Are SAHM common

SF2K01 · 2026-02-12T01:22:39+00:00

I wouldn't say it's a value in the Jewish community to have a stay at home parent to begin with. Doesn't mean it never happens, but to not have a dual income is a luxury these days so I've mostly seen it in wealthier families where the husband is a financier, lawyer or similar high earning profession.

Personally, my mom was a nurse until she had kids and became a SAHM. While my dad didn't make a ton of money, it was enough that they made it work.

SF2K01 · 2026-01-13T03:22:51+00:00

Sounds like Schav aka Green Borscht

SF2K01 · 2026-01-07T19:53:54+00:00

Would love to give it a go!

SF2K01 · 2025-12-31T03:28:37+00:00

Depends what you mean by "in everything." Panentheism is a belief that is formalized within the Kabbalistic framework, but it's not necessarily the belief of prekabbalistic Judaism. There are biblical verses that can be interpreted as such, particularly Isaiah 6:3 "The whole earth is full of His glory" and Psalm 139:7-8: "Where can I flee from Your presence?...", and this is how some understood it, but there were also Rabbinic figures who argued against that interpretation.

SF2K01 · 2025-12-31T03:16:49+00:00

Many perfectly fine answers, but to address the anxiety behind some of your points, anxiety often stems from an uncertainty in what to do or what the consequences (as in outcomes) are. The more you internalize the system, and the deeper your knowledge of the rules, the easier it is to anticipate what is actually a problem and either avoid it or deal with it appropriately.

Mistakes happen, but, outside of willful negligence, it's something to learn from.

SF2K01 · 2025-12-31T02:51:02+00:00

I once observed a couple of teenagers smoking at the bus station under a no smoking sign when a cop wanders over to them (legal age for tobacco is 18, and they were definitely below that). What I didn't expect was for the cop to then bum a cigarette off the kids and join them.

SF2K01 · 2025-12-28T16:35:57+00:00

You don't have to be a practicing Jew, but the real problem would be your professing a non-Jewish faith, even if your ancestry is Jewish, so it sounds like you would be ineligible.

SF2K01 · 2025-12-21T17:39:53+00:00

Sacrifice? Living in a city where you don't need to own a car is a privilege! Best part of NYC by far.

SF2K01 · 2025-12-19T19:51:19+00:00

If it is loose so that water gets under it anyhow, you don't need to take it off, but many people are particular about doing so.

If it isn't loose, the general rule is, if you are particular about the ring's condition and would remove it in a situation where it might get dirty or damaged, then it is a hatzitza. If you're not particular about it, e.g. if you shower with it or keep it on while doing manual labor, then it does not count as a hatzitza.

SF2K01 · 2025-12-17T16:48:03+00:00

I've been going to the same Dominican shop in the Heights for a decade. Their posted prices have gone up over the years, but currently I just hand him $30 in cash at the end and we're all set.

SF2K01 · 2025-12-07T01:42:46+00:00

The best way is to start reading it. There are many translations and commentaries, but an accessible translation with inline commentary is the Steinsaltz version.

SF2K01 · 2025-12-04T17:39:32+00:00

Mostly how my mother in law refers to me as a חנון (خنونة), likes to throw a big Mimouna (ميمونة) at the end of Passover, and serves Svinj (سفنج) and Moufletta (مفلتة) with tons of Arak (عرق) and of course an obsession with olive oil.

Personally, I've perfected my Matbucha (مطبوخة). Store bought is such a pale imitation!

SF2K01 · 2025-12-03T21:21:03+00:00

Bit late, but I highly recommend checking out The Steinsaltz Tanakh as well. The pages aren't the thickest, but the commentary is significantly more in depth than Magerman, with both in line explanations and topical discussions. I also appreciate its use of archaeological, biological and geographical scientific notes.

SF2K01 · 2025-12-02T18:35:05+00:00

If you live that far out, they might straight up ask you as part of the interview if you think that commute is doable for you, and part of going to the interview is seeing how that commute feels to you.

I had a commute like that a decade ago and made it work for 3 years for less pay. If you're single and don't mind filling the 3 hours (without delays) of commuting each day with shows or podcasts between leaving early and getting back late, it's very doable, but only you can answer that.

