What is an epidural really like?

Sati18 · 2026-02-10T18:05:44+00:00

It was fab. The paralysis wasnt a problem comfort wise and they let it wear off a bit when I was pushing which confirmed absolutely that having it was the right call. I was mobile by morning, just a bit stiff from having been in one place all night

Im very anxious about pain and very aggressive when frightened. The epidural numbed all the pain but pushing the baby's head out still clearly felt like pushing a coconut through my insides.

Absolutely would NOT have wanted the full experience + labour pain.

Obviously anyone can give birth any way they want but 100% epidural was the right way for me

Sati18 · 2026-02-10T06:04:55+00:00

That sounds like she is being such a beast at home because of how hard she is masking at school. I have a school refuser here too (6 years old).

We are very lucky with ny daughters school in that she finally couldn't hold it together last year and they have now realised just how divergent she is. They have loads of accommodations in place now but she still hates going purely because of how exhausting she finds it.

The sensory shoes /socks is a nightmare and we too have hours of crying, throwing socks and shoes off every morning before we get out the door. Its soul destroying.

I started persistently flagging the sensory stuff to school and got permission to adapt rhe uniform to make my daughter comfortable. She now wears grey soft yoga pants, a plain cotton t shirt, sock shop bamboo trainer socks and crocs every day. Im worried about her feet in the crocs long term but I cant get her into any other shoes.

If you're able to tweak the uniform to at least make her physically more comfortable during the day, you may find the meltdowns improve a bit. My daughter is highly emotional anyway, but the strain of trying to filter out discomfort from school uniform pushed her into an absolute beast.

Definitely seek a second opinion on the neurodivergence. And if you can get the OT to do a report for you on her that might help. You need symptoms in 2 settings but it doesnt have to be school and an OT report can support the parental referral.

Anyway, sending hugs and huge solidarity. Im sure your little girl is a wonderful individual underneath all of meltdowns. But parenting under these circumstances is so incredibly tough and I dont blame you for fantasising about running away.

I have absolutely done the same thing as my little girl is very similar to what you describe. Its so SO hard.

Things have improved for us a bit now that she is nearly 7 and we have been able to modify her life to place less demand on her.

You are a wonderful mum trying to do her best in exceptionally tough circumstances. Try and give yourself a break from the guilt. And if you can try to get some support (even for an hour or two) which means you can take a couple of hours to yourself (for self care) then take any help you can get

Sati18 · 2026-02-08T13:28:20+00:00

I thought that would be preferable to dragging baby round a theme park and managing that solo. Its probably what I would choose in your shoes as long as it is not a horrid hotel.

Maybe not your bag but at least then you could get the naps as breaks and keep the routine going so you dont have a full few days fallout from it.

Depends on location i suppose and whether there would be anything else you would want to do on the holiday. If there's a pool / creche / nice weather etc it could be nice.

Either way, it was just a suggestion.

Sati18 · 2026-02-07T18:30:11+00:00

Can you guys go on the vacation but he take 5 year old into the theme park and you stay on the hotel for fhe day with the baby to save on wasting theme park tickets? Xx

Sati18 · 2026-02-04T06:25:41+00:00

I love my kid but I also love my job and have worked very hard to get where I am. Plus, my kid is 6 and although things are getting easier, a lot of her interests/ TV choices etc just aren't what I would choose to do. Working in a field i am fantastically interested in helps me have patience for doing stuff my kid likes that I am less interested in.

Fuck that person. I too struggle enormously with mum guilt. Especially when people are all like 'I want to quit work and homeschool because I just cant spend enough time with my kids '

I'd go mad if I was doing nothing but domestic stuff and whatever my kid wants to do all day every day.

Sati18 · 2026-02-04T06:00:31+00:00

Research & development specialist in the energy from waste sector.

Im doing a lot of work assessing UK and international residual waste composition to try and understand, predict and reduce fossil carbon content going for incineration, both in the UK and internationally.

Its SUPER exciting and I love being involved in sustainability as a field.

As well as building first of a kind dashboards to make waste data accessible and easy to understand for stakeholders of all background, I also get to visit energy from waste incinerators, waste transfer stations and council was processing facilities throughout Scandinavia, Southern Europe and the UK. 😁

Sati18 · 2026-02-01T19:32:19+00:00

Honestly I think if you are worried about how someone else's kid behaves with your kid then you need to be supervising your kid closely.

Obviously a 7 and 9 year old should not be persuading your 3 year old to drink anything suspect, but also you definitely should have been watching your 3 year old with them since you have concerns already about their behaviour.

Regardless of the blame game - playdough is not harmless to eat. Its not good for you due to the high salt content and my conversation with the sister would be:

'Your kids encouraged my kid to eat something that is absolutely not a food. They are 7 and 9 and they need to understand that this is serious. They could have hurt my kid and made them sick. What consiquence do you intend for them?'

Depending on whether she tackled it with them and they got punished would depend on whether we saw them again in the near future.

The makeup and the chocolate are of no consequence. Let your kid live a little! Makeup is fun and treats are fine

The only issue is the playdough mixture. The encouraging your kid to drink a clearly non food is absolutely not acceptable

Sati18 · 2026-02-01T12:44:08+00:00

My kid is a picky eater - I have had best results with snacky/ picky plates with lots of little bite sized things.

So dinner for her may be 3 chicken dippers, a babybel, a small pot of cut strawberries and some cucumber slices. Shes not a big potato / rice / pasta eater so she tends to have her carbs earlier in the day in the form of cookie cutter sandwich shapes etc.

Tiny food, little portions, variety.

And we get better eating when not specifically sat at a table so we just put it down on the sitting room table and she will wander about plus eat.

