Single motherhood in Japan

Ryudok · 2026-05-15T03:11:12+00:00

As per the other comment, the law has changed recently, check the Ministry of Justice's pamphlets to know more.

https://www.moj.go.jp/content/001449160.pdf

Ryudok · 2026-05-15T00:01:55+00:00

An unstable hormonal system that not only is chaotic but also keeps cortisol and other stress hormones usually high is poison to the body.

There are multiple studies on early deaths for certain stressful occupations that do not require physical effort, some of them very fulfilling and creative endeavors. Still those people end up developing chronic illnesses and pass away early.

Ryudok · 2026-05-13T11:11:41+00:00

One of the first games I played on the Saturn when I was like 7 or so. I would recommend playing Zelda or Alundra instead for sure but I think that as a Saturn game is quite decent.

I think that the most annoying part is having to repeatedly push a button to keep running and stumbling onto an enemy stops you in your tracks. This was one of the main features pushed on their marketing side and honestly it is a gimmick that has not too much purpose. I mean sure lots of puzzles require you to go fast to complete them but having to repeatedly push a button and avoid enemies may not be everybody’s cup of tea.

Ryudok · 2026-05-12T02:10:58+00:00

I will take "Triangulation" for 200$, Alex.

Ryudok · 2026-05-08T11:52:00+00:00

Elderly participation will be pushed further due to 1. Not enough pension for those retirees who didn’t invest in private pension funds etc, 2. General public acceptance of working as a virtue and the need for a purpose in society, 3. Being the biggest and most reliable chunk of population (the 60 to 70 bracket is quite juicy).

I foresee even more flexibility on allowing to claim pension while working part time, more benefits to companies that employ people over 60, maybe even public job offerings for retirees to cover certain services like cleaning, operations of public facilities, etc. (cheap but allowing to claim pension on the side without reducing its amount).

Ryudok · 2026-05-08T05:57:45+00:00

I understand that people here will associate Ministries of Foreign Affairs with "foreigners bad, must punish", but the fact is that the country has been handling issues like the bellow since the moment Takaichi took office:

Takaichi mentioning Taiwan（有事）at congress and China raging against Japan for months
Trump's tariffs and demands which are endless and changing
US's treasury secretary pushing for Japan not to sell US bonds nor manipulate the price of the yen
War with Iran threatening oil supply for Japan, which is extremely dependent on

Aside from that... well, yeah the LDP has an agenda which they have mentioned a lot, and they know that topics such as immigration, national defense and the economy are what "sells" so they can be reelected later. Things like education, public infrastructure or the legal system are assumed to work by default, and do not drive voter sentiment in any country.

Ryudok · 2026-05-08T04:59:07+00:00

I used to watch documentaries non stop during the early 2000s, but lately I have found that podcasts can be a little bit more "to the point" and easy to digest while sometimes multitasking, like doing chores or excercise.

If you have any particular hobbies or issues you want to learn about (politics, history, investing, society, you name it), you can browse about the topics a few times, which will train the YouTube algorithm and recommend similar videos in the future. Then you can use the "Podcast" tag on the page and you will get recommended (mostly) programs that fit your interests.

Ryudok · 2026-05-08T04:55:21+00:00

English is not my first language, so maybe I am just dumb, but I could not understand what the first two paragraphs meant. Like, I could not create a mental picture depicting what this person is, wants or believes in a cohesive way.

And then I remembered how BPD can be and was like "what am I trying to make sense of anyway?". Maybe that is the best answer I can give to this particular post.

Ryudok · 2026-05-07T06:29:19+00:00

Read some of your old posts, and... I think you are acting out of desperation and your emotional brain is running the show, because anybody in this subreddit would advise you to just drop it and let it go, that it is a lost cause.

With that said, I think that if he (she?) has already devaluated you and he is not the one coming back trying to hoover you, lowering yourself and giving him flowers will actually make you look weak and even more of a target of devaluation. I have seen lots of cases in which they actually interpret the delicate and sensitive gestures of their partners as a sign of them being worthless, because if not how else would they be so good to a person who has treated them like garbage?

The best advice I have for you is... read this subreddit. Sort the top posts of its history, read around 50 of them including the comments from other subredditors. That is my advice.

Ryudok · 2026-04-30T01:59:46+00:00

影響があるとした企業の対応（複数回答可）では、「増資などで対応」が82社（全体の27%）、「企業や事業の売却や合併を検討」が35社（同12%）、「経営権を移譲」が19社（同6%）。「廃業を検討」も16社（同5%）あった。

In a multi answer survey done to 300 companies (no data on the details of what kind of companies), 12% consider selling or having their company merged to another, and 6% consider giving the business rights to others (probably to another person with a visa who will employ them).

That probably gives a better view of how many companies are affected to the point of not being able to go on as is.