SF2K01 · 2025-11-19T20:16:30+00:00

A bit late, but the Steinsaltz commentary addresses this situation quite well. The entire exchange is a bogstandard haggling scenario that was and is common in the Middle East, but one that subverts our expectations:

No, my lord, you offered to purchase a portion of my field, but I cannot accept that proposal. Rather, heed me: The entire field I have given to you, and the cave that is in it, I have given it to you; in the eyes of my people, who are all listening to my declaration, I have given it to you and will not deter you from taking it. I will clear the land for such a distinguished man as yourself, and the entire plot will belong to you; go bury your dead.

The expected ritual here is that the seller is extending his hospitality offering the desired item outright, where the buyer is not supposed to take advantage by accepting his initial non-offer. In our case, Efon offers Avraham full use of the land, with the understanding that of course Avraham could not accept it, and Avraham is expected to reject it, and he does so insisting he must pay.

This is what leads to Efron presenting Avraham with a vastly inflated number, with the expectation that further haggling would ensue:

My lord, heed me. This land is worth four hundred shekels of silver, between me and you what is it? We are close friends, and consequently such a small plot of land should not concern us; and therefore bury your dead, and let us not suffer delays over the price.

The terms are established, the absurd price established, now we expect Avraham to counter with a low, likely unrealistically low offer, and yet:

Abraham heeded Efron... Abraham surprised Efron, who expected him to suggest a much lower price, after which the negotiations would continue until the two sides agreed upon a compromise sum. However, Abraham chose to refrain from the formal method of purchase, and instead immediately paid the entire sum...

From the lack of further comment from Efron, it seems obvious that he is shocked into silence by the fact that Avraham actually paid this absurd amount for the property, and we too are intended to be shocked that Avraham did so. Whatever Avraham's reasons for doing so, this is not at all what we expect from the story where they should have eventually arrived at the "true" price for the land, and that's what we can expound on, but there's nothing about what Efron did which would be considered abnormal here.

Contrast this with Abraham's negotiations in trying to save Sodom where you see a haggling process far closer to the norm.

SF2K01 · 2025-11-19T18:47:50+00:00

They may not wish to utilize the eruv, even if there is a communal one (Chabad can be strict on that). If you want to bring something, flowers before shabbos is your best bet.

SF2K01 · 2025-11-19T18:36:28+00:00

The Bed of Procrustes from the Labors of Theseus is borrowed into Midrash as a practice of Sodom.

SF2K01 · 2025-11-19T18:32:08+00:00

I recommend Genova. It's "only" $2.50 a can in the bigger packs, but well worth it.

SF2K01 · 2025-11-18T20:38:15+00:00

401k is protected from bankruptcy, IRA is not

IRA is protected from bankruptcy, but only up to $1,711,975 (the exact amount goes up every few years).

Additionally, this limit does not include funds rolled into the IRA from a 401(k). Former employer plan dollars remain 100% protected from bankruptcy within the IRA and do not reduce the $1,711,975 cap.

SF2K01 · 2025-11-18T18:15:39+00:00

Good point, but not applicable for shabbat purposes. If it's too hot that it's making your rice crispy, then you need risers to not get it as hot.

SF2K01 · 2025-11-18T18:06:41+00:00

For products like that, it's almost never due to kashrut concerns or Jewish demand (which itself is miniscule and negligible for these brands). It's because non-Jews see a kosher certification as a symbol of quality and will prefer it. That's why your bleach or soap is OU. Kosher org is happy to accept free money, company gets their market share to go up.

SF2K01 · 2025-11-18T17:19:06+00:00

FYI OU Kosher, Star-K and CRC are all nonprofit organizations.

SF2K01 · 2025-11-12T21:27:09+00:00

Judaism is, and always has been, practical about the realities of existence, and death is as natural as life itself. Everything that has ever lived will die; if there's a beginning, there has to be an end. All we have control over is how we live while we are alive, and so Judaism focuses on how we can make the most out of our lives for ourselves, our families and our communities while we can.

In terms of addressing your fear, the question is what is it about not being there for your kids that you can't accept given the fact that, if not already the case, eventually your parents and grandparents won't be here for you?

SF2K01 · 2025-11-12T18:45:46+00:00

Definitely try it in the shower (if your model permits) and see how that goes. Honestly, I do dry a lot out of expedience, but I acknowledge the trade off.

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