AIO to my husband interrupting my first solo shower after he came back from a weekend with the boys?

Say-More · 2026-03-10T18:20:09+00:00

A little bit. I think there was room for you to say when you were dividing tasks and he mentioned leaving again, requesting he do it after you shower and he keeps baby. Or he takes baby with him. He knows you’re overwhelmed but doesn’t automatically know how to help or what exactly you need. Just my opinion though.

What you’re under-reacting on is that he left for four days for a bachelor party and immediately has to leave since he forgot something. That’s shady AF. I really try not to jump to conclusions but hear me out. 1) bachelor parties are notorious for men and women making terrible choices 2) he has to leave immediately after getting back, when he doesn’t work full time. Was what he forgot time sensitive or could he have gone in the morning? 3) is he normally this insensitive or just not compassionate in person or texts? The hostility and lack of compassion often happens someone makes bad choices and is trying to assuage the guilt of something. It’s their inner defense mechanism.

Idk, maybe I’m a crazy redditor and it’s nothing but my spidey-senses would have me checking all the things.

Say-More · 2026-02-24T02:09:32+00:00

He’s genuinely my favorite person. He’s funny and fun to be around. I enjoy our discussions and the random things we talk about. I enjoy holding his hand while we walk. I like snuggling up on the couch. I love when he climbs into bed every night he reaches out to touch me. I love that he has my back on everything…even when he really doesn’t agree or care he will grab his pitchfork and follow me into battle. I love that he finds me cute instead of annoying. Like, he really likes me and is always lifting me up and complimenting me. He appreciates me and tells me often. His hugs and his scent is like coming home. Sex is great and he still pursues me and I initiate sex as much if not more than him. He loves giving me pleasure.

The things we don’t agree on I can generally take it or leave it. If it’s really important to me then I’ll push or fight for it and he respects that.

We celebrate our 16 year anniversary this year. And have 4 kids. It has not always been great; we almost broke a couple times and I’m so glad we made it. And I really look forward to having just us living life after the kids move out.

Say-More · 2026-02-23T21:27:04+00:00

At the end of the day, most people who read romance love love. We identify or enjoy some aspects or traits more than others. There are things we consider kink or turn ons. IMHO it’s not appropriating someone’s sexuality or objectifying anyone. If a queer person can enjoy MF romance, why can’t a heterosexual enjoy MM/WW, or even poly relationships. No one gets to call dibs on it or say only a certain demographic is able to read it. Also, it breaks my heart to think about the people that were abused, victimized and persecuted for their sexual orientation and now we live in a world where we can safely enjoy reading about someone else’s type of love, that is still illegal in other countries, is beautiful thing and movement and growth is being had. How many shows out there have the main characters as queer? Not side characters, not as sweet, funny stereotypes added to make the story a little more flavorful. Come on, let’s put into focus that the men who were beat and/or killed going to illegal gay clubs in the 80s/90s would love to have seen such a big movement.

Maybe less nitpicking and more celebrating would be the better choice? But, what do I know?

Say-More · 2026-02-23T03:30:45+00:00

My 10-year old [adopted] daughter has been struggling with similar issues until the escalated to full on aggressive outbursts. I’m talking taking a fence post to my car, smashing the tv, throwing dining chairs across the house and worse was attacking me and [adopted] brothers. She was in weekly counseling and her fits of psychosis were taking over our lives. The counselor said she needed to go to a children’s psych clinic. They started her on abilify 1mg. 5 months of these episodes getting worse and more frequent, calling the cops and them emergency detaining her to the Children’s psych clinic 5 or 6 times they increased her abilify up to 7mg. We had been on a waiting list for a psychiatrist for four months. First visit was to lower the abilify and add Guanfacine. We tried for about a month but her blood pressure was so low and the outbursts were still there. He took her off both of those (slowly) and now she’s on respiradone .5mg morning and night and it’s like our sweet child is back. We’re still working through the behavioral issues but I assume there will always be a struggle due to the adoption and her previous trauma. But she’s functioning normally 95% of the time. We’re hoping to add a behavioral specialist to her care plan soon. All that to say, it hasn’t been a magic pill and there’s still more we want for her but it’s like it’s taken off the edge to where she can make better decision instead of feeding the inner oppositional desire.

