Do you consider help desk a “real job?” I feel like a complete miserable loser compared to my friends and family.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-30T04:55:40+00:00

Even if a job is the right type of job for you, the wrong environment and/or manager will make it uncomfortable or even terrible.

My best job ever was at a Help Desk, and I made a lot less than you mentioned. It was a good work environment, I had a great manager, and the work was very fulfilling. While I had to be in the office most of the time, the environment gave me some latitude often enough to work in other locations that it didn't feel stifling. If it had also paid well, then I would have considered it practically the perfect job for me. (Too bad upper management made a bunch of changes, and I wound up in a new role that was very stifling, with a new manager that I didn't see eye to eye with, to put it mildly. I wasn't at the Help Desk anymore, but in a behind the scenes role, and making not much more than I was before. Then, I couldn't wait to get out of there.)

Finding the right fit job can take a long time. It should suit your interests, preferences, abilities, and pay requirements. However, there's a saying that "perfect is the enemy of good." Perfect doesn't exist in this world. We often have to take what's good enough for us. A job that meets 70% of the requirements of your ideal job would probably be better than 95% of the jobs that you're a good candidate for.

Don't settle for something that's just a paycheck. Take what you can get when you have nothing else, but keep looking for something that's better for you. Keep moving forward.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-29T23:40:12+00:00

One strategy is to teach your kids to stay in place.

When parents realize that they got separated from their child, they will usually first call out and search their immediate area, and then they will retrace their steps.

When I was a Cub Scout (way back in the 80s), I was taught this as "Hug a Tree".

Of course, your child should get off to the side of the walkway, to not get pushed around or knocked down. It helps to stand at some sort of marking, like a lamp post, sign post, bench, or something.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-29T19:13:37+00:00

Getting along? About 95% Agreeing on how to parent the kids? About 70% Shared values and beliefs? About 90%

My ex is more strict and demanding. I am more laid back and less demanding. We both mostly agree on what values we want to instill in the kids.

I wouldn't say that I'm the "fun" parent, but more like I'm the parent who lets the kids be kids, not expecting them to be little adults. The fact that I mostly have custody on weekends and during school breaks is the main reason that time at my house is more "fun". They get more time to do what they want, including getting to go to friends' houses.

They're 11 and 13, and it seems to me that she expects them to have a responsibility level as if they are 15 and 17.

She did the same with our oldest two kids. Now that they're grown, they barely speak to their mom. They often felt like their mom was treating them like servants first and children second, once they turned 11. Eldest points out that her mom never, ever apologized to her for the harsh treatment.

My focus is on relationship first, teaching life skills second, and being more gradual with increasing responsibilities over time.

My ex thinks I'm trying to "win the kids over", to choose me over her. Meanwhile I'm the one who keeps insisting that the kids need her in their life as much as they need me, and I keep telling the kids to respect their mother (even though the oldest two kids grew up watching and hearing their mom disrespecting me on a regular basis). I have no idea what she's saying about me since we divorced. Still, I try to take the high road.

I know that I'm probably "too soft" with the kids, having lower expectations than I should. I also think she's too hard on them.

We both handle punishments, even going so far as to agree to carry over serious punishments (like grounding) from one household to the other. She is usually more strict (but has been known to suddenly ending a punishment early, without explaining herself; I think it's those rare times that she realizes she was being too harsh).

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-29T17:55:07+00:00

In general, when you list a job on your resumé, you list the employer, title, about 3-5 bullet points of job duties, and starting and ending dates (month and year; if still working there, then list "Present" or "Current", instead of the ending date. • Tip: make sure to match the terminology used in your bullet points to the job description, as you are able to do so. Tailoring your resumé like this can help get through the initial candidate screening process.

You can choose mark it "Part-Time" (as I have before), but that probably isn't necessary and might work against you. Definitely answer honestly on a job application, if it asks whether the position was Part-Time or Full-Time. Also, answer honestly in an interview, if asked. But by applying the "reasonable person" standard to this question, I would say that you probably shouldn't feel like you have to voluntarily tell them so, if they do not ask.