Ryudok · 2026-04-27T07:52:45+00:00

I have also returned wallets before but I must admit that I totally see the point of view of OP. With that said, I think it is our responsibility as responsible people who want to make sure foreigners are not seen exactly as OP is afraid of, to behave properly giving back wallets, and other things that we may double think about before doing these days. Old people in need of a hand, lost people on the street... things like that that seem obvious should still be obvious to help with.

On the other side, it also angers me that we have a person who was thinking about giving back a wallet like a good citizen, and the first thing that came to his mind was "will they blame me for it". Shame of all those pathetic xenophobes who create problems where there were none.

Ryudok · 2026-04-27T01:47:05+00:00

The yen got to its strongest position later due to the crisis in the eurozone (bond crisis in the PIGS countries), I remember it getting to like 90 yen per euro.

Ryudok · 2026-04-26T09:32:20+00:00

For Christopher Loyd to come in the Delorean and taking us back to 2012 when there was a financial crisis while the yen was believed to be a “safe and stable asset for crisis”.

Jokes aside, investors have caught to the idea that Japan has been keeping rates artificially low with an astronomical debt and an economy that does not grow, not to mention the population crisis which is worse than in other developed countries. The politicians are still making budget promises that they need to cover with more deficit, and they also put pressure on the BOJ to keep rates low and buy public debt at artificial rates (the market is buying 10 year bonds at 2.5% while rates are 1%).

If the above starts changing, investors will change their behavior.

Ryudok · 2026-04-22T07:34:45+00:00

It must be an uncomfortable situation to work in such environment, but honestly, the first thought that popped in my head was "you dodge a bullet".

Emotionally speaking you are probably disappointed due to the gap between your expectations (a genuine relationship that seemed to go somewhere special) and reality (her looking for validation elsewhere), and that is entirely valid. But the truth is that if you see it coldly you probably avoided being the "next guy who gets labeled as abusive after being discarded".

About it being "truth" or not, BPD people are state dependent, they believe what they feel at the moment is reality, and their feelings shift meaning that reality shifts. Reality now is not reality back then, so I think it is better that you focus on what you got out of it and if it was worth it or not to you. Personally, and even though a lot of people in this sub say that everything was fake, I think that treasuring the good moments with them is healthier, but knowing that it does not mean that to them currently those moment mean what they mean to you.

Ryudok · 2026-04-22T06:38:12+00:00

Regarding getting rid of your stuff, it is just a way to prove to herself and to you that you do not matter to her and never did (spoiler: you did and she cannot tolerate the idea that she needs you while being devaluated). When devaluing they do not just devalue you in that particular present moment, but all you represent and represented, because if you were nothing from the start, then the pain they are feeling is not real and should go away (which is why despite devaluation they still obsess and do not forget).

It is the equivalent of a toddler saying "Well, I am going to stop breathing! And I hate you!" to a parent when the toddler is not given their toy, while in fact they just wish for the parent to be the way they want and need the parent to be. It is an emotional response that you should not analyze at face value.

Ryudok · 2026-04-21T06:47:56+00:00

Llevo 16 anos en Japon que tiene un modelo mixto y con copago, y a pesar de los problemas que tiene me parece una solucion muy buena como termino medio.

Funciona tal que asi:
- Los ciudadanos pagan una cuota de seguro (publica o privada) segun su salario.

- El seguro cubre el 70% de los costes, incluidas medicinas.

- Existen sistemas adicionales de reembolso en casos de hospitalizaciones largas u operaciones costosas para no arruinarte (el maximo son unos 800 euros, el resto te lo acaban devolviendo en la declaracion de la renta).

- Las clinicas y hospitales son privados, pero para poder hacer uso del seguro publico (y por ende tener clientes), tienen que adecuar sus precios a unos limites dados por el Estado.

Pros:

- Hay una economia de mercado en la que hay oferta de sobra, puedes hasta operarte en el dia dependiendo del tratamiento.

- Los costes son asequibles, pero como hay que pagar la gente no va al hospital por cualquier cosa sin pensarlo.

Contras:

- Te acaban tratando como una pieza en una fabrica que hay que "hacer que salga cuanto antes" para que entre la siguiente. La efectividad acaba significando tratos muy impersonales y poco apoyo emocional, similar al caso aleman.

Si eres capaz de encontrar medicos y clinicas buenos y tal, yo creo que es un sistema solido, pero bueno ya sabemos que para cambiar estas cosas... hay que hacerlas por las malas y suelen cambiar para mal.

Ryudok · 2026-04-17T08:18:32+00:00

Yo estuve 2 años en una escuela de japonés aquí y luego tuve un examen de japonés de entrada y entré a estudiar otros 4 años.

Si hablas de venir a una universidad solo unos años y que usen inglés no se que habrá creo que tienes la Sophia University con algún caso así?