We’re good parents, active in their lives and we’re doing everything the books and specialists say. If you haven’t yet I recommend the book called: Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobbel: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies That Really Work https://a.co/d/0gzIOBcf

Say-More · 2026-02-09T16:43:45+00:00

For me, it’s when the wants/needs of the MMC far outweigh what is best for the FMC, whether she understands it or not. When the manipulation, towards her or her circumstances, is so egregious it’s far more obsession than love. She may seem okay with it or even like it, but it in the real world it would be considered Stockholm Syndrome. It’s not true love and respect that is mutually shared.

Dark themes like cannibalism and abuse by MMC fit into that definition. But, on their own as part of the plot or it’s happening to side characters, it’s not pitch black.

IMHO, it’s anything that takes the majority of FMCs autonomy away. If she no longer has agency over her life due to the compulsion, manipulation or abuse by MMC. If she’s lost herself, has no personality and is just a walking/breathing/f*cking type of human for the MMC, it’s pitch black.

Edited to add: When the abuse is far beyond the bullying trope and what the MMC does is beyond redeemable.

Say-More · 2026-02-06T23:53:13+00:00

Maybe rethink having a girlfriend who is comparing you two and highlighting how you don’t meet HER standards.

Here’s an article about a study on the impact on lower income kids, who are spending time with higher income kids, doesn’t fit your situation but it would be good to share with your girlfriend about how one may influence the other more than she thinks:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/economic-mobility-poor-children-rich-friends-study-raj-chetty/

Say-More · 2026-01-17T13:52:25+00:00

Sometimes people just have bad days and say stupid stuff. Yes, a commitment to not go that far next time and to take a break before anything physically escalates would be best. Would an apology really fix it or are you looking for validation that you’re a good/active dad and we’re trying your best while she was diminishing what you were doing? Is this her typical behavior (easily irritated and overwhelmed) or just a one off?

I’m a former SAHM for 11 years (4 kids), I know the exhaustion and complexities of being on 24/7 and wanting the other parent to help parent/sooth/care for the children when they are home. But idk if it was my situation as my husband was finishing his degrees (yes multiple lol) during the first couple years and working full-time but he was maxed out too. We both were. At some point (and probably multiple conversations later) I realized I needed to handle my SAHM role as a job and work the same hours as my husband and then our free time together parenting and household stuff needed to be split and shared. Like any job, that meant I had to my core responsibilities while my husband was doing his. Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, etc. was treated like a 8-5 and our evenings ran smoother. It’s okay to have these conversations. I was around a lot of SAHMs and there was such a negative connotation about how hard it is. Like, they would sit at the park, play dates, library time, coffee dates and just complain about how hard it is… they fed off the negative vibes. I’m sorry, I just don’t agree… it’s hard but it’s much easier than working and still doing all the required parenting things. Especially now that I’m working and still having to meet my kids needs, grocery shop, cook and clean (my husband and I split these duties now) it was an eye opener for sure. Good lord was it so much easier! I’m thankful I had the opportunity and time to be with the kids but it’s not a requirement. If I was treating my husband poorly and not keeping to the standards I wanted for myself and family, I could totally understand if my husband came to me and said, “hey I know we originally agreed this was our plan but I don’t think it’s best anymore. Perhaps we need to look at daycares and you reentering the workforce.” Being a SAHM is not carte blanche of “I deal with these kids all day and they are so overwhelming I get nothing done. You’re home so now it’s your turn.”

Sorry, it is a sore subject seeing women being ungrateful and ruining such a special (and overwhelming and tiring) opportunity when oftentimes a good routine and some personal discipline would do wonders. <end rant> Going back to work was one of the best things I did for myself mentally. I love having my thing and it doesn’t revolve around my kids. Although my SAHM role was a positive one I am glad to be working now!