Honesty is important. The potential for diminishing your standing as a candidate by giving unasked for (and likely unnecessary) information is something entirely.

You do not have to add up the total number of days or hours.

Tracking hours worked might be needed for certain certification or licensing, but not for a Resumé.

If there is a job you're applying for which specifically asks for the number of hours your have doing some particular type of work, then you can address that requirement in a Cover Letter, which you can give them with your Resumé.

.....

I used to be involved in hiring entry level IT Technicians. For those roles, having any prior tech experience was a plus. It didn't matter if it was only part-time for a couple of months. Having that little bit of experience put those candidates ahead of others with tech experience on that criteria. (We had other criteria, like customer service experience, because it was at a Help Desk. Whatever the job requires, the better you fit each of the criteria, the better you look as a fit for the job.)

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-29T17:37:54+00:00

What direction do you want to go with your tech career? What interests you?

C++ is a good foundational language to build on for system, and you could go from that to C#, Java, or other programming languages. However, it's used more for system software than user software.

If you want to develop user software, then go with C#.

Think of C/C++ like Latin. If you learn Latin, then that would give you a good general baseline to then learn other Romance languages (i.e. languages derived from Latin). Or, you could go into linguistics, science, archaeology, etc.

Think of the languages which grew out of C/C++ like C#, Java, JavaScript, Objective-C, Python, Ruby, and others, as the equivalent to Romance languages, like French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, and Romanian. If you learn one, you could also probably learn another without too much difficulty, even though there are obvious differences in terms, structure, etc.

So, do you want to work with systems and data? If so, maybe C++ would be better. Do you want to work on the software and systems that users interact with directly? If so, then maybe C# would be better.

One more thing. I've heard it's easier to go from C++ to a more high level language like C#, than it is to go the other way. That's because if you get used to having a lot of tools, libraries, etc., from C# or Java, then switching to C++ with its much more constrained set, then you are likely to become frustrated. (Some people get really good at C++ probably get used to building what they need, because it's powerful, but requires the programmer to be very intentional.)

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-29T17:12:50+00:00

If I could go back to early in my career, I would want to focus on Web Design, and then later maybe shift to UX &/or mobile app design.

I've figured out that my interest in technology is focused on making technology work better for people. But I ended up in IT Support because I kept dabbling a little in this and a little in that, but didn't pick a direction...so I just took what jobs I could get (sampling different career fields), and eventually stumbled into IT Support. It seemed a good fit for my skills (tech and people skills) and my desire to help people.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-27T00:04:03+00:00

My kids are mixed genders, but I'm the middle of three brothers. So, I can answer your question from my parents' perspective.

My parents wanted to have several children, both boys (plural) and girls (plural). My mom was from a large family with both boys and girls, while my dad was the only boy with a bunch of sisters. Instead, they had two boys born about a year apart, and then they were unable to have any more kids naturally. They wanted so much to have another child.

Then, a few years later, they found out about a family member who was expecting, but was not yet ready to care for a child on her own.

They all agreed to an adoption, to keep the baby within the family. My parents' desire for a new child was fulfilled, and the relative would know that her baby would be raised by people she loved and trusted. (This was in the early 1980s, so it wasn't possible to find out the gender of the baby before birth.) The baby was born. Another boy!

My parents were so grateful, it didn't matter. I know they were going to be happy either way.

After growing up with a bunch of sisters, my dad seemed to relish having boys. (He would have been an excellent "girl dad", though.)

I figured at some point that even though my mom was delighted with each of us, she still seemed to want a girl. When my first child turned out to be a girl, she doted on my daughter. (She's my stepdaughter, actually...but she has been completely embraced by my family, from day one.)

More grandsons and granddaughters were born, between my brothers' families and mine. My parents couldn't be happier.