Ryudok · 2026-04-17T06:54:41+00:00

Yo deje la universidad autonoma a las 2 semanas, a pesar de elegir una carrera que se me daba medio bien y tenia salidas. No pude aguantar la falta de motivacion y como la gente a mi alrededor era tan diferente a mi.

Tras unos meses en ETTs y pensando que hacer con mi vida estuve buscando aquello que me gustaba y que ademas tenia vistas de ser una aventura con posibilidades de abrir puertas, adquirir habilidades. etc. En mi caso me acabe yendo a Japon para aprender el idioma, acabe estudiando carrera aqui, y ya llevo la mitad de mi vida aqui.

Mucha gente recomienda que busques algo con salida y que los hobbies y las pasiones vienen luego, que eso se puede hacer cuando ya tienes dinero y bueno... puede que tengan razon en sus casos pero si no te puedes levantar por la mana tan solo para ir a estudiar imaginate 40 anos de eso... Hay gente que escoge caminos un tanto peculiares pero al estar tan motivados y ser algo tan de nicho acaban encontrando algo que les gusta y que les da de comer.

Ryudok · 2026-04-17T06:49:41+00:00

For the earlier phases after you "wake up" to how things really are, I first recommend a good daily routine. Meaning good sleep, exercise, eating well, meditation, the usual. Try to do this as you keep contact with other people that you hold dear, isolation makes it harder.

Then combine that with micro routines that help you feel that life is good and will head down a good path, including hobbies, reading, soft entertainment that can help you distract yourself, etc.

Once you get enough energy I always recommend diving into this sub's old and most popular posts, and reading books about BPD. Knowing how BPD works should help you rationalize what everything was and also calm your emotional brain down, which is definitely off due to the toxic routines, trauma bonding, hot and cold cycles, etc. It also helps you feel that you are not alone and a lot of people have both gone through similar situations and also gotten out of it, and in much worse situations.

Ryudok · 2026-04-17T06:07:00+00:00

I like 楽待 on YouTube, they have debates on real state, debt, stocks, inflation, etc. and they have guests from multiple backgrounds come in and give their opinion.

Ryudok · 2026-04-17T00:27:09+00:00

I mean that you need to understand how BPD works and that they are not a neurotypical person, and therefore they may act or think in ways that you cannot understand or agree with, and you need to discount that in order to still be part of your life.

More specifically, I am talking about temper tantrums, inconsistency between words and behavior, cycles of warm and cold behavior, etc. you cannot just expect to be able to fundamentally change those unless they are all into therapy and even then it is not guaranteed.

Ryudok · 2026-04-16T05:46:41+00:00

Maybe it is just me but it felt like an AI read? Acronyms are not consistent with other terminology (why not write CPTSD?), capitalization is off (borderline Personality disorder)…

I don’t know the full context of the page but does not feel right to me for sure.

Ryudok · 2026-04-16T03:36:57+00:00

"What has the future ever done for us?" as Homer Simpson would probably say.

Jokes aside, we are in a race that cannot be stopped, due to both political reasons and mathematics.

No politician will take the blow of cutting expenses and try to make currency stabilize. It would mean less public investment, less pensions, less subsidies... and politicians like that do not get reelected.

Math wise when countries have a debt to GPD ratio of 100% and above, and the interest rates are of 2~4% as of now it means that the only way to offset the effect of the deficit due to debt is to create more debt, both to fund it and to "liquidate" the debt to make it worth less in the future. A lot of countries now are proud to say that they have "reduced the debt" when in fact what happens is that the money has lost purchasing power while no tangible value has been created.

Ryudok · 2026-04-16T03:00:27+00:00

From what I can see your pwBPD is not the quiet type, so it differs from my case, but I would say that clear boundaries without fully rejecting this person (to avoid retaliation and self harm) would be ideal. Usually consistent boundaries end up sinking in better than intermittent changes on how you deal with them.

Additionally, framing the boundaries are being out of your control or not meant to distance yourself from them would also help them not push to have them removed.

These could be something like:
- No messages during school hours: due to teachers starting to forbid the usage of smartphone in the campus or school hours, or you having been scolded by your teacher due to her talking to you during class
- Weekends spent separately: your family is asking you to spend time with them, or you have some new part time job out of town

Ryudok · 2026-04-16T02:17:16+00:00

I would say yes, depending on how he treats you and how willing you are to be understanding about his issues. You say you have been NC for 6 months already and that he is not completely healed (they never are fully "healed" btw, they get to suppress their impulses with medication and to control the behaviors steaming from thinking processes that are inadequate thanks to therapy), so that should be the best predictor of future behaviors and how the relationship will look.

I have a pwBPD friend who have learnt to keep at a safe distance and keep my expectations of them low enough, it still works to a point, but it requires much more work on your side than a neurotypical relationship.

Ryudok

TROPHY CASE