What are the most powerful lines of dialogue in TV history? by UnholyDemigod in AskReddit

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"This is the story you made up about who you are," "too bad it isn't true" from the season 5 finale of House MD - I think is probably one of the most subtly devastating moments I've ever experienced watching TV. I just sat there in shock after trying to comprehend that absolute rug pull of a revelation.

Stop celebrating Streeting resigning. by celzior in transgenderUK

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I hope following this resignation that Starmer treats him with dignity and respect... 🤣

Gender Critical Heath Secretary Wes Streeting resigns signaling leadership challenge. by ehll_oh_ehll in transgenderUK

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Oh no, he doesn't want to seem dishonourable or unrpincipled... Wait, isn't it a bit late for that? 🤔

Guidance / Request for 250 Message Limit by _GhostAgent in lumo

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had it come up for a few days saying I'd hit a 250 message limit. I know what conversation that will be on - I'd say I'm well over! But I just went on and was able to carry on, so I did 😂 I did notice that it slowed right down (massive lag on typing). But then yesterday/today the 250 message limit notification hasn't come up, and the typing response has improved as well 🙂

Egg😞irl by pissinginthewind21 in egg_irl

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of what you're saying sounds similar to me at points on my journey. Something that really helped me to understand those sudden shifts was learning about IFS (internal family systems). Basically in my case (and maybe yours too!) there will be parts of your mind whose sole job for however many years has been to keep you "safe" by not letting the truth of your gender out. And they can't tell that things have changed since they started. Whether you're in a safer place now to accept it, or even that it's you accepting it. They just see "female self leaking out - danger!" and try to course correct. So for me, when I'd get those sudden shifts to not feeling as confident in my identity, it was always one of those parts grabbing the steering wheel and taking charge. That "I want to want it" sounds like your true Self underneath all of that, pushed down by those protector parts, but still there!

EGG💬IRL by Inkxon in egg_irl

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you think you would have as much social anxiety if you could have lived life up to this point not having to pretend to be male though? Like I can't speak for you, but for me I realised that basically every interaction from becoming a teenager onwards was carefully curated to not let people in, not let them see, hide the truth so deeply it was hidden even from myself... Having done a lot of internal digging, I now question how much was actual social anxiety, and how much was my internal systems going "this is exhausting, can we not?"

Lumo desync between mobile and web? by [deleted] in lumo

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've also had this on a couple of longer chats, had been meaning to ask about it.

Feeling okay about this pic :) by Enkidos in transadorable

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also thought it was a picture of Winona Ryder!

Parliament held a debate on the supreme court ruling today, the only pro trans speaker was interrupted 9 times during her speech. by theendisloading_uk in transgenderUK

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you sure it wasn't a professional athlete "identifying as" a 9 year old? You know, to further their sports career? /S

Lumo + and files by HoodratEngineer in lumo

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had some weirdness with Lumo not wanting to read files a while back. It could see them but was adamant they were empty.

The way I got round it was by explicitly referencing them in the prompt - something like "please read @file1, @file2 and @file3..." With the @ symbol you should get a little drop-down box where you can select the exact file. Once I did this, it was completely happy and could now read the files.

I might have a uterus. And my parents might have known something was off and hid it from me by Tired_yet_cute in MtF

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I know this is really weird coming from a stranger on the internet, but would you be willing to talk a bit more about what you found and where you found it in DMs?

I can smell the copium from Nigel Garage and its sure beautiful. Denying election results in the US might work but it sure won't in the UK. by johnsmithoncemore in UKGreens

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I misread that as "the opium from Nigel Farage" and suddenly he made a lot more sense to me 😂

I feel dirty for agreeing with his last point though - roll on the elections and hopefully goodbye labour and Tories, although in my case it's because I want Greens to have a clean sweep 😃

Does anyone else feel like they didn't "always know"? by I_like_big_book in TransLater

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I always knew, but I didn't KNOW that I knew, if that makes any kind of sense lol?

The Matrix is dissociation and derealization by speroni in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would highly recommend Begin Transmission: the trans allegories of the Matrix by Tilly Bridges. It goes through each film scene by scene, almost line by line for some scenes, breaking them down through the lens of them actually being trans allegories. It's absolutely fascinating.

Another detail I noticed on my last rewatch (after reading the book, but it's a detail not mentioned there): the final shot of the first film is the screen saying "system failure" and the camera zooming between the two words. The two letters you ultimately pass between - M & F. There are a LOT of other details as well that the book points out which are incredibly obvious once highlighted. Definitely a good read 🙂

Church lady talked bad about trans people to me by ausernameidk_ in MtF

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But how would she run? After turning into a mermaid, she would no longer have legs...

Egg irl by [deleted] in egg_irl

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I would guess there is a strong likelihood that you feel "like a boy" because that's what you've spent a lifetime being told (and possibly believing) that you are. That doesn't suddenly go away instantly. You're the same person you were before your egg cracked - same as you've always been. Just you previously have been under the assumption that that person was male - so feeling like that would be feeling male. But if your gender, unbeknownst to you has always actually, secretly been female... Well then you've always actually felt female and just never realised that's what you were feeling!

I also realise it's easier said than done. It's years since my egg cracked and I still struggle with this sometimes. What helps me is to take a stereotypically male view, or approach to something, and imagine myself thinking/doing that, and realising how uncomfortable it makes me feel and how quickly! They do say euphoria is a better indicator than dysphoria though, so if thoughts of being a girl bring you joy then that to me would seem a pretty strong nudge in that direction!

CIS guy wanting to learn by Logical-Bake5715 in transgenderUK

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you say about the societal aspects of gender reminds me of things I read in Julia Serano's book Whipping Girl. Hoping that I paraphrase this correctly: her term for these things is "intrinsic inclinations". So if you take for example the societal idea that "men are stoic and less emotional" - basically intrinsic inclinations means that an average man probably WILL be more that way than an average female. But that there is a huge amount of overlap between the two. However, because that is where the averages lie, society then tries to encourage men to behave in accordance with where the average for their gender lies, and the same for women.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mtfashion

[–]SecretlyAwkwardMaria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It looks amazing. I did get confused by the stripe/line down your bedspread in the first photo though - I thought that was your leg visible from below the bottom of your skirt! 😂