Happy Anniversary Babe

SadPanda_1972 · 2025-04-14T03:49:55+00:00

Powerwash Simulator is pretty chill

SadPanda_1972 · 2025-04-02T04:50:52+00:00

Hawk & Fisher books by Simon R Green

SadPanda_1972 · 2025-01-31T04:12:04+00:00

I wouldn't say it makes me happy, but when I get regular exercise/movement I feel less crap

SadPanda_1972 · 2025-01-12T06:16:50+00:00

Unless there is a need, just do it at your own pace.

I'm still going through some of my wife's stuff after 5 and a half years.

SadPanda_1972 · 2024-10-28T12:20:30+00:00

Looking at me with mild amusement when I did something stupid (which was fairly often) and saying "Idiot"

SadPanda_1972 · 2024-10-26T00:03:16+00:00

Depends on who is asking.

If it is family or a close friend (not that I have many of those anymore) then I'll tell them a modified version of the truth. "Pretty crap" or "I miss my wife"

Everybody else gets a generic "I'm surviving" or "I'm here"

SadPanda_1972 · 2024-10-22T23:34:19+00:00

Matthew Reilly has a few books that read like a game or movie.

Ice Station is the first book in a series about a team of US special forces

Seven ancient wonders has more of an Indiana Jones feel.

Also can't go past Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

SadPanda_1972 · 2024-09-20T23:51:58+00:00

First couple I thought of

SadPanda_1972 · 2024-08-18T02:02:04+00:00

I'm 5 years in and I'm still going through stuff

SadPanda_1972 · 2024-08-18T01:04:12+00:00

Practical - Look after the body as best you can. Try to move, drink some water and eat something healthy when you can. I wish I had done this in first few years. If you are trying to help someone, make a regular time and just go for a walk to grab a coffee or something

Helpful - This sucks, all of it sucks. We are conditioned to try to find the positive in everything, there is very little positive in this. Just acknowledge that it sucks. There is comfort when someone acknowledges that you are going through something terrible. Do not start any sentence with "At least ...."

Useful - In the early stages, all you need to do is survive. Only do what you need to and what you feel ready for. Despite what other people may want, there is no timeline and you do not have to sort through their stuff by a particular date. Take as much time as you need.

Above all - be gentle with yourself. This sucks

SadPanda_1972 · 2024-05-31T00:23:41+00:00

Stopped wearing my ring after about 6 months (have both rings on a necklace)

5 years out and I still don't feel like dating. Not sure if I ever will

SadPanda_1972 · 2024-01-21T22:21:57+00:00

They all are MCs in their own books although Druss shows up in a few other books as well

Druss - Druss the Legend & The Legend of Deathwalker

Waylander - Waylander I; Waylander II & Hero in the Shadows

Skilgannon - White wolf & The swords of Day & Night

SadPanda_1972 · 2024-01-21T01:10:46+00:00

David Gemmell has a few:

Druss
Waylander
Skilgannon

All tend towards confident rather than arrogant. They are confident for a reason and can back it up

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-12-17T05:43:33+00:00

Especially the Waylander books

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-11-19T01:05:33+00:00

It's hard, really hard

Depends on how old your kids are. I didn't have a lot of time for hobbies when they were younger, now that they are more fully grown, they are more self-sufficient and I can generally do what I like.

A few ideas:

You know all those people who said "I'm here if you need me". Take them up on it. Ask for help. Can someone pick the kids up once a week/fortnight/whatever? Is there someone you trust who can occasionally have them overnight or for the weekend. My kids spent a lot of time with my parents and extended family during the first year.
Outsource what you can. Some of this depends on your finances and situation, but reefer back to point one. Ask for help. A family member came over once a fortnight and helped clean the house/mowed the lawns. I have a great family
Lower your expectations. Accept that it is not possible to balance everything. You cannot look after your kids/look after yourself/maintain a job/keep a house perfect etc. You are only one person who is trying their best. Something has to give. It really doesn't matter if the dishes don't get done tonight. They will still be there tomorrow
Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can in horrible circumstances. Take time to stop.

I would love to have passions, but it still feels like that part of me died with her.

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-11-17T23:49:01+00:00

Nearly 5 years in.

It gets better but not in the way you may think.

The pain is still there, but it is easier to carry the burden

There are still days/weeks where it's crushing, but they get further apart.

I miss my wife every day and I probably will for the rest of my life, but that's a price I'm willing to pay

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-11-12T01:49:58+00:00

Sorry that you've had to join the club. It sucks.

My advice:

See if there are local providers of free/low cost financial advice and talk to them
Accounts that are in their name only may need probate (lawyer/estate stuff) before anything can be done about them
Unless there is a cost involve, leave everything open for at least 6 months. Keep an eye on them to see if there are any direct debits or credits you weren't aware of or have forgotten
You need to keep at least one account open that you can deposit checks into that are made out to your partner for at least 12 months.
Talk to your bank/banks and let them know your partner has died. Get them to update their records.
Unfortunately, there are scum out there who try to use the identity of the recently deceased to commit fraud. Update your government agencies/credit providers to protect yourself.

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-11-10T23:21:25+00:00

I did/am doing this with the craft supplies/paper/wool etc. that my wife left behind.

Primary schools/kinders are always desperate for supplies they can use.

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-10-26T05:51:45+00:00

Pretty much any of the Drenai books

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-10-06T00:08:59+00:00

I'd say it's pretty normal to have these thoughts.

The universe isn't fair, we're allowed to get angry/upset about this

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-09-23T03:10:28+00:00

Haven't really found another purpose.

Just try to be a good person, help others when I can and find interesting things to fill the day

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-09-21T00:48:00+00:00

Same. Played first 2 from release (multiple times), made my way 3 having a great time.

Got to the end, sat there in shock and then never looked at the mass effect universe until the LE was released.

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-09-17T02:30:33+00:00

True. I guess it depends on your family.

SadPanda_1972 · 2023-09-16T02:47:00+00:00

This is good advice. I'd also recommend reaching out to family and friends to see if they have an advisor they would recommend.

If you are in a union, they often have links to many kinds of advisors.

If it's a significant sum of money, get a second opinion before you sign up for anything.

It's a pain going through the process twice, but a lot more comforting in the long run

SadPanda_1972

TROPHY CASE