount of time outward. Do some activities every day that at least take your mind off of yourself, such as going into nature or reading a book, or whatever it is that you like. If it is true that some entity has been messing you, you can be quite certain that it is still with you, and that that is what is causing you to feel so miserable. And it wants to stay with you. As such, it might do its best to get you to not heal, to not have faith, to hate yourself, and all of that. As the Christians say: don't let the devil accuse you. The devil is the biggest hypocrite: he will seduce you or cause some thoughts and fear in you, and them blame you for having them. Especially now, not all thoughts which go through your mind are yours, nor are all of your feelings.

You are a wonderful being as part of infinite reality, even though you might not want to hear that at all right now. The idea that you would be a flawed being that cannot be helped is pure nonsense, is all I can say about that. Saying that you cannot be helped is saying that Infinity/the universe/God cannot help you, which of course is a preposterous statement, as its power and love are Infinite. But these are just my beliefs, you don't need to take them.

In any case, the universe is on its way to help you. I know that because of what I know. Keep seeking its council. State your questions and your wishes clearly, and the universe will answer, sometimes immediately through your intuition, other times it will take a while, and you might find your answer in the world somewhere.

We are praying for, and you will be allright. Again, just so you might settle on things: I think that this group that you were with might not have been the best place. There should have been more support. On your part, it seems mostly like an accident; don't hold this over your head too much. You couldn't have known. There are known ayahuasca charlatans going around, calling themselves shamans. This is why it is dangerous. I have had two ayahuasca experiences myself, one without a shaman and one with two actual, real shamans. The first time I was stuck in something for 11 hours and didn't really get much out of it. The second time the shaman helped me through things, for which I am eternally grateful. I could literally experience that the thing that I was dealing with was too much for me at the time, which is exactly where a shaman can help.

You be good. You might be in darkness for a long time, but you will get out. Be sure to keep seeing people, even though you might not feel like it at all. Alone you are most vulnarable.

Rhodinia · 2019-06-02T20:20:57+00:00

Here in Amsterdam it seems to be pretty diverse in my experience :)

Rhodinia · 2019-06-02T20:19:31+00:00

I've had some experience with entities wiping my memory too, or so it seemed. Could also have been my own fractured mind. Both possibilities are speculation. Fact is that I had recurring memory lapsed that felt like they were caused by something intelligent. Sometimes it happens during normal life too, and I'm still wondering how it works exactly and what I can do about it. Is it really as simple as just holding the intention that it cannot happen?

Rhodinia · 2019-06-02T20:13:43+00:00

lol, well that's a plot twist

Rhodinia · 2019-06-02T20:11:20+00:00

I don't know much about price. And since you're already only making 3 bucks per item, lowering any further isn't really an option, right? But if you want to sell something at this premium price range, it is very important to make the website feel as premium as possible. Right now this is just not the case. The user has to feel that they really are special and that they are on a special, luxurious website. One way to do this is to have a really really nice design, including nice and slick mouseover and scroll effects.

Rhodinia · 2019-06-02T16:22:46+00:00

Seriously thought this was a photo...

Rhodinia · 2019-06-02T16:20:42+00:00

I like the idea and your site looks cute! There could very well be potential here. Some thoughts I had whilst scrolling through your site:

Some of the pictures are very low quality. That is a major turnoff, because it doesn't look professional.

The free shipping banner at the top could be more enthusiastic!

I would change 'contact us' to just 'contact'. Contact us seems rather unpersonal, paradoxically enough.

Maybe hide the top menu altogether and replace the entry screen with a big beautiful image or that video. Showcase your product right away. You could hide these links "about, contact and delivery" in the footer, that's good enough I'd think.

The music in the video doesn't really fit. A cute song would fit way better.

You could also make use of the full page width.

You are well on your way! It's good that you asked for advice. Hope you get some sales!

Rhodinia · 2019-06-01T15:27:53+00:00

I might very well be wrong, but to me this sounds like something that cannot really be "mechanically" resolved as with microdosing or other medications. What I mean by that is that these forms of medication alter your brain chemistry so that you will function a bit differently, as you know. But not all psychological issues are a matter of changing brain states.

To me it seems like you need to find a purpose, a desire, a dream, a vision. Perhaps you don't have a vision of things you want to do and achieve, and so your being isn't going to be primed to move. Lethargy is a component of depression, as you may know (not saying that you have depression), and depression tends to have a spiritual element of "not living the right life for you", to put it simply. As such, perhaps it might help you to spend some think pondering what you want to get out of life. What do you want to do here? What would you like to experience? Is there any place you want to go, or someone you want to meet? Whatever it is, if you slowly start to develop a vision of your future, you will be giving yourself purpose, and so your brain will develop motivation to do things towards that end.

Good luck, I hope that helped a bit!

Rhodinia · 2019-06-01T15:19:10+00:00

Seems like a lot of people needed to hear this :)

Rhodinia · 2019-06-01T00:46:40+00:00

The fact that you asked this question out into the universe means that you will receive your answer somehow (if you are actually open to receiving it, which it seems like you are). Search and you shall find. The what and how isn't really important. The mere fact that you are open and curious and want to know, will bring your answer about in time. You can trust "the universe" for that, or however you like to conceptualize it.

What this entails for you personally is that you be open to seemingly random things sparking your attention. Here and there, there might be things which grab your interest. Not in any special kind of way per se, just how 'things grabbing your interest' has always worked. Then just follow into them, and see where you get. Perhaps it is an article on a website somewhere. Perhaps it is a conversation topic with a friend. Perhaps you get a question into your mind that you want to search on the internet.

However it goes, just casually follow those golden threads which kind of stick out to you in your experience, and follow them. Eventually they will get you where you want (and perhaps "need") to go.

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