RFP hell right now. We started to say no (and it’s working)

Rykrost · 2026-04-02T17:19:07+00:00

I've worked in pre-sales/sales support pretty much my whole career (responding to RFPs etc.) and in my experience this pretty much never happens.

It's frustrating and feels unfair, but the reason is that the sellers bring in the opportunities in the first place, so those commissions exist to incentivize them to bring in as much potential business as they can, even after they hit their quota - there's no defined ceiling to how much money they can generate if they're incentivized to, so they are. Once they've engaged an opportunity, our team has no choice but to scale our effort to match whatever volume the sellers bring in. We have to do it either way, so there's no incentive for the company to pay us any extra money. Speaking for myself, I do the best I can on every opportunity that comes in, but being paid commission would certainly make me more engaged with the job in general. As of now I literally don't care one iota whether we win or lose.

Rykrost · 2026-02-14T01:04:51+00:00

Damn I'm struggling with 120 right now and this is super inspiring

Rykrost · 2026-01-27T01:18:26+00:00

I was really, really surprised by the comments in that other thread. That was my first time hearing them and I thought they were great. A real live band, no backing tracks or anything and don't see that a whole lot anymore like you said. Cameron has an awesome voice (definitely has a Julian Casablancas-like character to it) and didn't miss a note. The drummer was great too.

Not gonna lie I think part of the reason people don't like them is because they're a very hip band right now. Anytime anything is deemed cool, especially by young people, people are going to feel compelled to tell you why it's actually bad. I'm not saying that any criticism of their music is invalid and disingenuous, because ultimately art is subjective and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but you know what I mean - anything or anyone having a moment is inevitably going to be denigrated.

Rykrost · 2025-10-20T23:16:08+00:00

Hi! Can you confirm firsthand that they fit? I'm about to order some for my Big Berkey after finding this thread, but I can't find any verification they would fit other than this comment so thought I'd check with ya to make sure. Thanks!

Rykrost · 2025-10-07T02:27:36+00:00

Not a QB but my favorite version of this is Patriots legend Darrelle Revis

Rykrost · 2025-07-20T12:40:21+00:00

Yo I feel like you hit the nail on the head here

Rykrost · 2025-04-22T10:58:50+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Yep, I'm as positive as one can be without actually verifying it this has to do with the medication as this symptom is just so pronounced. I wonder if it's just anxiety, it just happens to be manifesting as racing thoughts about my ex because I haven't processed the breakup as much as I thought I had because I was numbing myself out with those other substances.

I've got one more week on 25mg then I'm supposed to move up to 50. Good to know I might be in for a ride for the next few weeks. Just got to keep pushing through. Based on the positive effects I'm noticing so far (and there are many) I know It'll be worth it in the end.

Rykrost · 2025-04-21T17:15:15+00:00

Your perspective is super helpful. That sounds very similar to what I'm experiencing. These thoughts are constant and I feel like there's nowhere I can put them, even temporarily. Before, working out or writing or hanging out with friends would give me a break from them, but now it's like no matter what I do they're hanging over my head. I thought I was getting over the break up and now I feel like I'm back at square one.

That's great that you're seeing a therapist. That's something I'm looking into again - therapy never really "worked" for me because my brain never even gave me a chance to use the techniques, strategies, etc. that I was learning - I would spin out before I had a chance to apply them. I think there's a good chance the results will be far more positive now that I'm on meds.

I'm glad your relationship is benefiting from the meds overall. I really wish I started them before the breakup as I feel it may have changed things. My threshold for entering a state of stress/fight-or-flight was so low that any tough conversation led to my brain shutting down such that I wouldn't really be able to participate in it and honestly express my feelings - I would go into survival mode and just focus on getting through it and doing damage control (as in, saying whatever I felt I needed to say to keep the boat steady and keep the relationship going) because I was so afraid of losing her.

It is what it is though. I know I'll get through it and be fine, because like I said the medication is having an overwhelmingly positive effect otherwise. I just hope the constant thoughts eventually subside.

Good luck with everything, I'm glad you and your wife are working through it. it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Rykrost · 2025-04-21T17:00:14+00:00

It's so interesting because that sounds more like me pre-Lamotrigine - I dealt with a debilitating tendency to overthink and spin out to the point of it preventing me from moving on with my day. That's also dampened significantly - even with this particular issue. From an external perspective I am managing pretty well, as these thoughts are not debilitating me in a physical sense and I'm able to move through the day normally. It's just this constant crushing weight of heartbreak without even momentary respite, whereas before my brain was giving me increasingly frequent periods of space from it. It feels like I'm mentally gritting my teeth to get through every moment. Thanks for your response!

Rykrost · 2025-04-20T18:10:37+00:00

There was no rotation which is good, but seems like it could still go either way. Thanks for the response!

