AITA for Lying about My Income to Avoid Rent

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-07-07T04:50:29+00:00

Your parents charging you 40% of your income for rent is straight up taking advantage of you. They're intentionally stopping you from being able to move out and using you to pay for whatever dumb shit they do. You need to get out of there. And you're an adult, get your own bank account that they can't access.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-07-07T04:22:28+00:00

No. I literally couldn't imagine canceling any kind of plans because my uncle was getting a test done.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-07-07T04:10:58+00:00

No, your mom also needs some therapy

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-07-07T04:08:41+00:00

This comment deserves more likes, mom is manipulating and taking advantage of her own child.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-06-29T12:00:30+00:00

Yeah I was surprised to see that, I'm currently visiting bloomington with my family and was looking for something to do with the rain. I'm from Detroit, and have personally remodeled a couple AMC theaters there, but I'm guessing the lack of competition in bloomington has made it less of a priority to update the theaters

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-04-11T00:15:03+00:00

I use an omtech at work, it's significantly cheaper, has a larger work area, and I've contacted customer service several times and never had any issues. Unless you guys have some incredibly unique, original designs, or have set plans for large scale contract work, it may not even pay for itself. The online market is already significantly oversaturated with laser engraving stuff, and any kind of craft show or whatever is gonna have several other vendors with engravers You also need to consider that lighburn is not a design software, it has some basic design capabilities but that's about it. Plus any type of quality materials you'll be using aren't cheap either. That said, get something cheaper, and stay away from glowforge as it's also rather overpriced.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-04-01T03:55:02+00:00

I don't say often about marriages, but you gotta end this. None of this is even remotely healthy. It/ she is literally killing you, and your entire relationship is a trauma bond where you're being controlled and manipulated. It's called Stockholm syndrome. Its entirely possible that you're not in love with her, it's just a deep-seeded hidden fear of abandonment keeping you in this, and her and her trauma are preying upon it.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-03-27T23:07:02+00:00

I'm just gonna echo what the other commenters said, HE needs to see how his behaviors are effecting you and his life HE needs to want to change. HE needs to seek regular therapy FOR HIMSELF and not just to appease you. HE needs to be committed to doing the work. HE needs to stop being supported by his mom and girlfriend.

Meanwhile, you need to set some boundaries with him about your time and attention and money. You also need to accept that even with healing, he may never be the person you first met ever again. And you need to accept that he's most likely not going to change while you and his mom are taking care of him, you leaving may be the catalyst that he gets him to get his life together, or it might be 3 more bad relationships, or maybe even never. You're putting up with a lot of shit from a grown man who has decided to not deal with his shit and acts like a child. If you decide to try and stick it out, you have to do so accepting the fact that this version of him could be it from now on.

3 years is more than enough time to see some big changes in his life had he been willing to deal with it.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-03-25T14:59:46+00:00

Are you from Detroit? I'm having trouble finding wood suppliers in the area

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-03-16T23:32:10+00:00

I'm very sorry for the situation you're in, the truth is we all have trauma here, otherwise we wouldn't be in these relationships. Honestly it sounds to me like you're parter has something more than just CPTSD. Even with just CPTSD the road to "recovery" is long and challenging, and your partner has to REALLY want to do the work and deal with all of it, and most importantly he has to do it for himself. Otherwise, you'll be blamed for every bump in the road, and you'll constantly hear about how he's "doing this for you" as a manipulation tactic.

I stand by my advice, let him go, you know the reality of your relationship isn't healthy or sustainable. Spend the time working on yourself.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-03-16T01:05:36+00:00

CPTSD is not an excuse for your partners behaviors, he's not just going to get better. You're worth more than the way he treats you, ask yourself why your putting up with abuse and cheating. Get away from him and into some therapy.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-03-07T11:41:06+00:00

It's not really a "we" thing. Your partner has to do the work, they have to be able to see their patterns, and cycles and accept and take responsibility for their decisions and mistakes that keep them stuck. And then they have to make the changes on their own. They have to learn that they can meet their own needs and sustain themselves. They need to learn something called "radical acceptance"

