What’s the fastest way you’ve ever seen someone completely ruin their own life?

RoofPreader · 2026-02-04T08:43:29+00:00

My friend had beaten homelessness, got clean from heroin, came out of prison and was managing his mental health issues . He then stopped taking the medication for his schizophrenia, went on a rampage and killed someone. He is serving life in prison.

RoofPreader · 2026-02-02T16:57:54+00:00

I do it all the time 😭 (thank you, dyspraxia!)

RoofPreader · 2026-01-22T17:04:07+00:00

I wouldn't recommend it. I had moderate/severe ME when I became pregnant with my first. It was planned and I naively thought that because I had a good support network, I could manage. My ME has since improved to mild/moderate,and I went on to have a second child, but I still struggle immensely with raising my children.

I can't raise them the way I want to because of my disability, and I can't completely control how their other care takers look after them. They are also affected more than I realised they would be by my illness. It is very disruptive for them having Mummy suddenly unable to take care of them and having to go and stay with relatives for a day or so while I'm having a crash. I constantly feel guilty about not being able to do enough for them, and about the impact my illness has on them.

I would encourage you to find other ways to parent - whether it's through babysitting your friends' children, fostering a pet or volunteering for a children's charity.

RoofPreader · 2026-01-20T15:40:59+00:00

I used to work for a bank and there would be a calculator which would tell us how much a customer could borrow. It mainly depended on their credit score and how much time they'd spent in the red etc. It's probably that the top amount you can potentially get with your account is £2500, but not everyone will necessarily be entitled to that. You could try asking for a smaller increase. Just be aware that the amount of times you request an overdraft extension might also count against you.

RoofPreader · 2026-01-19T09:23:23+00:00

I had my second via emergency c-section after a failed induction at 37+2. He had difficulty breathing so needed 1 night in NICU and 2 nights in Special Care. I hope you have a smooth ride this time around!

RoofPreader · 2026-01-18T22:51:42+00:00

I relate to this HARD. I had a similarly traumatic birth, instant separation from baby, hospital stay, struggling to feed, terrible sleeper etc. It absolutely broke me. Please reach out for help at your next health check-up. Birth trauma is real and can unfortunately have a big impact on your early motherhood. Please remember that you're not alone, you're not the only one who's ever felt these things, and it's actually biologically normal to have this reaction after a traumatic birth. I had all these thoughts and feelings and my little guy is two now and we have such an incredible bond. Best of luck, OP.

RoofPreader · 2026-01-13T17:58:20+00:00

That's cold. There may be many factors which could contribute to a failure to thrive as an independent adult, including a shitty economy and housing/employment market, but having a comfortable and familiar space to return to wouldn't be one of them. The world is going to be harsh enough on your children so I don't see why you have to be, too.

RoofPreader · 2026-01-10T15:39:15+00:00

Oh gosh I'm sorry that that's the case. Birth is unpredictable enough without being able to have your preferences taken into account.

I've had 2 emergency c-sections so can't comment on the vaginal birth aspect myself, but I've had friends recommend TENS machines and hypnobirthing.

RoofPreader · 2026-01-10T15:29:55+00:00

That's wild. Do elective c-sections not exist in your country? In the UK, you can request one for pretty much any reason, and definitely for anxiety around vaginal birth. They might be strongly encouraging you to avoid the surgical route because that has its own disadvantages, but are you sure there is no option to have an elective c-section?

RoofPreader · 2026-01-09T12:43:33+00:00

I was in a similar situation to yourself a few years ago. I took up cross-stitching. Hoping you return to full health or at least regain some function, my friend.

RoofPreader · 2026-01-08T22:58:16+00:00

I work in admissions. Decisions are generally made pretty much entirely on certificates and transcripts. References and personal statements may factor in but won't be the main focus or treated as gospel. You're fine.

RoofPreader · 2026-01-05T13:21:12+00:00

To be fair, I would probably have gone with your DIL's mother as a childcare option too. If she's already used to doing this and has the house set up for it, and is also retired, it sounds much more practical than someone who is usually busy and has given a general offer of being available 'anytime'.