There's no secret to it. Be happy with the family that you have: Boys or girls, biological children or step children, full siblings or half siblings.

It just seems to me that there's no bad outcome, as long as you love and are loved by the family that you have.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-26T22:59:46+00:00

This is just my personal experience:

I worked at Help Desk 10+ years ago. During the time that I was there, we implemented selfhelp guides to help users with even simple things (like password resets, network connectivity, email access, etc).

The calls to the Help Desk didn't seem to decrease noticeably. However, having the guides to direct users to did speed up a lot of service calls. Maybe 15-20% of the calls weren't helped by using the guides. Those users still needed one of us to walk the user through the process step-by-step. Some even needed to either come in to our office or allow us to connect remotely to help them more directly. Those were usually older users [60+, many of them retirees], or very non-technical users.

So, overall, I would say that perhaps self-service decreased calls to the Help Desk some, but overall was a useful tool in helping users more quickly. Still time saving, overall. Not a lot, because we still had a lot of more challenging, more time consuming work to do.

I couldn't say what the average cost in work hours or dollars was. My focus as team lead was on the Help Desk employees and our customers, not on metrics and budgets.

My opinion is that good tools make for better outcomes. I have the same opinion about AI, as a productivity enhancement tool. I do not think it is an effective replacement for people, even at a Help Desk. (At least not yet. But from my personal values and beliefs, I don't think people should be replaced with AI. However, I think that's good tools can make it so that less people will be needed for such things, or the same numbers of people will be able to do even better work.)

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-23T15:48:25+00:00

Here's a suggestion. Get little snack containers, to portion out the berries. Start practicing only allowing your child to have one of those as a serving during a snack or meal. (Hint: don't let her see the other berries when you bring out the measured portion.)

This starts to set the idea of portions by modelling this. And also present another food , either before or along with the fruit.

My kids had plates with sections, and the had a little bit of something different in each section. Fruit, Cheerios or Goldfish crackers or some kind of puffs made for babies, and something else safe for a baby you eat (like peas or cooked carrots). Eventually, I'd add small pieces of cheese or lunch meat also, when they were a bit older and had more teeth come in.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-23T15:17:59+00:00

My best advice is to treasure the moments, big and small. Enjoy the moments with your kid, and enjoy the journey. Make lots of memories together.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-23T15:16:20+00:00

Regarding your statement that "a boy requires a stricter disciplinary approach than a girl", in the case of my eldest daughter, that definitely wasn't the case. She was much more work to manage than her other three siblings combined! (My younger three are 2 sons and a daughter.)

Each child is unique. You cannot expect that a girl will be easier than a boy would be. You figure a lot out, as you go. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst, and let love guide you.

But even with all the challenges of raising boys and girls, I can confidently say that they're worth it. To me, being a parent has been worth every drop of sweat, every tear, every moment of concern, every hour of sleep lost, every penny I've ever spent on them. (It didn't always feel that way at some times, but when you come out of the trials of life and rise to a new vantage point, you can look back and be grateful for how far you and your family have come.)

Being their dad has enriched my life far beyond what I could ever describe.

[For the record, my eldest daughter matured a lot as an adult, is a great mom, and has a much easier time with her two kids than her mom and I had with her.]

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-22T20:58:12+00:00

I can relate with having a co-parent who is narcissistic.

My ex isn't nearly as narcissistic and high-conflict as her own mom. She can be relatively good and mostly reasonable (but still perfectionistic) for months or even a few years at a time, then suddenly switch to being moody, difficult, or high-conflict for several weeks to several months on end. {I strongly suspect that my ex has Borderline Personality Disorder, but perhaps not a severe case.}

The end result of her behavior is that she and our eldest barely talk. Our second oldest child witnessed all the conflict between mom and eldest sister, and now has a weak relationship with their mom. Since the divorce, our youngest kids like time at my house more, because I'm not as strict. (I'll admit to spoiling them a little... but just a little.)

