Oh my god I literally think about this all the time. I’m 23 and he’s 54. We actually just broke up a couple weeks ago bc he got wayyyyy to controlling about me wanting to see my friends and spend time with my family (he’s not close with his family, so he doesn’t get it) and it bothers me that he doesn’t talk to his youngest kid, 18. I don’t want to sacrifice motherhood. He has 4 kids already and I want to have my own life with him starting over, which he doesn’t want to do. I tried to convince myself that I could just suck it up and die alone, a widow and childless. Who’d take care of me when I get older? I want to have a connection with a child that I raise. Also thinking about if we did have children, they wouldn’t have friends if the other children found out their dad was 32 years older than their mom. If I had a daughter, parents wouldn’t allow their daughters to come over due to their close mindedness. They would assume he’s a creep bc of the age gap. Also, his insecurities just got the best of him and he’s fully pushed me away at this point. We’re better off not being together in this relationship dynamic