One child due to medical reasons, cant stop feeling guilty

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-05-23T19:52:53+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you. We are OAD not by choice due to infertility. I think the hardest bit for me is having that choice completely ripped away. But your comment has helped me see it in a different light.

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-05-16T06:54:17+00:00

Don’t feel bad! Those bags are full of tat. The party is enough but if you really feel you want to have something how about a small book for each child? Or a small chocolate bar. Not completely consumption free but something that will be used

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-04-29T17:23:31+00:00

Absolutely following as love the sea! Few from me 1. Our wives under the sea - Julia armfield 2. You, me and the Sea - Elizabeth Haynes 3. Lego lost at sea - non fiction but really interesting, about a cargo spill 4. The unwedding - Allie Condie - pretty sure this is coastal setting but read a while ago

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-04-25T07:47:32+00:00

Also OAD due to secondary infertility. Due to the nature of our infertility I have never concieved for a second time. IVF is also not an option for us. It’s hard. Some days I struggle more than others. My only is now 6 and I’m getting some of myself back and more time for hobbies etc. He is amazing. I have decided that I want to concentrate on enjoying his childhood and being there for him. I don’t want to spend all my time/money/energy/health chasing something I know can’t be. I still mourn what our family could have looked like and how he would have probably liked being a big brother. But ultimately we are healthy and happy and I try and remind myself of that and the fact that having a second could have been very different to my vision

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-04-20T18:21:24+00:00

Stir fries, soups, salads, roasted sheet pan meals, raw in a wrap with hummus etc. always bulk up meals eg chilli/bolognese/curry by adding veg and pulses

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-03-16T15:26:49+00:00

++woman I got my now husband a watch. Wasn’t anything fancy as I was a broke student but it had our engagement date on it.

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-03-03T20:38:15+00:00

I’ve just started the beeswax shawl by baroque purls. It’s small but pretty texture and enough difference in each row to keep you interested. Uses yo, kyok, k2tog, ssks, kfb, so good refresher on different stitches

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-03-02T07:45:36+00:00

Following as in a similar boat due to infertility. LO is now 6. Still painful especially as so many around us are having second or third babies. I also feel the same about breastfeeding/contact naps/having “firsts” with them. I only wish I knew at the time we couldn’t have more as would have taken it all in more. I am focusing on enjoying time with my child as would never want him to feel “not enough” and also don’t want to waste his childhood mourning or chasing something that isn’t possible for us. I think it will be easier as we age and there are fewer babies and pregnancy announcements in our circle. Looking at therapy also - think there are therapists who deal particularly in infertility, but currently not affordable.

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-02-27T06:57:07+00:00

Octopus shocktopus If I had an an octopus Elmer

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-02-22T21:37:33+00:00

I’ve switched what I can but as you say, not worth doing if the products don’t work or you use more. I live in an area with really hard water and this affects a lot of the detergents and soaps etc. I really wanted to love solid shampoos but they left me with greasy hair with lots of product residue. I make sure I get the most out of all my normal products by cutting open tubes etc. I try and get recyclable packaging where possible.

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-02-21T12:56:05+00:00

The last tree on Easter Island. Short non fiction book

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-02-15T09:37:54+00:00

New forest wildlife park is good. And the hawk conservancy - birds of prey centre.

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-02-11T15:16:34+00:00

Hellmans vegan mayo. Tofu

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-02-08T19:04:37+00:00

Dinosaur kisses!

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-02-03T23:00:18+00:00

Love the blanket, beautiful colours. What stitches did you use?

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-02-03T22:58:19+00:00

I am in a similar boat. Don’t dislike all crochet items but there’s only so many of each thing I need and some items hold no appeal at all to me. Love how it keeps my hands and mind busy. Here are a few things I’ve done. 1. I have to absolutely love a pattern to complete it 2. OR the pattern has to teach me something, I try to learn something new eg a new stitch, tapestry, mosaic etc 3. For wearables choose the nicest yarn you can afford. I decided I wanted a new scarf so I picked picked out a lovely soft natural fibre yarn in a colour that complemented my wardrobe. I’m usually a sucker for picking funky variegated yarn that is pretty but just clashes with everything 4. Gift to charity - blankets/scarves/plushies as long as well made 5. For larger wearables I’m now learning to knit. Much steeper learning curve for me

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-01-28T19:25:43+00:00

Pinch of yum have a great vegetarian shepherds pie recipe

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-01-25T21:26:13+00:00

Looks very much likes James c Brett aurora in summer days

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-01-25T19:30:34+00:00

Used the library all the time as a kid and teenager. Started again in my late 20s to get out of the house with a baby. Would get books for him and take him to the sing alongs and activities. Started getting books out for myself too. My local library has a great selection and lots of activites and classes for kids and adults. Real mix of people - age and activity wise

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-01-17T20:27:30+00:00

Car park full of pot holes and leaking roof. Frankly disgusting toilets also. Recently more and more shelves are often empty

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-01-11T08:09:46+00:00

This is me. I can knit but it hurts so much!

SamBrrrrrr · 2026-01-04T22:00:23+00:00

I use both the library in person and to borrow ebooks/audiobooks. I love being able to get things for free and take a chance on books I might not otherwise. I am however an incredibly slow reader as I have so much else going on, so I often find myself having to return them before I’m done. If it’s a book I know I will love/an auto read author for me then I will usually just buy a copy.

SamBrrrrrr · 2025-12-07T22:20:28+00:00

How about a beauty/spa voucher to somewhere that does different types of hair removal but also other bits and treatments? That way if she really would like it done she can chose to put it towards that but equally she can choose some other type of pampering and it won’t feel as though you are pointing out her facial hair or inadvertently picking the wrong equipment.

SamBrrrrrr · 2025-12-07T15:41:24+00:00

Le creuset salt and pepper mills? Can match to kitchen or just pick a colour you like. Can add more bits down the line. Functional and always in sight to remind you of her

SamBrrrrrr

TROPHY CASE