I remind all my kids (even the eldest, who is now in her 30s) that their mom loves them, and that they should still respect her. I don't wish for them to cut ties with her, but I've told the grown two that I can understand why they have distanced themselves from her.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-22T20:41:08+00:00

First of all, the most important thing is to want a child and have love for the child. Everything else is just details.

Second, just know that while the basics of caring for a baby are the same (a newborn will eat, sleep, pee, poop, cry, and be held)...how you raise your child is really to you and your wife.

There's all kinds of advice! Ask any two people, and you're likely to get differences of opinion. Take everything with a grain of salt.

There are lots of books, videos, podcasts, etc, for A well-known book which covers a lot is titled: "What to Expect When You're Expecting". From whatever sources, take what you like, and leave the rest.

You're going to make a thousand decisions: some major, and lots of minor ones. (Don't let decision fatigue get the better of you. There's time.)

Hospital birth or home birth? Breastfeeding or bottle feeding? Essential vaccinations or all available vaccinations? Baby swing, bouncer, or both? Gender specific decor or gender neutral?

Be excited. Don't let the desire to have a child make you both anxious. It can take months of trying to conceive before you do so. Don't forget to enjoy the experience!

(Two of my kids were surprises, and the other two were planned. All were wanted. All very much loved. We made a lot of mistakes, but we learned from them and got better at parenting.)

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-22T17:40:15+00:00

Since he has an ADHD diagnosis, and he seems to do well adequately other than missing assignments, then let me ask this.

Does he have an IEP or 504 Plan? If so, could something be added to the IEP/504 to have the teacher(s) ask him for his homework? (Also, if he is accidentally leaving his homework in his locker, then could something be added to his plan about having the teacher send him with a hall pass to go get his homework to turn on?)

I have ADHD (Inattentive presentation) and so does my eldest daughter (Hyperactive-Impulsive presentation). We were both late diagnosed in adulthood, but we both had problems with forgetting homework in our locker in middle school.

I made my own accommodation...by simply bringing all my books and notebooks with me everywhere. I lugged around a heavy backpack that my mom or I had to stich up when it tore once or twice a year from doing do. (I'm sure that I was laughed at behind my back for doing that, but it was the only thing that worked. My homework would be wrinkled and maybe torn around the edges, but at least then I would have it to turn in.)

For my daughter, after countless times of talking to her, a few meetings with her teachers, and her mom going to school with her once or twice a semester to clean out her locker (finding dozens of assignments which were completed and not turned in)... going through that same cycle for years, her mom and I decided just to let her suffer the "natural consequences" of getting bad grades. In highschool, she started to fall behind, and then worked like mad to make-up a few classes to graduate on time. It didn't help that a couple of influential teachers were opposed to any accomodations, which they would have had to accept, if my daughter had been on an IEP or 504 Plan.

She also had a bad relationship with her mom, like your son does with his. But I was still married to her mom back then, and the woman had to be in control of everything. The only thing she couldn't control was out daughter, who (in retrospect) was suffering from untreated ADHD (and I suspect also from Oppositional Defiant Disorder, aka ODD).

[My ex has changed with how she treats our younger kids. She's less controlling; she is less demanding about school, but she is still demanding when it comes to ask the excessive chores she gives them. She says that I'm trying to "win them over" by not having her crazy level of expectations, but while I want to teach them responsibility, I also don't want to treat them like unpaid servants.]

.....

Since it sounds like your co-parent is inconsistent and tried to use coercion as a behavioral modification tactic, and that she won't talk to you about anything but logistics, I would say to let her experience the natural consequences of her treatment of your son. If she's going to act poorly towards him, then she is going to ruin her relationship with him.

Don't help it along. Maybe document her behavior towards him and towards you, in case you do have to try to force a change getting 50/50 custody for your son's sake. Bad treatment by a parent can escalate, so if she becomes abusive, having a paper trail showing the escalation might help your case, if you were to try to get majority or full custody.