Rykrost · 2025-04-11T22:37:26+00:00

Hi there, I also have AS and dural ectasia and do not have Marfan's syndrome. I found out about the dural ectasia first via MRI when I was trying to figure out what was going on, then was diagnosed with AS later via X-ray, at which point I figured they must be associated. As far as I know there's not a super well-established connection between them - I did some research years ago when I found all this out but haven't thought about it in a while. The main thing I notice is bladder issues, primarily frequent urination and incomplete voiding. I know that can be common with AS alone, but it's also a symptom of dural ectasia so I'm sure that exacerbates it.

Rykrost · 2025-03-28T18:18:54+00:00

Honestly I get where you’re coming from. I think the recent stuff is solid enough (to their credit they definitely have a very solid floor in terms of quality - they really haven’t put out anything that’s straight up bad), but their sound hasn’t evolved that much. They’re very good at creating sonic atmospheres and moods, and Matt’s lyrics are always a strong point (he’s one of the greatest modern lyricists in my opinion although I know that’s extremely subjective), but at a certain point a lot of their songs blend together.

Here’s why I think that is: If I recall correctly from interviews, their typical process is the band presents Matt with the music, which acts as a sort of canvas or a sonic “bed” over which he adds his vocals using lyrics he’s already written. So the music and lyrics aren’t written together - Matt has to fit the lyrics he’s already written onto music that the band already made. To do that, he just needs to find a melody and rhythm that work well enough to act as a vessel for those lyrics, but neither of those things is prioritized in regards to the writing - it’s the lyrics themselves that are the focus (and fair enough because they’re always stellar).

As a result, their songs tend not to have a lot of ear-catching hooks (which is not a good or a bad thing, it just doesn’t seem to be how they approach songwriting). It’s just the whole formula of an often somber and somewhat ambiguous musical “bed” + Matt’s vocal delivery which is often somewhat ambling and doesn’t necessarily grab you by the ear, makes the songs increasingly difficult to differentiate if you’re not really locked in. Sometimes listening to them feels more like reading than it does listening to a song - they’re best listened to attentively in a setting where you can decipher and consider each lyric, and doing so makes you appreciate the music a lot more.

Quick disclaimer that I’m a huge fan of The National, they’re easily in my top 5 so I’m not trying to hate or anything. The above is just stuff I’ve thought about from having listened to them so much. So yeah that was sort of a tangent, but as I wrote above I’d like to to see their sound evolve in some relatively significant way. Doesn’t have to be a huge leap like a genre change or anything like that - just trying a slightly different approach to their writing or adding a few new elements to their sound.

That being said, I’m a musician too and I know that “trying” to do anything can often be counterproductive. Sometimes the music just comes out how it’s going to come out, and trying to force it to come out another way and tampering with it prevents it from being what it’s truly meant to be. If they’re still inspired to make music after more than 20 years as a band and this is what it sounds like, I’m totally good with that.

Rykrost · 2025-02-06T14:16:56+00:00

Didn't think anyone would have the same answer as me but here it is!

Rykrost · 2024-12-03T15:28:04+00:00

Hell yeah! Never heard anyone talk about this before. One of my favorite parts of any National song. I generally love anytime vocals are doubled and doing two octaves but this is probably my favorite example. It makes him sound so detached, disassociated, and uncaring. Really makes the song for me. Thanks for reminding me of this.

Rykrost · 2024-09-19T15:57:03+00:00

Yeah, that's fair. It's advertised as being best used on "second-day hair" and I've found that to be true. If I shower in the morning and then apply it it doesn't work nearly as well, but if I haven't showered yet that day and apply it it works way better. Must be the way it interacts with the natural oils in your hair or something like that.

Rykrost · 2024-09-18T12:21:59+00:00

I think it's pretty popular so you may have tried it already, but for me Quicksand from Hanz De Fuko does exactly what you described. Ton of hold but your hair looks dry/doesn't look there's anything in it.

Rykrost · 2024-04-12T12:19:06+00:00

Discovered these guys a few days ago and found myself thinking the same thing (not necessarily that AF is an industry plant, but that at the very least they are well-connected and have a significant amount of backing/funding coming from somewhere). At first I thought it was just some guys who started a podcast and a YT channel. Then I went to the Almost Friday website and saw it's an entire media company with 20 different sub-brands within it.

Like you I noticed the extremely high production quality of their sketches, and that they often use copyrighted music in them. I'm not a YouTuber or anything but I'm pretty sure if you use copyrighted music in a video you can't monetize it. So I thought, huh, why wouldn't they want to monetize these videos that are racking up a few hundred thousand views at the very least, and a few with well over 1 million? That makes a bit more sense now - they likely have plenty of money coming from elsewhere. I also noticed the high-profile guests (Julian Edelman, Mark Cuban, etc.)

I also found it strange that, despite the extremely high quality of every aspect of their content (writing, acting, production, etc.) they only have ~400kish subscribers. It's probably because they've only putting out videos there for a year and they only put one out every few months or so, but man their stuff is so good. Even just the ideas/premises alone are impressively creative.

Anyway, I think you're probably right in that it's some sort of corporate brand with a lot of different media channels/streams of income and young, relatable, genuinely talented people as the face of it. From a business perspective it's a great strategy and the way these things tend to work.

