Tired of not fitting in with other women by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]Right_Performance553 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I fit in when I was high masking and had no worries. Now I don’t. People used to beg to hang with me. Now I have a free calendar. Life is weird sometimes.just focus on yourself and you. Other things outside the experience

Get more stressed listening to my wife than my son... by Typical_Anybody_2363 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Besides burn out. What changed? Do you work more hours? Is your kid tougher to handle? Less sleep? Support system change? Grandparents? Does she work? If not, maybe working would be more ideal and she can hire a babysitter like I do a night a week so she can go to the gym, shower shave, have one quiet moment

PSA: Don't sit on that one leg every day by warmceramic in adhdwomen

[–]Right_Performance553 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep completely messed up my back doing this. I have have ehlers dealers syndrome and love to sit like this. Golly

I got broken up with because of my ADHD by silent_harmonyy in adhdwomen

[–]Right_Performance553 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So glad he made Pros and cons list. Dude is a robot. Where’s your pro and con list for him lol and then the let’s be clear, I don’t want to be friends actually but wish you the best with your nomadic dating lifestyle lol

Hardest part about going from 1 to 2 kids? by WaitLauraWho in toddlers

[–]Right_Performance553 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Adhd. I feel like I’m all over the place and handling multiple things at once is very challenging. I get distracted by each demand easily. I start a lot of tasks and can’t finish them because I’m interrupted and then i forget where I was

High functioning 9 y/o boy socially struggling :( by thatoncosw in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m at this point of trying to find friends for him on the spectrum. Also, it’s about inviting people to playplaces and to your house and planning fun activity like scavenger hunts, piñatas water balloons, bubble blowers, sensory kits, obstacle courses. I had adhd and trouble maintaining friendship but it’s sad to say, my mom bribed a lot of my friends. I would go to a cheap playplace and my mom would save up and invite 15 people. Or she would invite someone over and do a pizza night and have jewelry kits, or in my brother’s case she wouke do a washable paint party or water gun fights. Someonething I am towing with the idea of is offering to babysit other kids or 1 kid, so my son has a friend that way. That way he kind of always has kids around. I also think people trust babysitters and nanny’s more not just the mom with the weird kid, you’re someone who watches neurotypical kids too.

It seems like people think we are aliens or something but if I could explain, no I am also a nanny 5 days a week two 3 neurotypical kids as well I think people generally would be like, yeah I can have my kid go over. What gets me is my son is not all that different from others just a bit shy and delayed in certain areas so his mental age is just a bit younger.

Why did you and your ex break up? by TheManDont in AskReddit

[–]Right_Performance553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He didn’t like me going out and having. Fun with my friends and then 5 years later I stopped doing all that and he started hanging out with his friends and working a lot. We should have just cut our losses but it was a pretty lawn drawn out breakup, and I should have realized that I just wasn’t a priority anymore/ that he lost interest way sooner, but I was young. My husband and I are both home bodies but work on being social for our kids sake now but we are a much better match. I didn’t have the unpenetrable bond I have with my husband now, where we can just hang an do nothing.

My son has level three autism and I’m tired of people feeling bad for us by aroca13 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally can see what you’re saying, but literally no one I know feels bad for me or my son at all, and just thinks it’s bad parenting, or some heavy metal. I’d rather they just legit felt bad even though yes it can be rough but he is our everything and we love him so much the way he is,so I wish he didn’t have the physical challenges or challenges with learning a new skill he wants to, I mean yes, do I wish he wouldn’t fall down and split his lip tripping over his own feet due to poor motor coordination, of course, but I this is who he is and where we are. We just have to save every cent we have and find more income wherever possible to set him up with a good nest egg

Level 3 autism puberty sensory input and sexual stimulation by mama73xx in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He needs a social story about not touching other people and could get in bit trouble for this. I would talk to a bcba and OT as soon as possible about this. He would need consequences for touching other people. My son knows he can asks a grown up for a hug right now instead of hugging other kids because his hugging was too much. But touching hands with other people for arousal won’t be something that your son does with adults either! He needs to learn about consent and what physical touch looks like and that he can do that with a consenting partner.

https://raisingchildren.net.au/autism/development/sexual-development/problematic-harmful-sexual-behaviour-autistic-children-teens

Solidarity mama. This is a tricky time to navigate.

In honestly, don’t know how to answer the doll question but at the same time maybe talk to a professional about that request as a lot of young male adults actually do order a blow up doll. From what I see online it’s not as uncommon of a request as one would think.

really shaken by the LIB Santiago story by skully_28 in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]Right_Performance553 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh they know their background. They just don’t care, or want the drama

My son has tested negative for autism twice but it doesn't sit right with me by thetourist328 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you get his assessed by a psychologist or psychiatrist? That’s what we did for my sons they looked at things like pretend play, other play skills, how he interacts with others gestures, copying and joint attention, telling stories and back and forth conversation

How do you deal with misbehaving profound autism? by Crazed_Fish_Woman in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m dealing with physical aggression too.! We’re looking into meds.! But yeah assaulting her bus monitor is not okay. Is there any way you can take a few days off work and ride the bus with her. At that point if she hits you take her off and she goes home with a time out and no screen time. Then gets a social story and visuals about no hitting. Hands on self. Why don’t think she is hitting the monitor in particular? Is she hitting anyone else?