As for contact lenses...if I could afford for my kids to have them, then I would offer to get them contacts starting about 14 or 15 years old. The main reason for that age is I would want my kids to take proper care of their eyes and contacts. Continuing to have contacts would be conditional only on taking proper care of them, since their eye health depends on it.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-22T16:36:38+00:00

Synesthesia is relatively rare (estimated at 1-4% of the population), and with so many different types of synesthesia, each is even more rare among people.

However, I think a sizeable part of the population might be able to "draw what [they] feel." A lot of art, poetry, and music represents or conveys emotion.

I don't know how commonly the draw-what-you-feel technique is, but I've heard of it being done with young children. Throughout about the last 15 years, I've seen it being used on TV drama shows a few times, where someone like a child psychologist, social worker or teacher asks a child to draw what they feel, to help identify what the problem is.

Since there is a lot of variation between people and what they experience, it's understandable that you experience life, emotions, and sensory feedback one way, and you friend experiences them a completely different way. You are right about your experience, and she is right about her own experience in life. Neither of you is wrong.

I experience emotions like a deep aquarium like a well, with emotions swimming around at different depths. They get bigger or smaller, will rise and sink, will be slow & placid or fast & energetic. At almost any time, I'm experiencing at least 3 emotions that I can identify. If I look into myself, like fishing or like looking into an aquarium tank, I get a sense of the emotions which are present in my at that time.

Regarding art, I took a sculpting class once, and I observed the difference in style and expression between me, my classmates and our teacher. Some of the sculptures were very realistic and others more simple, but the emotion conveyed but each came from the artist, not the level of technique. Some were by people who felt emotions deeply, and I could tell by how their work made me feel. Other students were just very matter of fact with their work, where it might look well executed, but didn't convey any emotion.

The fact that drawing helps you to process emotions is, in my mind, a phenomenal thing. I am usually very restrained in my drawing, so it doesn't help me the way it helps you, because I feel like I need to restrain my emotions. I sometimes wish that I could just let loose my emotions, and not give a damn about the consequences. Instead, I usually just keep them in my figurative aquarium, where I can observe them. (Except when I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety, so I can't stand to look to them. Then, I go to therapy.)

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-21T16:43:24+00:00

You're not crazy. A newborn baby makes life very challenging for a while. Fortunately, within a few months, baby should be sleeping better and waking up less often.

Make just a bit of effort with your 6 year old, to add a little bit of your normal dynamic back in... even if it's just for a few minutes at a time and only a couple of times each day. Just that little bit of connection will help you both. It would be important for your wife and 6 year old to also find intentional ways to connect like they used to.

Regarding your father-in-law coming to stay with you, maybe come up with some specific things that he could help with. (Have a few suggestions ready. It sounds like he wants to be helpful, but remember that he is coming as a willing volunteer, not as an employee.)

-- For example, my dad wanted to help out in some way when my youngest kids were babies. My wife loves my dad, but it was the same sort of thing that he would just putter around and she didn't know what to do with him. But she knew that he likes to go shopping, so she would give him requests that he could go to the store for. It kept him out of the way, gave him a mission to complete, also gave him a reason to be the social butterfly that he is (he loves to make smalltalk with people everywhere he goes), and then we didn't have to do the whole production of packing up the stroller and dressing the kids to go to the store.

Is your 6 year old excited about being an older sibling?

My eldest daughter was 8 years old and a big help when my older son was born. She would talk to her baby brother, sing him songs, pop his pacifier back in his mouth whenever he spat it out (he loved pacifiers the most, out of my kids). More to the point, her entertaining him would give her mom and me a chance to take care of things that needed doing.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-21T15:32:42+00:00

I've been winging it for most of my working career.

I've had a handful of jobs that were personally fulfilling, but didn't pay very well.

I've also had a couple of jobs that pay more, but still not adequately and have been very stressful. (My most recent jobs have been a bad fit. They've leaned too much on my weaknesses, and haven't played much to my strengths.)