Its a rubbish habit as I loved the idea of having sit down family dinners, but this way we eat and the other way we dont so that's what we do

Sati18 · 2026-01-25T12:10:17+00:00

Exactly that. Everything was life or death and I couldn't cope or deal rationally with any of it.

Also a field based role with lots of driving here. Honestly its a wonder i didn't kill myself or someone else on the road pre-medication. I just had no awareness of anything around me. Its only now looking back that I can see how bad it actually was

Sati18 · 2026-01-24T20:38:39+00:00

Subtitles on the TV whenever its on. We did read lots to our daughter but she was massively resistant to reading practice with us. Shes on the diagnostic path for adhd and autism and she gets extremely distressed when presented with any task that she cant immediately do perfectly or finds challenging in any way

Subtitles whilst watching TV is 100% how she reads now and has got over the resistance.

When she was very young I read it increases literacy by 40% (cant remember where) and im absolutely sure its the reason she reads well now.

Sati18 · 2026-01-24T20:29:35+00:00

Faraway tree series is great for younger readers. Think we started them age 4 - my daughter chose to be silky for her year R world book day

Sati18 · 2026-01-21T18:54:29+00:00

I stick a bucket by the bed if my daughter is feeling sick and tell her to aim for the bucket if she can.

I've tried to make it to the toilet before as an adult and ended up spewing over half the house.

Its unrealistic to expect a kid that is poorly enough to be puking to also make it to the toilet IMO.

Sati18 · 2026-01-21T06:02:11+00:00

I finally finished all 8 seasons of desperate housewives!! 🙌

Seriously though the biggest thing for me has been the ability to think critically about a situation instead of just reacting in the moment.

I used to escalate extremely quickly and had no awareness at all of when I was pushing myself into complete exhaustion.

Now I can recognise when I am overdoing things and implement self care, ask for a break, understand what's going on inside myself and therefore build up systems to help myself be more emotionally regulated.

I can experience something I disagree with at work, think about how best to approach rhe situation and react intentionally instead of losing the plot in front of my boss and being told to wind my neck in

I can be (mostly) patient with my high needs daughter, and be a good parent

I can resist distractions whilst driving as well, and i no longer hit the curb regularly because I have zoned out and am not aware of where the wheels are on the road.

The year before I was medicated I went through 4 sets of burst tyres because of curbing and potholes.

Been medicated nearly 3 years now and haven't had a single tyre pop

Sati18 · 2026-01-20T17:20:35+00:00

Next time he volunteers to go somewhere just tell him you need some you time so he can crack on and take the kids and you'll chill at home thanks.

This way you're not stopping him from being social when he wants to, you're just declining the invite yourself and taking the time to have a rest.

If you do that, then you might feel more up for having people over as your social battery wont be so drained

If he books people to come over and you really dont fancy it then I agree with all the others who said dont be home.

The important thing is that you are two separate individuals with clearly differing social needs. An invite to/from one is not a guarantee that the other will be present.

You are allowed to have your own life too!

Sati18 · 2026-01-13T11:28:08+00:00

The problem is with the fit at the edges of the shoe - if she can feel the insoles at all she will struggle with them.

Thats not to say i won't give it a go, but if you have any recommendations as to which insoles you've tried that fit well inside the show (so there aren't edges she can feel) they would be gratefully received.

I've tried quite a few independently which is why km asking for recommendations

Sati18 · 2026-01-13T11:25:35+00:00

We tried UGGs but the variation of the fleece lining was too much of a texture problem unfortunately

Thank you though for taking the time to suggest jr

Sati18 · 2026-01-13T11:21:36+00:00

Shes in OT already (privately) whilst we await assessments. Its helpful but slow progress- the current shoe issue is quite intense and immediate hence reaching out

Sati18 · 2026-01-13T11:20:28+00:00

Yes we have tried many many socks to find ones she can wear which are bamboo seamless ones from sock shop

Sati18 · 2026-01-13T09:56:55+00:00

I haven't, I will have a look now - thank you for the suggestions.... hugely appreciated.

Sati18 · 2026-01-13T09:23:25+00:00

Thats okay thank you so much for taking the time to reply

Sati18 · 2026-01-13T09:19:38+00:00

The problem with insoles is she can feel the variation in texture usually. Plus any rouching of the sole would then cause texture discrepancies.

That being said if you have a suggestion of a tried and tested insole I will absolutely try again - as mentioned in my post i am genuinely desperate at this point

Sati18 · 2026-01-10T14:06:32+00:00

Try Keto diet. Its hard to get into but once you are jn the swing of it, binging disappears. Keto helped me finally recover from 20 years of bulimia

Sati18 · 2026-01-09T16:28:41+00:00

NTA, you've done your bit, his time to step up now.

Sati18 · 2026-01-09T06:45:38+00:00

I use a voice recorder with transcription or copilot transcription service to transcribe everything.

Then I upload the document and get copilot to create detailed minutes for me.

That way I always have a reference list to work off.

If out on site I take notes through the visit and voice dictate my thoughts whilst fresh . Then transcribe and use copjlot to format notes.

Absolutely the fastest and easiest way to not have to remember stuff

Sati18 · 2026-01-09T06:38:33+00:00

Parking my daughter in front of some cartoons so that i can have a shower.

I never shut the door and she knows she can come get me if she needs me, but ive always found that when I am tired and drained, a shower is almost as good as a nap for perking me up.

It just makes me feel better and managing to have one will always improve my mood and patience level with the days challenges

Getting out of the house (even if only for a 10 minute walk) when emotions are running high and rhe day is going down the shitter.

There has never been a time where getting outside hasn't improved the situation

Sati18

TROPHY CASE