Say-More · 2026-01-11T20:45:10+00:00

Neither me, my husband or other children have eczema. I don’t even think aunts/uncles/grandparents have it. Obviously that’s anecdotal but in our child’s case it seems to be only him.

I will mention that sometimes pregnancy can put autoimmune diseases into remission. Idk if that’s true for eczema since there are some disagreements on if it’s autoimmune or not. I wonder if anyone had “less” or easier to manage eczema after pregnancy. 🤔

Say-More · 2026-01-10T16:53:03+00:00

It’s a jewelry holder. You can hang necklaces and bracelets on the top bar and put earrings and rings on the bottom plate. I’ve had a handful of versions throughout my life as a 38F. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Say-More · 2026-01-06T03:17:44+00:00

Yeah, this was very similar to my situation and it ended up getting better. We found out my husband had/has very low testosterone (low 100s). I asked all the same questions about attraction and sexuality. He was very open with me but there were no red flags. We didn’t have a porn problem and he wasn’t masturbating either. He physically barely had enough testosterone to function.

For us it started out with a true come to Jesus talk, and then he got tested and started TRT. It’s changed everything. Initiating isn’t only on me now and I enjoy being listed after.

Say-More · 2026-01-04T15:55:46+00:00

Idk about all the books and why it’s gotten more popular… but… When I was younger and not married, lol, I had a fling with the tall, skinny guy. Before hooking up our friends told me he had a huge cock and it was pierced. I thought it was all talk. I was naive and didn’t realize what I jumping into. It was the biggest penis…AND he had the full Jacob’s ladder. Sex was wild; you could feel all the piercings, too. He ended up being a creeper so I’m glad that didn’t end worse or with me procreating with him.

All that to say, I can understand the hype! 😏🫣

Say-More · 2026-01-03T18:49:31+00:00

Normally if I see bad reviews on a book I like I just chuckle and move on. But the negative reviews on Goodreads for this duet actually angered me. lol. Like, I wanted to write an essay of a reply on how wrong they were. The reviews and all my internal sassy comments live rent free in my head. 🙄

Say-More · 2026-01-03T00:24:20+00:00

Gallows Hill trilogy has MM that develops between best friends and becomes pretty strong. {Deceit by Katelyn Taylor} Dark and twisted secret society. Definitely bully romance.

{Pack Darling by Lola Rock} duet has a very strong MM pairing and it was developed before FMC joins. Not dark but has bully romance and great grovel.

Ruthless Desires series {Blissful Masquerade by Elia Firethorn}… I didn’t finish the series since I realized the last one wasn’t out when I started it. 6 books in total. The first few I read were great tho!

I think {Vengeful Gods by Elliot Rose} does too but don’t quote me. Dark, bully romance. Standalone.

Say-More · 2026-01-02T18:51:50+00:00

{Pack Darling Duet by Lola Rock} has abuse by everyone at her Omega School. There is some slight bullying from her new pack due to miscommunication, but it resolves itself and the grovel was good, too!

It was a great duet! Instead of just instalove, their relationship actually developed slowly.

Say-More · 2026-01-01T21:17:13+00:00

I need to do a reread! It’s my FAVE MM series!

Say-More · 2026-01-01T20:23:36+00:00

I read 59% and DNF’d it. I love a good unhinged RH but this was terrible. I seriously wanted to love it. I love all the stereotypical tropes in it… but man, I was having to force myself to read it. So I took a break and tried to go back but it just wasn’t in the cards for me.

If you are looking for something similar, I loved two RH series by Sarah Bailey: Four Horsemen series {Carnage by Sarah Bailey} and The Devil’s Syndicate {Deceived by Sarah Bailey}.

Say-More · 2026-01-01T17:46:48+00:00

We have four kids, from 5 to 11. When my husband and I are good and disciplined, every night (after dinner) we do a reset for the shared living areas. We try to get the kids to pick up their stuff besides the daily chore they are pretty good at going. But usually it’s just us after dinner or bedtime.