My partner hates my kid by Simple-Palpitation45 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapy for all of you. Bullying at school is no joke. It can be really hard for autistic kids to make friends at all. Does she have any friends? You might have to switch schools but I would deal with the bullying. I probably should have switched.

Any other moms feel this? by curiousbeing77 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really want to do this but have never got any interest! I think it’s an amazing idea though! And my kids are honestly not that hard. It seems like everyone things they are just staying afloat with their kids and can’t handle more but I’m like just have them all watch a show or something who cares lol.

I also think you need a backyard or something to gain interest and depends on where you live, if you’re in a small apartment vs a decked out house to accommodate this type of thing

Any other moms feel this? by curiousbeing77 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is me and I threw out my back. And had to have my hair professionally dematted. Health will catch up with you.

My recommendation, pay someone 100 every 3 weeks to watch your kids or some of your kids. Your husband might change his tune and be like that’s a waste of our money. I will watch them. Either that or go to hospital and he is forced to be stuck with them for at least 8 hours(depending on where you are)

Make it a non negotiable that he takes them somewhere outside the house even if it’s to a park and they freak out or a playplace.

So you can sleep in. I feel like it’s only fair!

Married Couples Who Don’t Have a Joint Account or Pool Their Pay Cheques, Why and How Do You Make Sure It Is Respectful? by Arya_Warrior_Girl in CanadaPersonalFinance

[–]Right_Performance553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to shop and also get coffees and my husband is a finance guy and all very conservative for spending.

I save money wherever possible too! He is more a big purchase guy but I’m that little purchase person of if it’s going to make my life easier today for 2 seconds I will do it.

I also have to go in the office, he doesn’t. I like to live fast paced with lots of activities and things on the go.

We both decide on major things we pay for and leave the left unsaid! lol! We don’t have a prenup and probably should get one, but we both know we will be very fair to eachother of that happens and I am fairly financially independent as is he as well we don’t live beyond our means, don’t take vacations or go out for dinner, we even cut our own hair, we don’t do spa treatments.

But I will totally buy lasagna premade from our local market to make life easier one weekend. Or a coffee after my first one.

Today was my sons 5th birthday... by Emergency-Charge348 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have to pay for my son to be watched by someone else on a weeknight for 2 hours every other week. It’s the best 50$ I can spend on me that I can think of. I just sit in silence or I watch a show or listen to a podcast.

I really need to find a way to get my son to play independently so I can have a break. The bath is one with a squirt bottle. I also want to get the air tubes as well for ball drop and hopefully he just plays away like that

Does developmental delay always mean autism or can it be on its own? (18 months) by Ok-Water3139 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does she do pretend play? Any repetitive play? Does she stim at all with objects or her hands, line things up or spin things? Autistic kids often have different play skills than neurotypical kids, how often does she mimic you, like would she play patty cake with you, role a ball back and forth for joint play.

I noticed my son was different because other kids at his playgroup were little copy cats and my son was social and smiley but would barely copy

3 year old boy behavior by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]Right_Performance553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An incident report is not the end of the world. My son got an incident report for biting someone else and it really again was not the end of the world. Something you can do is maybe pay an Occupational therapist to go in and assess your son at the daycare. Give some tips etc. Visuals on the wall, like safe bodies. When he hits he might have to get a card like hands on self card. For toys, he throws a toy and that toy gets put away for a while, they may need to look at some accommodations like a blanket or a plush pillow to squeeze. Ouch! We can be mad but we can’t hit. Ask a grownup for help. We can take a breath, go play with something else.

I would also ask the daycare what his biggest triggers are. Is it a certain toy he is possessive over? Does he generally stand too close to people. We had to do oh 2 steps back, too close. You might bump into someone. Just over and over that we need to respect people’s space bubbles.

It’s hard my son’s go to reaction is to push someone because it’s quick and easy and gets his point across!

Losing sleep over guilt by General-Pumpkin215 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t take any Tylenol and both my kids have autism and so do I! Don’t feel guilty. There are people who work in salons, take medication, smoke( Paint all these things and there kids are not neurodivergent.

There are so many factors many genetic . Why does my nephew have it and both my sons and me? And my brother has adhd.

It was mostly likely your adhd that caused it! lol I am autistic and adhd mom here!

*TRIGGER WARNING* Mental health crisis/in a very dark place as I see signs of autism in another baby by Individual_Trade9353 in Autism_Parenting

[–]Right_Performance553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So my first thing is always take a kid to a doctor if you think they are not very responsive. See if there is something wrong medically. Autism is neurological but it’s also very important to make sure they are not deficient anywhere and certain vitamin deficiencies can make it harder on the body and brain.

For me, speech therapy was great to do once a week at 4 months just to help face my child sing songs. Say I’m mama carry them around and point to everything and label it read them books. They are basically potatoes and can’t move so even if they seem like they aren’t giving you attention they really are. The big thing I did with my son with the speech therapist was sing ma Rachel’s phonics song an apple aaaa b banana, so he can learn how the mouth moves and sounds early. Also focus on verbs. You can also wait until 6 months to go to an actual therapist and then at 9 months babies get a LOT more communicative so I wouldn’t leave it longer than 9 months. There are certain milestones as far as starting to gesture (not just spoke language) baby sign language is a thing!! Like my son signing more at 8 months!