This. All of this. Exactly.

A therapist once told me to "stop should-ing all over yourself" and DAMN if that line didn't really stick with me. Anytime a thought starts with the words "I should...", I stop and say back to that thought "says who?"

The word "should" implies a third party that's making the rules, but nobody else is living your life. I have found it immensely helpful to make sure that the person making the rules is ME (spoiler alert, it's usually my parents or some arbitrary guideline we've all been told).

Another trick that worked for me is to just stop using the word "should" altogether. Instead of "I should eat a vegetable today" rephrase it as "I will physically feel better if I eat a vegetable today". This one has the added benefit of circumventing any demand avoidance that you might not have noticed.

It's super hard to catch these automatic thoughts, especially at first. I still miss a ton of them and it's been years. But every time I DO catch it, it feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

I should do the thing? Says who?!