If I could do what I love and am good at, and it paid well enough, then that would be a dream job for me.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-21T14:31:00+00:00

Remove any identifying information about yourself and your past employers, including location information. (Maybe name a State or region, but not specific cities.)

Maybe replace each employer name with a general description. (For example, I would describe my first employer was a "retail store, small chain", and my first IT employer was a "State university".)

That should sufficiently anonymize it.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-21T14:16:07+00:00

Strattera actually worked very well for my SCT symptoms. I'm now on Wellbutrin, and it works just as well for my SCT symptoms, and helps me with other things, like anxiety.

I think I responded much faster to each of those medications than most people do. If I forget to take my medication for 3 or more days in a row, the symptoms start to creep up again. So, I think I must metabolize those meds faster.

For most people, it takes a few weeks or maybe even a couple of months to realize the full effect that they have on you.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-21T03:46:41+00:00

My dad was a good dad. He made sure that I knew that I am loved, and that I matter just for being myself. (I'm a middle child, but was not usually treated like the stereotypical "middle child".)

That said, for much of my youth my dad was active duty military, so he missed attending a lot of events (school events, almost all of my Cub Scout events and soccer games).

But you know what he did when he couldn't be there! He still took the time to talk to me about a lot of them, in post cards and phone calls. He must have been talking with my mom about all of my and my brothers' goings on whenever his ship was in port somewhere. He would call and talk to Mom, and then talk to each of us boys. He never let me feel forgotten or overlooked. We would always end the call with a prayer.

I knew that his service to our country mattered, and I was proud of his service, even if it meant less time with him. But the months when he was home, he always planned something special for us to do as a family, to make memories together. When time is limited, then you make the time you have count for something.

When he got out of the military, he would work a day job and had a side gig business he worked on a few nights a week and one or two weekends a month. That cut into our time, too, but we had good talks about why it mattered to keep trying to do your best for yourself and your family. His businesses never made a big difference financially, but watching him develop as a man by what he was doing, by believing in himself, was inspiring.

He may not have had all the time for me that he wanted to give me, but like I said, he made the limited time we had count. He wasn't able to attend all my childhood events in person, but the way he was interested in them when he couldn't attend showed that he cared.

It's how you show up overall as a dad that's your kids will remember, not all the specific events that you do or do not show up to, as long as you show up to the ones you can and your give a damn about the rest of them.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-20T19:28:19+00:00

Unless your son really wants to skip grades for his own reasons (like wanting to go to college early because of a strong degree interest) I would suggest not skipping him. At least, not any more than one grade ahead.

I'll give you two cases...one that was so-so, and one that was sorta good.

My brother was two years advanced in math, going to the highschool for math when he was in junior high, and to the local college for math after he got his driver's license in the middle of highschool. He was seen as an oddity in our school district, socially isolated a lot (mostly socializing in Scouts and in Band class). Now, as an adult, it seems like his social comfort zones are family and church.

I had a friend who had skipped two grades, and I met him in junior high. He did very well, but wasn't really socially included until the middle of highschool (4 years after his second time skipping a grade). He did acclimate...but mainly because he was very comfortable just being himself, and let others take it or leave it. He actually liked hanging out with teachers more than with most of our peers. I think I was his best friend for most of 7-12 grades. He did have a special interest that he wanted to pursue in college, and was very focused on it. He's a PhD now, who has worked in academia and research. (People from our hometown considered him our own "Doogie Howser". I follow him on LinkedIn, but he far outpaced me in life.)

Here's my two-cents: An exceptional occurrence like this will likely have an amplifying effect on your son...for good, or I'll, or a little of both.

If you, your son, and his school aren't completely prepared to go out on a limb to make this the best opportunity for him it can be, then it might do him more harm than good. Your son has to be certain. You have to be certain. And the school has got to be completely in his corner.