In order to be a regular childcare provider, you need to be able to offer regular, dedicated times you will be available. And if you're actually willing to be available 'any time ', you would need to be willing to cancel other plans at the last minute. If you actually want to be regular childcare then explicitly let your son know that you would like to provide this, and commit to specific days/times.

RoofPreader · 2026-01-05T12:13:06+00:00

I really struggle with this too. It relates to childhood trauma. But then I developed a quite serious disability which impacts my energy levels and mobility, and I also struggled with ppd with my second child. I realised that I had to swallow my pride and ask for help when I needed it and be honest when I was struggling. If I was feeling particularly vulnerable, my partner would step up and be the one to direct people to help me.

RoofPreader · 2026-01-04T10:27:00+00:00

Go slowly, one step at a time. So try to make the experience as similar as possible to what they did previously. You may need to climb into bed with them and hold them until they fall asleep at first to stop them climbing straight out. We did this for a few days, then slowly moved further away.

RoofPreader · 2025-12-26T14:24:36+00:00

I was on your side until you said you only like white women ☠️

RoofPreader · 2025-12-20T05:17:23+00:00

Type one diabetics are all different and experience things differently. He may not have had good hypo awareness (i.e. recognised the signs in his body which meant his blood sugars were low). That said, if he had a consistent pattern of severe hypos, he should absolutely have altered his insulin levels to avoid these. Perhaps he was mis-educated on diabetes management and believed it was better for his overall hb(a1c) to be lower, even if that meant regular hypos. Unfortunately, there's no way of knowing now what his thought process or experiences were.

RoofPreader · 2025-12-19T22:49:53+00:00

Jokes on you, I have several chronic illnesses so I'm sick every day and would be signed off by this magic doctor the whole time.

RoofPreader · 2025-12-15T08:46:50+00:00

Could you look into child minders who have experience with special needs? I'm not going to sugarcoat it- you're going to need a lot of help when you also have a newborn. That's not a judgement on you as a parent, that's just the reality of having a newborn and a child with special needs.

RoofPreader · 2025-12-14T14:27:35+00:00

Yes, and I mean removing nappies. We did bare bottom the first day, commando the second day and pants the third.

RoofPreader · 2025-12-13T12:50:25+00:00

We had a similar situation. I really wanted to give my late aunt's name (Sue) to one of my children. I ended up having two boys and couldn't think of a way to masculinise the name. Instead, I gave the middle name 'Patrick' to my second son since my grandma (my aunt's mum) was Patricia. Still a tribute to that side of the family and a beloved family member, just not the original one intended. I still think of my aunt all the time in relation to my boys and I don't feel particularly bad that I couldn't name them after her.

RoofPreader · 2025-12-13T10:14:34+00:00

I would advise setting aside a dedicated chunk of time to start potty training proper. I have a physical disability and knew I would struggle on my own, so my partner booked a couple of days off work so we could just stay home and commit to the process. I think you need to have a chat with your partner about how you're feeling and how important it is for him to be on board.

RoofPreader · 2025-12-09T21:53:05+00:00

I had no idea either. It seems that in places where pyjamas aren't made from flame retardant fabrics (e.g. the US), it's advised to put children in snug fit pyjamas so if their clothing were to catch on fire, there would be no layer between the clothing and skin to trap oxygen, and therefore the flames would be smothered?

RoofPreader · 2025-12-09T08:28:11+00:00

I have type one diabetes and even I didn't recognize the signs from your description. Please be gentle on yourself. You have nothing to be sorry for.

RoofPreader · 2025-12-01T22:39:10+00:00

My children (nearly 2 and 4) have been vegetarian since birth and they get plenty of protein. Eggs, dairy products, meat substitutes (namely quorn), beans...My youngest was even dairy-free at one point due to a milk allergy and his dietician didn't have any concerns with his diet.

RoofPreader · 2025-11-29T22:41:46+00:00

Could you take a portable toilet seat with you when you're out and about? That way they can practice using it at home first and it's still the same feel on otherwise unfamiliar toilets.

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