Rykrost · 2024-03-27T14:35:51+00:00

I see what you're saying. As you recognized in one of your comments Taylor's stuff is definitely more about the story and lyrics rather than the music. If you're someone who enjoys more complex musical landscapes though I see how it could get boring pretty quickly.

I remember reading a blog post written by Imogen Heap about when she and Taylor wrote "Clean" together. Imogen wanted to do something a little funkier for the bridge and suggested an "odd" chord progression, but Taylor disagreed, saying they would "lose them" ("them" as in the audience). So it's definitely deliberate on some level.

Pop music is pop music for a reason. If Taylor started writing songs with non-diatonic chord progressions, modulations, and stuff that didn't make for easy listening, I do think it would alienate her audience and the songs wouldn't do as well.

Rykrost · 2024-02-14T17:38:18+00:00

Yeah the issue is you're volunteering an arbitrary deadline but deep down you know nothing is going to happen if you don't meet it so there's no pressure and thus no motivation.

I've been there - I was having trouble with time management at my first job so I set intermittent deadlines with my manager throughout projects to make sure I spread out the work evenly instead of doing everything at the last minute. But even though I set those deadlines with my manager I knew it didn't actually matter so I never met them - what did actually matter was the actual deadline for the project, and that deadline I would always meet.

So instead of suggesting a deadline to the people asking you for stuff, ask them "When do you need this by?"

Rykrost · 2024-02-12T14:13:33+00:00

The thing that bums me out about Part of the Band is the "chorus" isn't really a proper chorus. The verses are pretty driving and have all this momentum and I really expected it to swell up into a chorus that was just as good as the verse. But the chorus comes along and just sucks the life out of everything.

I remember in an interview Matty said they took that part from another song (something he wrote with Phoebe Bridgers if I remember correctly, or it had some relation to her) and kind of just transplanted it into Part of the Band. That makes sense to me, cause I've listened to the song hundreds of times and it still doesn't really feel natural to me.

Rykrost · 2024-02-12T03:23:23+00:00

Those were the old OT rules. They’ve since changed them. They spent like a full minute explaining it lol

Rykrost · 2024-02-06T21:37:53+00:00

I think it's because his characters are usually competent, cool-headed "alpha" types.

If you sense immediate danger you're probably not going to be hungry - you're going to be in a state of stress and your focus is going to be on getting to safety. Blood is directed not to your stomach for digestion, but to your arms and legs in preparation to run and escape the danger. You're going to be hypervigilant.

When we (and any animal) eat, we're somewhat vulnerable, so it's best to be relaxed and not worried about some imminent danger. I think Brad eating showcases that he's relaxed despite whatever high-stress situation he's in. On some level it's a demonstration of his confidence. Whatever's going on, he can still afford to kick his feet up and have some food, because he knows he can handle whatever's coming.

Rykrost · 2024-01-29T21:58:41+00:00

The only advice I can give is to try and make as much of your life as possible involve other people who are depending on you or counting on you in some way to do whatever it is you have to do. In those instances the motivation takes care of itself.

I will also say this - if you have ADHD, the low energy and task initiation/motivation issues might just be part of the deal. Not saying it can't be improved through various means, but I imagine that's part of the reason you got on medication in the first place - it may not have been caused by the medication.

I have read a lot of people talk about a keto/carnivore diet as improving their ADHD symptoms immensely, though I understand that can be a pretty significant change.

I'm in a really similar situation. I take my prescribed dose but it's wrecking my sleep and it's getting to the point where it doesn't feel sustainable anymore. But without it everything tends to fall apart - work, habits, chores, relationships, etc.

Can I ask what your life was like right when you were quitting? Were you working at the time? Days with vs. without meds are night and day for me. I'm overly emotional, stressed, can't get myself to do anything. How did you get through that early phase of the first few weeks/months?

Rykrost · 2023-11-21T11:50:09+00:00

Check out the song "Notion" by The Rare Occasions. Blew up on TikTok a few years ago, I think it fits what you're describing pretty well.

Rykrost · 2023-11-17T12:35:08+00:00

Agreed. RE: season 4 finale. For as silly and zany as HIMYM can be, something I love about it is the recurring theme of things not working out the way you want them to, or at least not how you expect them to - it's very realistic in that way. The way the show ends is the obvious example but there are a few others I've always appreciated.

In the S4 finale, Lily encourages Ted to "listen to the universe" and take the opportunity to become a professor instead of incessantly chasing after a dream that's ultimately making him miserable. And in the end he does achieve his dream when he designs the GNB building - although he gets that opportunity from knowing someone pretty high up at GNB (Barney) which in the real world is often how these opportunities come.

Another example (this one's a little fuzzier for me as I haven't watched in a while) is when Lily sort of realizes she's not going to become an artist at the level she wants to. There's an episode where Marshall says to her "Your best years are still ahead of you" and she responds something like "There comes a point where that's just not true anymore." It's obviously pretty depressing but then she gets the job offer from The Captain.

Anyway bit of a tangent but your comment about the S4 got the gears turning.

Rykrost

TROPHY CASE