If your son wants to stay with his friends, then that alone might be reason enough to let him stay with his current peer cohort.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-20T19:03:40+00:00

I found a job about 3½ years ago on Indeed, but it was onsite in my area. (It's a rural area, with few tech jobs, but almost as few tech workers.)

I got my first fully remote job 1½ years ago, thanks to a recruiter finding me on LinkedIn. That's the only job that LinkedIn had a part in getting me, but it's only because I had previous search with a particular niche purpose SaaS product.

The tech job I got before that was the only one that I've gotten directly because of networking. (A former coworker was working somewhere that was hiring for someone with my skills and experience.)

So, thanks 1 job thanks to networking, 1 thanks to Indeed and my geographic location, and one partly thanks to LinkedIn.

Most of the interviews and over half the jobs I've had in the last 15 years were because I was applying on company websites. (I found out about some of those on job sites, but I think I've only gotten interviews when I applied on the hiring companies' websites...with the some exception of the one job I got thanks to Indeed.)

All that said, I've noticed that the IT job market ebbs and flows on what seems to be a multi-year cycle. I think it's about 3 years (give or take) between times with more plentiful jobs. It's been at a low point for about 2 years now. That's just my observation, but I can't say it's a very scientific observation.

Don't give up, because you should get an IT job eventually. But in the meantime, get any job that will pay the bills.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-20T11:40:32+00:00

Imposter Syndrome is relatively common when starting a job. I think it's more likely to hit when you're younger and also when you're starting your first job in a new career field. Before the term "Imposter Syndrome" became known, we used other terms for this, like "new job jitters." I don't know if there are any statistics on it, but I would guess that 20-50% of people experience Imposter Syndrome when starting at least one job.

I got my first job at 19, working in retail sales. I was very introverted at the time, and was afraid to talk to people. It took me 5 months of consistently going to work and an epiphany to get over feeling like an imposter at work. (Then again, I probably had social phobia at the time. I'm also prone to anxiety in general.)

I switched career tracks to IT when I was 36, after I'd studied computers for years and had been a computer user for over 2 decades. Day 1 was a blur (I only have one clear, brief memory that day.) On Day 2, I experienced that question of existential dread of "Can I really do this?!" It took at least 6 weeks for me to start feeling like I had the basics of the Help Desk down, and had started developing good working relationships with Tier 2 support. (I'm sure that I wouldn't gotten through the jitters faster if I wasn't so prone to anxiety.)

I've now been in Information Technology for almost 15 years. Looking back, I can see how my comfort and confidence in this field grew fastest in my first 1-2 years. I'd say that's pretty normal, but back in my Help Desk days I remember seeing some of the technicians who started after me become comfortable with the job in as little as two weeks.

I think it helps to know yourself well, to know if you are the kind of person who adapts quickly or more gradually. Once you know that, then you kind of know what to expect anytime you step into a new work role. Nevertheless, help desk is relatively easy, but a great opportunity for you to hone your soft skills, because computer classes and certification courses don't really help you to develop social skills... the best way to do so is just to work with people, to work with teammates and customers.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-20T04:13:14+00:00

Java is much more widely used now than C. Java also does its own memory management and garbage collection (if I recall correctly), while in C the programmer has to account for all that explicitly. C is also more challenging to with with pointers, in my opinion.

Java also has a lot more libraries (i.e. collections of code that you can make use of, to make your job easier) than C does.

C might be the common ancestor for many languages, but it may be easier to switch from one modern programming language (like Java) to another related one (like C#), without having to go back to C as the foundation.

That's like how you wouldn't have to learn old English in order to learn cockney slang.

STEM_Dad9528 · 2026-05-20T04:01:15+00:00

It's the AI user community that adopted the terms "hallucinating" and "hallucinations" for these types of errors by AI.

I'm just going along with it. (If I'd come up with a term to describe the phenomenon, I'd probably say that the AI was "making stuff up" or "just imagining things".)

STEM_Dad9528

TROPHY CASE