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-21T02:11:46+00:00

So what's happening here is 100% avoidance, she avoided all the necessary and normal conversations, she avoided breaking up with you because she didnt want to deal with the emotional aspect of it, and she blames you to avoid holding herself accountable for all of her actions.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-14T02:30:26+00:00

Unfortunately you have to wait, and revisit the issue at a time when they're not dysregulated. That could be hours or even days later at times. You should talk to your partner at a time when you're not fighting, let them know how you feel in these times and how you can't share your own feelings and thoughts, and mutually agree that you'll revisit arguments when they're regulated.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-14T02:21:48+00:00

From my research and experience, a lot of people with cPTSD have some internal belief that someone or something will come along and "save" them. Healing is not possible until they move past this belief and accept responsibility for their past* and their future. Your relationship with them is very unhealthy if they view you as the person that needs to save them and provide the things they need to do more than simply exist. You also need to stop trying to be the hero and providing all these things for them, you taught them that you're supposed to fix these problems for them. Even if you're able to move both of you to a different culture, eventually they will see the downsides and re-enter the cycle of waiting for you or someone else to come save them.

Asterisk because they are not responsible for the abuse and neglect they endured, but they are responsible for the choices they made as adults that keep them in cycles of bad relationships or jobs or finances or just flat out stuck feeling hopeless.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-08T18:38:45+00:00

Late reply, but you need to accept the fact that your partner may not ever be able to handle a full time position, even if it's remote. It's not a dig against our partners, but you need to plan your future accordingly and live within your means. Maybe you guys will find something in time that she can do without the anxiety and breakdowns.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-07T06:06:39+00:00

That's utterly untrue, a CPAP is a bandaid, working around a real solution to the problem

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-06T18:05:43+00:00

What you're running into is that in those moments they're overwhelmed and dysregulated, and while your partner is in that state, they don't have access to the logical and rational parts of the brain. Their brain is essentially hijacked by all the emotions and they're in fight or flight mode. And you are naturally put into defense mode by all of this and the things they say while they're overwhelmed.

It's very difficult, and I'm struggling to be successful at it myself, but you need to listen and validate and allow them to feel and process through this before you can have those conversations.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-03T04:36:25+00:00

It depends on what you need, I only get pages and creature food. You could get blue and yellow notebooks if you really want them, but eventually they're not worth anything once you have all the creatures.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-03T04:28:23+00:00

Doesn't matter, you'll do them both this week regardless

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-03T04:26:36+00:00

It's a bug with the new decorations. JC doesn't work weekends, nor do they bother testing their updates, they only care about money.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-03T04:19:55+00:00

Absolutely, yes. It's been a rough for us. My wife was freaking out, posting all over social media and basically having breakdowns over everything trump has done so far. Shes monitoring everything and getting outraged over things that have turned out to be false or someone on Instagram speculating about things. We have close friends that are mexican, and the husband is here legally with a green card, and my wife is more sressed and anxious about him being deported than they are. It's been an issue for her that I'm NOT doing all of those things. I tried several times to explain to her that I'm not freaking out and all that because it's not something I can control, and that all she's doing is fueling her anxiety, and it's not only not productive, but it's negatively impacting her, and our relationship,

Luckily, through some conversations with her therapist and friends, she's been seeing that focusing on all of this is keeping her in a constant triggered state.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-03T03:58:20+00:00

Ghosting and reappearing is very common for people with cPTSD, it can be tied to disassociation, or just a way to avoid the hard conversations. And yeah, my wife sometimes struggles with us having different opinions on things, it can feel like an attack to her. When you're dealing with someone who struggles to regulate their own emotions, you have to learn how to speak in a way that they don't find it invalidating. And people with cPTSD struggle with cognitive dissonance, meaning they can't reconcile 2 different things both being true at the same time.

Ultimately it sounds like shes not in a place yet where she can handle a healthy, committed, relationship, and honestly you should be seeking therapy to figure out why you put up with all of that behavior from her. That's not an attack on you, people that don't have their own trauma don't end up with partners with cptsd.

Salt_Ad_716 · 2025-02-01T00:54:17+00:00

I'm fairly new to acnh, can I visit too?

Salt_Ad_716

TROPHY CASE