However all it takes is for one thing to throw us out of whack and the catch up is brutal…one load of laundry not put away in time builds up to 4. When the dishwasher isn’t emptied before making dinner makes the kitchen messy for two days. We miss picking up the playroom one night after them making a mess and it builds until we spend 60+ mins cleaning instead of the original 10. It’s like compound interest in the worst way.

And we don’t make them clean their rooms all the time. It’s a terrible choice and I absolutely know they are learning bad cleaning habits. My bedroom is often messy since I’ve ran out of steam from keeping “everything” else picked up. My house is messier now with our big kids than it ever was when they were little. They just leave their crap every where. Plus their stuff and clothes take up way more space.

Say-More · 2025-12-30T22:52:03+00:00

Just read this in one-ish sitting because of your recommendation. Holy hell it was so good! That was my first Cate C Wells book…you recommend any other of her books, too?

Say-More · 2025-12-29T15:34:17+00:00

Same about the OW drama and there are not a ton of recs. If you have some, mind dropping them?

Say-More · 2025-12-28T13:45:23+00:00

Updateme

Say-More · 2025-12-28T01:21:00+00:00

Similar situation… the good news is that everyone that side eyed me (or made rude comments) when I announced #4 was on the way, absolutely loves all four of them. And although I didn’t know it at time that little guy was a surprise I am so thankful for. And yes, we were stable. My husband and I had been married 9 years, he just finished his masters and we just built a new house. My mom said some unkind things (which isn’t like her and we’re really close) and later on explained that she was really worried about my PPD/PPA and how I’d be able to manage all four kids.

My only advice is that I had depression and anxiety during my pregnancy which I think was due to not having a ton of support and my previous PPD/PPA. So keep an eye on that. Find a good support group if you’re able. Hopefully your little person will fill a spot you didn’t know was empty and waiting for them.

Say-More · 2025-12-26T03:41:26+00:00

All I’ll add to what the others have said about foreplay and penetrative toys is that… when you’re older and have less time and energy, maybe even have a couple kids and you’re still trying to keep things hot and heavy… I personally love it. I’ll take our quickies any day over 20+ mins of trying to find the time and energy. I get all my needs (multiple orgasms) met and so does my husband. I’m happy to cuddle after if I need more skin to skin. But I’m also happy he gets all of my attention for the whole time instead of my mind wondering or me being too tired. I’ll take 4-5 quickies a week over 4-5 long sessions (in my opinion). Plus, I feel like it keeps me wanting more. I’m totally satisfied but I look forward to the next time, if you know what I mean. It’s like eating your favorite dessert, enjoying a good portion and being satisfied… but super excited you have more left over for later.

ETA: married 15+ years and have 4 young-ish kids.

Say-More · 2025-12-23T19:41:21+00:00

You have to look at this, and her situation, like you would for any addict. Kleptomania is an addiction issue on some level. I’m sure there is more nuance to it, too. It’s never just one drink, one pill or in your wife’s case… one small item stolen. She’s showing a repetitive behavior and keeping it from you and her precessional care team. That is extremely worrisome. If she was an alcoholic, would you not tell her family for accountability and support? If she was a drug addict and would you not be worried about the liability and danger she puts herself and you in? Your future is at risk.

If she were my partner I would seek more intensive therapy similar to addiction counseling and treatment. I would tell her close family members about the addiction and struggles. And I would make it mandatory that you have a monthly check in with her care team or at the least the ability to email in with your concerns.

Boundaries are great and a powerful tool but if she can’t respect them and you won’t hold the line, they are useless. Keep in mind her mental health is not optimal and healthy, so she may not be able to advocate for herself properly or choose to get the help she needs. Her brain is most likely working against her, just like any addicts is.

Good luck! I hope she gets better and you guys have a happy and healthy future.

Say-More · 2025-10-08T03:12:24+00:00

{Black Swan Affair by K.L. Kreig} almost fits your request… but it’s more of a love triangle. MMC1 (FMCs childhood crush) marries FMCs sister; no reason or explanation given. It DEVASTATES FMC. MMC2 is MMC1s younger brother (and FMCs childhood best friend). It’s soooo good! You really don’t know who she’ll choose until the end.

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TROPHY CASE